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Halloween Jokes For Kids: Sorted by Type

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By Lela Davidson


Okay, I didn't make any of these up, but they are the best of the web that I have come up with. I tried to keep them pretty tame for the little ones, but there's still a bit of blood and guts! Enjoy!


Witches

Why do witches fly on brooms

Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

How do witches keep their hair in place?

Scare spray.

Why don't witches ride their brooms when they're angry?

They're afraid of flying off the handle.

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch.

What do you call two witches living together?

Broommates.

What do you call a witch's garage?

A broom closet.

What do they teach in witching school?

Spelling.

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Ghosts, Ghouls and Goblins

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?

Booberries.

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in people?

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?

They're so wrapped up in themselves.

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?

Dead ends.

What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?

A scareplane.

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?

Bone appetit.

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?

His ghoul friend.

What's a monster's favorite play?

Romeo and Ghouliet.

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Bamboo.

What kind of mistakes do spooks make?

Boo boos.

Where do spooks water ski?

On Lake Erie.

What is a ghost's favorite party game?

Hide-and-go-shriek.

What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?

You look boo-tiful tonight.

What is a ghost favorite article of clothing?

Boojeans.

What is a monster's favorite food?

Ghoul scout cookies.

What do ghosts drink at breakfast?

Coffee with scream and sugar.


Other

What do birds give out on Halloween night?

Tweets.

Where do ghosts mail their letters?

At the ghost office.

What's a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival?

The roller ghoster.

What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi.

How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch.

When does a skeleton laugh?

When something tickles his funny bone.

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?

Spare ribs.

Why did the skeleton go disco dancing?

To see the boogy man.

What do you call two spiders that just got married?

Newlywebbed.

What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?

Count Duckula.

What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?

Wrap!

Vampires

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?

To improve his bite.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite.

What is a vampire's favorite sport?

Casketball.

What song does Dracula hate?

You Are My Sunshine.

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?

Fangsgiving.

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?

Bloodhounds.

Why do vampires need mouthwash?

They have bat breath.

Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?

At the casketeria.

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?

The Vampire State Building.

Comments

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Isabella Snow profile image

Isabella Snow  says:
2 years ago

Scare spray! Ha!

Robin profile image

Robin  says:
2 years ago

These are great! Georgia's favorite joke is this one...

What do birds give out on Halloween night?

Tweets.

Thanks!

Paul Edmondson profile image

Paul Edmondson  says:
2 years ago

I'm a fan of boojeans:) Cute.

Lela Davidson profile image

Lela Davidson  says:
2 years ago

Personally, I like Mummies and Wrap Music. Sorta Thriller-esque?

Alex  says:
2 years ago

ok these jokes sucks they are crappy

Paul Edmondson profile image

Paul Edmondson  says:
2 years ago

Alex, come on, they are for kids.

Sangay Glass profile image

Sangay Glass  says:
2 years ago

I'm going to tell some of these to the kids at work.

Thanks

rockinjoe profile image

rockinjoe  says:
2 years ago

I'm no kid, but I thought they were awesome. Thanks for the hub!

glassvisage profile image

glassvisage  says:
2 years ago

Cute! I admit that I was attracted to the hub by the picture of gumdrops :)

jeripie profile image

jeripie  says:
2 years ago

hahahaha...great just great

Amanda  says:
16 months ago

Cute! ;)

Nickie  says:
16 months ago

Thought the jokes were veerrrryyy interesting.

george  says:
16 months ago

Q: What kind of boat does a vampire use?

A: A blood vessel.

quensday profile image

quensday  says:
16 months ago

Jokes for kids make me laugh. Bambi+ghost=bamboo haha

mmzzm  says:
5 months ago

i did not even smile im looking for good ones one hour

Casey  says:
4 months ago

very cute thanx!

th5thy  says:
4 months ago

i love halloween jokes they are so cool to me heres one why does a dracula draw blood because he likes to draw a blood

Peytton  says:
3 months ago

boogie man!!! he!he!

Cleo  says:
3 months ago

These jokes will be great for our kid haunted house!! Thanks!

IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice  says:
3 months ago

Thanks for the Halloween laugh! I would like to share this in my FB today, Halloween. A Happy one to you and your fans!

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