How to Clean Your Bathroom

This may seem like an odd dating tip for men, but let me assure you, there are definitely men in dire need of this advice. You see, women expect most men to be relative slobs when it comes to keeping house, and, somewhere in the back our mind we probably think that marriage and proper conditioning will rehabilitate to you to some degree – but then are those of who really just can’t be bothered with training a grown man in the ways of hygiene. And yes, cleaning your bathroom properly does fall into that category. If you’re bathroom shower and toilet are nasty, that’s going to make us wonder how well you clean yourself. Sure, some of us won’t care at all; some of us will be prepared to Mommy you – but if you’ve fallen for someone who won’t be your personal maid, you’d better get quick with the cleaning and show us that life with you won’t be comparable to live with a toddler.

Clean your toilet.

Clean every part of your toilet, not just the seat. Let me be more specific: Clean the entire seat, above and below; clean the lid, above and below; clean the bowl itself, including the rim; clean every part of the tank that you can see, and clean the base of the toilet as well, because all kinds of dirt can build up down there and while you may not see it easily, it’s quite easy to peek at, and it will be off putting if you’ve got giant dustballs down there. Also note that we do look inside the toilet – be a dear and remove and stains from the bottom with a proper scrub brush before we come over, unless you want to make us vomit.

Clean your shower.

Not only should you clean the tub, you also need to clean the walls (including black gunk, unless you want to decrease the odds of our sleeping over) and fixtures. Clean everything in your shower, including the door or curtain, depending on what you have. It’s not going to make her smile if she climbs in there and then discovers the entire inside of the shower door is coated in slime. And while you’re at it, make sure your soap is clean – and by that I mean make sure it’s hair-free. Whether we use it or not, we don’t want to see that kind of thing. Yuck.

Clean your sink.

Your sink should not be plastered with dried toothpaste, hair or anything else. It should be clean and inviting, and it should at least make it imaginable that you actually wash your hands from time to time, so do have soap available or we’ll believe otherwise. Your mirror should also be clean, and not covered in toothpaste spittle or dried cologne.

Clean the floor.

If you’ve got carpeting, vacuum well. If you’ve got tile, sweep the floor and them mop it. And yes, make sure you do mop it, as we don’t want to feel anything sticky under our feet when brushing our teeth. You may not notice the dirt, but we will.

Empty your trashcan.

I can understand that you may not have the need to empty your trashcan for months at a time. In fact, you may not have even used your trashcan since the last girl you dated spent the night. So you may well have forgotten that the two of you left a love memento in said trashcan and it’s still sitting there, waiting for us to discover it when we try to hide our tampax applicator under the empty shampoo bottle. Therefore, a good policy is always throw the trash out before we arrive.