How to Increase Your Chances For Sex

It isn't just enough to work on getting a date, or even keeping a date, it is also important that you do everything you can to improve your chances of getting laid, and minimize anything that would work against that! Most of the women I know (including myself) complain about the same things, and those complaints keep us from wanting to have sex with the men that do those things. This is your heads-up.

There is a fine line to walk between making sure that a woman knows you are interested in sex, and making a woman feel like you think she is 'easy'. The art is to convey that you find her sexually attractive, and at the same time let her know that you aren't actually /expecting/ any sex from her. The first hint that woman feels you think it is going to happen, is usually when she changes her mind.

When you are out on a date, it is important to signal to your date that you find her completely alluring. You can do this by subtly touching her. You do not want to do this in a way that everyone can see. You do not want to make her feel like you are trying to 'claim' her for yourself. You can reach under the table and give her knee a squeeze, or just slightly touch her back as you help her through a doorway. It should not be overt at all. You can lean in when she is talking to you so that she can talk in a quieter voice. Make sure you make LOTS of eye contact, and smile at her while she is talking.

Let's jump to the 'making out' part. Assuming you got her to a quiet place where kissing is totally acceptable, you /never/ want to feel like it is a 'sure thing'. This will make her feel skiddish, and like you can't be trusted. You always want to come off as if you are fully convinced that at every step of the way that /that/ is as far as it is going. You want to make very small moves forward, unless she asks you to do something, or she initiates it. Each step of the way needs to a small advance, and in a way that allows us to signal you where the line is without stopping you completely. We need to feel like we can dictate what will and won't happen, and that makes us feel safe and accepted. It takes patience on a man's part to get a woman ready. If you act impatient you will blow it. As women we want you as riled up as possible, but we also want you to be able to control yourself. This process will also allow the woman to get far more riled and catch up with you and your hormones. Do you ever wonder why women complain that men don't understand what foreplay is? Our hormones take more time to build up in the heat of the moment, then a man's, and we want to be fully turned on as well. We want to reach a place where we no longer WANT to say 'no'.

Keep in mind that you might not end up having sex the first, or even the first few times that you make out, and if you act even the slightest bit disappointed you will /never/ have sex with her. A man might be emotionally immature in various other ways, but in this way you will have to be strong or you will end up shooting yourself in the foot over and over again. You have to learn to take a 'no' graciously. Through this process you will finally be able to bed your beautiful woman, even where others have failed.

It all comes down to one concept: Never take sex for granted.

If you make a woman feel like you think you are going to have her, that makes her feel like you think she is cheap/easy, and she will HAVE TO prove you wrong, or what would that say about her self-worth? Even if you have been together and sexually active a few months, the kiss of death is to treat her like you expect to get it, or that it is completely 'natural' at this point to assume sex is a given. Sex is _never_ a given. This is why most men complain that their women stop being interested in sex! It doesn't matter how long you have been with a woman. We do not like to feel that we are obligated to have sex. Some men feel that way too when their women demand sex from them all the time.

It can be an odd process, but women like to feel that sex is spontaneous, not expected, and not an obligation. You have to show that you are ready for it at any time, but not so much that it looks like you are chomping at the bit for it, or that you are desperate for it. This is a fine balance! Even if you live alone, try to imagine that you want to have sex, but there are people around that you don't want to know about it. So maybe when you come into the kitchen you look around as if to see if anyone is watching, and then grab your woman to kiss her, and then slink back out. This will encourage her to do the same! Think back to how it was to be a teenager and how you didn't know if you would ever have sex for the very first time. We don't want you to lose your confidence in your ability, but we do want that same sense of uncertainty about whether or not sex is happening.

And if it doesn't happen, it doesn't NOT mean we don't want you. A woman's hormones simply do not work the same way a guys does. A guy can get hard at nearly any time and be ready for sex. Men often think that since women don't need to get hard that they can be ready for sex at any time as well, but it simply isn't the case. There are mechanisms in our body that need to happen first or sex is absolutely terrible/miserable, no matter how good our partner is. We need to have the sexual tension build, it relaxes the muscles, makes the hormone levels rise, turns on the correct faucets, and only then can we even really consider having sex, and sometimes our brain still fights against it. You have to turn on every part of a woman, brain and body both. Once our body is hot, you simply have to be careful not to trigger our brain! You don't want to do anything that makes us think about what we are doing. We need our instincts to take over in the same ways that your own do to you.

I once told someone that I was dating that I find it a complete turn-off when he acted like we might be having sex. I told him that if he acts like he expects it that it will never happen. Little did I know that he took that to heart and applied it in the rest of his life. 15 years later he came to me and thanked me for that bit of advice. He told me that he had been able to have sex with some women that no one else could get into bed, simply because he knew how to just 'be there' for it. He said it had helped him on countless occasions.

Likewise, understand that human beings don't want to feel like we are missing out on something. So graciously allowing a woman to say NO actually makes us want you MORE. It has gotten me to change my mind. Being told, 'no worries, we can just do what you want' made me want to do more than I had wanted before that was said!

If you have a specific example that you would like me to talk about, or help you with, please feel free to post a comment, or request a hub (depending upon how detailed you want to be, and how detailed of an answer you want).