Pro-Cat v. Pro-Dog Voters. Which are you?

The political divide between groups of citizens seems to be greater (meaning deeper, not better) than ever before. People are screaming at each other, hating each other, based on imagined viewpoints that may or may not hold true. Can you -- should you -- really judge a voter by the letter after their name?

For example, let's say the only thing you know about someone is the kind of pet they have. Think of the assumptions that go along with their choice of animal. Are they a "dog person" ("D") or are they a "cat person?" ("C"). What does D vs. C. tell us about their worldview? What about people who have both? Are they the equivalent of Independents?

This hub is a lighthearted look at prejudices. It's intended to stimulate thinking (perhaps debate) about how quickly we tend to rush to judgment of others based on perceived differences. In the end, can't we all just get along?

Well, I'll say it loud and proud: I'm PRO CAT!

That's right. I am pro-cat. I also vote. Does this mean I am a one-issue voter? Hardly! When was the last time you saw a referendum or proposition on the ballot related to cats?

Being pro-cat does, however, influence my viewpoint and my lifestyle. And my thinking and my life situation inform my politics. So one could say, by extension, that I carry my pro-cat views with me wherever I go, even into the polling place.

Pro-Cat and Proud! What exactly does it mean to be "pro-cat" anyway? It goes well beyond a personal preference for feline pets (four in my case -- Gremlin, Storm, Patty & Jimmy Mack). "Pro-cat" is a worldview that places the sanctity of cats above all other petforms. To be pro-cat is to eschew dogs, birds, fish, gerbils, hamsters, rabbits, guinea pigs and mice. It goes without saying that we cat people disdain snakes, since serpents are the devil incarnate.

As pertains to my pro-cat political views, I do tend to vote along "petty" lines. Which means that on 9 issues out of 10, dog people and I do not see snout to snout.

Harry Burns: You know how a year to a person is like seven years to a dog?

Sally Albright: Is one of us supposed to be a DOG in this scenario?

Harry Burns: Yes.

Sally Albright: Who is the dog?

Harry Burns: You are.

Sally Albright: I am? I am the dog? I AM THE DOG???

In this example from When Harry Met Sally we see how a seemingly innocent remark is really designed to provoke Sally.Yes, we are very sensitive creatures! To be mistaken for a "dog person" is the ultimate insult!

You may also remember the famous diner scene in which Sally speaks in tongues. A dog person would never, ever dream of doing that -- in public, no less!

To be a cat person is to see the world in black and white tuxedo -- sometimes orange and white stiped, or tortoise shell. Some would accuse us of furry thinking, but they're just mad because they're all wet and their coats stink.

What do cat people think of our nemeses on the dog side of the great pet debate (GPD)? Well, of course we respect their right to own whatever pet they choose (even if it is a mangy mutt with fleas). It's a free country, and what they do in the confines of their own homes is their business. The problem is, they have to flaunt their preferences under other people's noses. On sidewalks, in parks and on beaches across our great nation, dog people parade their dogs like they're superior or something, meanwhile following behind them with a pooper scooper. (eeewwww). Geez, you'd think someone would figure out a way to litter box train them (the dogs, not their owners).

The other problem many of us have with people in the pro-dog movement is they are so damned diverse. The American Kennel Club recognizes more than 150 breeds of dogs. And that doesn't count mixed breeds, which brings the total to upwards of 400. Compare this to only 39 breeds recognized by the Cat Fanciers' Association (CFA). And truth be told, the vast majority of cats are NOT purebreds, they are what's known as "domestic shorthairs" (or medium-hairs) .

Obviously, cats' is a much more inbred population -- which is just how we lilke it.

My Opinion of Dog People: Dog people are lazy and dependent. Why, they wouldn't even wear slippers or read the newspaper if their dogs didn't fetch them. They look at their dogs as companions, as "man's best friend." Well, I'm not a man, I'm a cat-owning woman. And my best friend is a human being (just as the good Lord intended). This closeness with pets is unnatural.

Are dog lovers bad people? Are they stupid people? Some of them are bad, some of them are stupid. I could go on a separate tirade about irresponsible pit bull owners. The main thing is, they just don't think like I think. Their entire value system is based on leashes, kibble and slobber.They demand blind loyalty from their dogs. In my house, my cats don't serve me, I serve them! A dear friend and fellow CP gave me a mug that reads: "It's my cat's world. I'm just here to open cans." Damn straight.

I don't pretend to understand dog people. I know I don't trust 'em. I just stick to my own kind, with people who agree that cats are divine creatures. As cat people go, I'm middle-of-the-road. Some CP are much more militant, as you can see below:

Dog People (as adapted for illustrative purposes from the classic Randy Newman song)

Dog People got no reason

Dog People got no reason

Dog People got no reason

To live

They got little hands

Little eyes

They walk around

Tellin' great big lies

They got little noses

And tiny little teeth

They wear platform shoes

On their nasty little feet

Well, I don't want no Dog People

Don't want no Dog People

Don't want no Dog People

`Round here

Dog People are just the same

As you and I

(A Fool Such As I)

All men are brothers

Until the day they die

(It's A Wonderful World)

Dog People got nobody

Dog People got nobody

Dog People got nobody

To love

They got little baby legs

That stand so low

You got to pick 'em up

Just to say hello

They got little cars

That go beep, beep, beep

They got little voices

Goin' peep, peep, peep

They got grubby little fingers

And dirty little minds

They're gonna get you every time

Well, I don't want no Dog People

Don't want no Dog people

Don't want no Dog People

'Round here

Being pro-cat or pro-dog is a fundamental ideology. We're either one way or the other. We may not be born that way, but we form our preferences and attachments early to align with our personality traits and our family values.

Is it possible for dog people and cat people to peacefully coexist and not fight like cats and dogs? Absolutely. Just remember which animal is the king of the beasts and act accordingly.