McCain Passed ME Over For Sarah Palin???
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When John McCain announced his running mate would be the governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, I was absolutely mortified. No, make that crushed. Chin-dragging-the-ground, pull-the-covers-over-my-head and shut-the-world-out crushed!
Why oh why didn't he pick me, I wailed!
I'm a nobody! I look great in a skirt! I can read lines from a Tele-Prompter!
Community organizing?
I've done community organizing....
Three neighbors and I organized our town's first ever, city-wide Halloween parade. In three weeks! Not some cheesy parade around the neighborhood, mind you, but the Real Deal - down Main Street, floats and marching bands, scout troops (Boy and Girl), state legislators and other officials in convertibles, a fire truck bringing up the rear with firemen tossing candy to the kiddies, and afterwards a party to award prizes for Best Costume and such. Prizes we gathered from local merchants. The parade became an annual event, for heavens sake! How could McCain possibly have missed that?
Executive experience? I have executive experience....
Granted, I only ran the party's state headquarters for two months while a new director was being chosen, but that's almost as long as Ms. Palin has been governor, right? Not to mention my secretary and I arranged every detail of that year's three-day Fall Convention, right down to making the centerpieces for all the banquet tables.
Alright, so I can't field dress a moose, or any other animal for that matter due to a pathological aversion to seeing the insides of any living (or recently breathing) thing.
But can Ms. Palin do a protocol-perfect seating chart on the fly for a dinner for several hundred people that begins in 90 minutes - in between showering and dressing for that dinner? Moi can.
And my Foreign Policy credentials are hands down better than hers. Living in Kansas, of course I can't see Russia from my backyard, silly! Only our pool...which might as well be the Bering Strait if you're a 3-year-old and jump in before Mom gets the water wings on.
But....are you ready?...my ex-husband is part Russian! When the Bolsheviks took over, his great-grandparents left Vladivostok and fled to San Francisco by way of Harbin, China. I've seen photos, so I can tell you Vladivostok, a seaport on the eastern end of Russia, is very much like San Francisco, only colder. Both Valerian and Nadejda were children of well-to-do merchants, hence the need to flee to avoid being butchered by the peasants. But no trudging across hundreds of miles of snow and frozen tundra a la Doctor Zhivago for these two. Nosirree. When it was time to get out of Dodge, they boarded a rather plush excursion train to Harbin, on the spur line built many years before the Revolution for the convenience of Vlad's upper classes, and checked into Harbin's version of the Ritz, which was originally built for the comfort of visiting Europeans, but at that time catered exclusively to ex-Vlads.
But enough of my intimate knowledge of Russia (and China) and a little more on my foreign policy expertise. I've had a passport since 2003! I saw Ireland from only 20,000 feet as the plane began the descent to Heathrow! I stood outside the gates to Downing Street and actually saw the door to No. 10! And I sat on a bench in Parliament Square while Parliament was in session!
I can also count to 9 in Spanish! I read the BBC News every morning! I can say the F-word in Italian! I've eaten in a French restaurant! One of my grandmothers was Swedish! And thanks to our own Robie2, I know people in Iceland! (Robie, btw, has had visitors in her home from Iceland and France and Denmark and I forget all where else, but she too was passed over for the VP spot. ??)
Lastly, just like Ms. Palin, I'm the mother of a member of the U.S. armed forces. My middle daughter is a Chief Petty Officer in the Navy, just returned from a 6-month cruise on an aircraft carrier. (Picture Mom, hand on heart, waving flag here.) Religion? My eldest daughter married a minister! Energy and environment? My youngest daughter has a PhD in Environmental Engineering!
A regular bunch of dream photo ops we would've been...completely ignored for a card-carrying member of the NRA with long legs and high cheekbones.
Deep sigh.
Oh wait!
Maybe...just maybe...it's because I'm a Democrat.
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Comments
Ahhh JamaGenee I think your qualifications are perfect and I just don't understand that McCain crowd--ROTFL You even have a Navy connection< see me singing Anchors Aweigh> On top of that your children are one quarter Russian which is lots better than being able to see Russia from your front porch. You beat me out cold, but it was nice of you to mention me as possible competition. Just for that you get a big thumbs up :-) Kansas rules!!!!!!!
Well I ran a Girl Scout troop successfully for 8 years, with at laeast 35 girls at any one time. Talk about having to plan, be a diplomat with the parents, and deal with foriegners whose kids knew what I was talking about but they didn't. This took a lot of negotiating, financial planning, deffusing fights and making sure the girls got a good education on everyday survival techniques. Plus my family comes from Russia so I should get some brownie points for that alone! I may not know how to dress a moose, but I sure can dress up an all American turkey dinner for Thanksgiving. Let's face it, a turkey is much more American than a moose! So don't feel bad, I got passed up too. Must have been all those petitions I signed for human rights, restoring our Constitution and impeaching everyone in Washingto if I had to guess. It certainly wasn't my credentials!
lol! I was upset myself. Can't believe I was overlooked. I can't see Russia either but I have eaten at the finest Russian restaurant in Manhattan. And I can count to 14 in spanish. So many fine American women were overlooked in the selection process! And they expect our vote?!? :)
JamaGenee.
Love it.
But you lack her main qualification: SHE'S FILLED WITH HATE, AND YOU OBVIOUSLY AREN'T.
It was a pleasure to read your piece. I didn't know there people like you in Kansas. Just Kidding! Just Kidding!
Yeah, me too! I married a Canadian, so our marriage is filled with foreign policies (and peace accords). I'm a cub scout leader too (like Sheryl above) and regularly negotiate, play a diplomat and more. While I can't dress a moose, I have to dress 4 young children every day. They certainly give the term "wildlife" new meaning. Oh, and I love Russian salad dressing. Yum. *sigh* maybe in 2012.
Always knew you SHOUD be in charge really proud to know you
Me too JamaGenee. I was disappointed I wasn't considered as his foreign policy advisor. After all, I am foreign.
It's obvious. You organised a HALLOWEEN parade. You are clearly a Satanist and will be among the first against the wall when the Rapture comes. Otherwise, you'd have been picked for sure.
JamaGenee, I am still laughing! So very real and funny that is going to be cruel for my neighbours due to my loud giggle. I loved your foreign politics expertize, which is far more extensive, that Sarah Palin's and also your community organizing skills, which had been successfully proven in Halloween parade. You are more than proficient in Europe's diplomatic affairs, because you've already got a close look to Downing street 10 doors (Buckingham Palace is not fashionable any more, these days). Maybe, I would only advise you to get into a fierce fight with flies and spiders around your house next weekend, and you could also buy some rat and mice poison, to show to John McCain and to Republican authorities that you don't think twice, when making decision of killing innocent wild animals, as Sarah Palin kills wolfs, bears and other wild animals. She also pays the killer about $150 per killed animal from the Alaska's budget, but you should not follow her deeds, to look much more budget friendly than Sarah Palin was.
Rochelle, getting a dress on a moose! Good one! But how right you are. Anyone who can do that can do other hard stuff too, like get polar bears removed from the endangered species list so they can be shot from the comfort of a helicopter.
Robie2, we'd *love* to see you singing "Anchors Aweigh". Make a video and I'll add it here. ;} btw, the phrase is "Rock Chalk Jayhawk!". Never made any sense to me either.
Amy Jane, being able to count to 14 in Spanish definitely qualifies you to be our next Ambassador to Spain, depending of course that you can name its head of state. If not, how 'bout Ambassador to Mexico? (It's a shorter commute.) Seriously tho, many fine, much more qualified women (and men) were overlooked in the selection process in favor of a young, pretty "maverick" to draw the crowds that McCain can't. But choosing a president is NOT the same as picking this season's "American Idol" winner. You'd think we would've learned that after 8 years of the "candidate most people would like to have a beer with".
FredrickBernanke, I *am too* filled with hate! I hate, hate, HATE that there are no moose in Kansas to put dresses on!
stephhicks, I've always maintained that any woman who can run a household, raise kids AND hold down a full-time job without live-in help is more than qualified to run a country. And being married to a Canadian definitely makes you a candidate for the State Department. Not because he's Canadian - I have Canadian friends - but because you recognize the wisdom of negotiation over force. Something sadly lacking in the current administration, and in the next one if McPalin wins.
mquingb, I'm proud to know you too, not to mention *thankful* that I survived childhhood at all, no thanks to your future spouse and our brothers making me the "test driver" of that soapbox racer that had no brakes and then pushing it down the driveway into the path of a bus! At least the steering worked! Nice to see you here!
Pssst, Chris... I don't know how to break this to you, but it's *because* you're a foreigner that you were passed over. However, sources inside the McCain campaign say they *could* overlook that if you know how to put a dress on a moose and can train Alaskan park rangers to do the same. With the influx of tourism Ms. Palin's candicacy is generating among the Religious Right, it just won't do to have female moose running around naked.
Oh Jonathan, satanism never crossed our minds! We *thought* we were organizing a fun Saturday morning for school children. But awarding the Grand Prize to the kid in the Big Bird costume could've had something to do with being passed over...and after that mother spent *days* pasting on those yellow feathers while watching Sesame Street to make sure she got it "just right". (Alas, we never did hear if she was able to get all the feathers off the kid.)
Brilliant ! :)
Thanks, Paraglider! Glad you enjoyed it!
solarshingles, I did sit on the steps of the Victoria Statue outside Buck Palace one Friday afternoon *when the Queen was in residence* - the flag was flying - but thought mentioning it in the hub would make me look *over*qualified. But drats! Maybe I should've included that I once smashed a *huge* wolf spider with a ball bat. No helicopter involved, tho. The rotors wouldn't fit through the kitchen door. But a wolf spider is wildlife, right?
It is difficult to understand your disappointment. Don't understand why anyone would want a job leading to POTUS.
That said, I must admit that I'd sure like to be an ex-President. All those goodies with no responsibilities!
The problem with all of you is this and it completely disqualifies you: YOU ARE INTELLIGENT, AND YOU DON'T LIE EVERYTIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
sorry, that means you are so unelectable, you couldn't get a smell. sniffle.
LOVED THIS JAMAGENE you did great!!
Look towards being Mitt Romney's running mate in 2012. Dreams can come true. ANYONE can be a political shill.
You Go, Girl! I nominate Jamagene. You covered the humorous, let me cover the serious. What if she actually became president? If I had any doubts about McCain, his selection sure clearly showed me a lot about his decision-making abilities.
This is a GREAT hub--brilliant-woven piece of writing.
You're DEFINITELY more qualified to be McCain's Vice President than McPalin is, JamaGenee...except as mariesue nailed it: you're intelligent but you don't lie every time you open your mouth. Other disqualifications for you were you are not a hypocrite, self-serving, spiteful, devoid of morals and decency for your fellow man and country and, as I repeat, seconding what mariesue said, YOU DO NOT LIE EVERY TIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
I stumbled here, but YOU are my new hero! This is the best page I think I've ever seen lol.....
best of luck to you!
Sky: "Ah, shucks", she says, blushing. ;} Thanks for the high praise!
Die'Dre", *of course* McCain picking such an unqualified running mate is a serious situation. Very serious. In case this Nightmare Duo "wins" - meaning the Repubs steal yet another election - we should all be packing a bag now and mapping an escape route to ABH (Anywhere But Here).
kscharles, qualifications didn't enter into this pick. Sarah "Whose Baby Is It Really?" Palin is nothing more than window dressing to snag any Religious Righters still in denial that they were *used* to put Bush in office in 2000 and again in 2004 to keep him there. All of us infinitely more qualified than SP need to direct our talents to making sure she *doesn't* become the first female VP, let alone "Madam President".
Sky: "Ah, shucks", she says, blushing. ;} Thanks for the high praise!
Die'Dre", *of course* McCain picking such an unqualified running mate is a serious situation. Very serious. In case this Nightmare Duo "wins" - meaning the Repubs steal yet another election - we should all be packing a bag now and mapping an escape route to ABH (Anywhere But Here).
kscharles, qualifications didn't enter into this pick. Sarah "Whose Baby Is It Really?" Palin is nothing more than window dressing to snag any Religious Righters still in denial that they were *used* to put Bush in office in 2000 and again in 2004 to keep him there. All of us who are infinitely more qualified than SP need to direct our talents to making sure she doesn't become the first female VP, let alone the first Madam President.
On the eve of the election, reading this joyous piece and the wonderful humorous commentary, lifts my spirits, so worn down by all the nasty drivel of the last several weeks. Thanks loads!!!!
Thanks to you too, vitaeb! Glad I could brighten your day. Your delightful comment certainly brightened mine. For what it's worth, I'm told New Zealand won't have *their* general election until Saturday, and they're as weary of campaigning as we are.
Note: here in the U.S. we only have one campaign-free year before it starts again for the 2010 mid-term congressional elections. There has to be a better way to practice this wonderful thing we call democracy. Maybe a ban on *any* campaigning until 6 weeks before the party conventions. Any candidate who can't tell us what we need to know in 6 weeks should probably pick a different line of work. ;)
If it makes you feel any better, I gave you some pretty serious consideration during my campaign.
ROFL! This is priceless! Priceless I say! :) Ok, you absolutely have my vote now that I know your ex-husband is part Russian AND you have a passport. :D It doesn't get any more serious than that right there. ;)
LOL @ B.T.! :D
B.T., knowing you seriously considered me *does* make me feel much better. Thanks for the vote of confidence! :)
Pam, I'm thrilled my rantings tickled your funny bone! Thrilled I say! :) Glad you enjoyed it!
That was absolutely fantastic!
Thanks, LondonGirl! Glad you enyoyed it!
you are very, very funny!
Thanks again, LG. I have moments of inspiration now and again, but Her Doggonit Governorship provided a HOURS of it! ;)
G'day JamaGenee I am on an advance head hunting party for the next Prime Minister of Australia. Now I hear tell that you can wear a skirt so therefore you are probably overqualified but never mind . Now if you can say the F word in Strine you are a shoe in. Would you be interested in the position now that you will not be President?
Did I tell you that I thought this hub is very funny and is a well written piece of literature. No I didn't think I did ;-[)
Doggonit, agvulpes, I was over at your hubs when you left this. The F word in Strine? It'd be the same in any language (except Italian), right? Wow, I can be the next PM of Oz! Much better than VP any day. lol Thanks for the kudos (she says, blushing). Oh right - you didn't tell me, so thanks aren't necessary. lol
Yeah Mate I saw you playing around with my Hubs so I thought I would sneak over here and play with yours. Hubs that is!
btw I really do think you have nice Hubs. ;-[)
Drats! Did you see me looking at Misty's tits too??? Don't you have some snaggers to barbie? ROTFL!
Seriously now - tehee - I *have* to call it a night. Yes it's night here in Oz Land, but I'll be over to play with your new hubs...uh, hub...tomorrow evening. Meanwhile, you might take a gander at mine (about marijuana), but be forewarned it's NOT funny. 'Night....
How the heck is Palin a trickster?
johnb0127, the poster that contains the word "trickster" was from an Alaskans Against Palin rally held weeks before the last election. This hub was - and still is - intended to be nothing but a bit of political humor, and not an open forum for OR against Ms. Palin.
Obviously at least one person at that rally considered her a "trickster" and made a poster that said so. I used it here because the first two lines reflected my own sentiments about her at the time. Thanks for stopping by.
Happy Anniversary, friend. You've been 365 days on HubPages, making them better, funnier, smarter. Thought I'd read one of your hubs I hadn't got to yet - and this was a damned good choice. You are a wickedly witty, warm, wise, and wonderful woman! (Would you whisper to me how to say the F word in Italian, please?)
No, but I'll email it to you. lolololo! Thanks for the Happy Happy. How time flies!
oh how i wish i had read this earlier -- but oh how glad i am to have finally read it -- this is beyond superb; it is inspired. Truly inspired. and so funny that i can hardly type.
I'm with MindField and Teresa -- this is wickedly funny, and inspired.
All I can say is it's a damned good thing McCain didn't pick you over Sarah Palin. He probably would have won!
Happy 1 year on HP. That's way cool. MM
Thank you, Teresa and MM. Amazing what one can write "at death's door" (a week into a Cold From Haedes)! But then there was very little about the Wasilla Barbie that didn't invite razor sharp satire! lol!
And thanks for the Happy Hubyear, MM! Seems like only yesterday that I joined!
Happy Hub year JamaGenee! I know why McCain never picked you. Did you forget to send him a picture of you in a bathing suit wearing high heels. I also think it was a requirement that you were not allowed to read any news magazines if you were to be VP at least that is what I got out of the Palin interview with Katie Couric.
Oh Well, You would not have wanted the job anyway all she would have got to do would have been to stand around in her bathing suit and high heels and shoot at any defensless animal that happened to walk by.:-) Another excellent hub JamaGenee, I would have voted for you.
Drats! I forgot to send the swimsuit and heels pic! Think I left it in the news mag I was reading. lol! Nice to know, tho, you would've voted for me, Whikat. Thanks! ;D
Jama,
How could you be selected when you still think that Africa is a continent! Great hub though! :)
nazishnasim, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
lol - This is hilarious. Wish I had found it during election time - I was getting worried because there were a fair number of Palin is exactly what we need hubs.
I will bookmark this for 2012 - hope I don't need it :)
lol! Aya, I too hope we don't need this hub as a reminder in 2012. As long as Tina Fey is alive, I think we're safe. ;}
I'm sure right about now mccain is sorry too. better luck next time. Would you really want that job? You sound too smart for that.
thinking, I don't know why *anybody* would want the job! ;D
JamaGenee, I agree that this is wickedly funny, though I am reading it so late that the game is over. I believe that you weren't chosen due to the fact that you obviously (or you would have mentioned it) do not look enough like Tina Fey though you both have fabulous skill in writing humor.
Well thank you, Connie! Funny you should mention that *I* didn't mention looking like Super Sarah. I almost put in that I do/did/could, but didn't want to play the Looks Card. After all, I had all those other fabulous qualifications! lol!
btw, I watched 30 Rock the other night. Thought Tina Fey didn't look like herself - or maybe I just got used to seeing her as the Wasilla Nightmare!
I've been chuckling all day because Obama gave the commencement address at the Naval Academy, and McCain's son was among the graduates. Papa McC, of course, was in the audience, no doubt thinking he should've been at the podium instead. teeheee
JamaGenee, a little late in the day to read this but it is still funny - you probably were not chozen because maybe you read the occasional newspaper or magazine and you don't have a knocked up daughter and you don't believe that God created the world 5,000 years ago. Oh, I forgot. You're a Democrat. (never mind)
Dolores, I forgot most of it as soon as it was published. So when I had to re-read it recently to reply to something a commenter said, I practically fell off the chair laughing! Not to toot my own horn, but it's one of those rare pieces that even past its sale date is still hilarious. Glad you enjoyed! ;D
JamaGenee, love the hub. You're writing is clever and witty. I truly enjoyed this one. I have to agree, how John McCain picked Palin over you remains a mystery!
Be well.
Rochelle Frank says:
16 months ago
I dunno JamaGeenee-- I think you make some very valid points here. She may habe you beat on the mosse -dressing thing, though. Anyone who can get a dress on a moose can do other hard stuff. She's got my vote-- unless you can change parties and attract the attention of the GOP.