Movie Spoiler - Men Who Stare at Goats

George Clooney takes time out from vilifying George Bush in George W. Bush Battles Jesus Christ and lobbying the Bush Administration for aid to Darfur to portray Lyn Cassady in Men Who Stare at Goats. Cassady uses his telekinetic powers to advance the plot for 94 minutes. The world doesn't get saved, but Clooney finds yet another vehicle for his dreamy mien.

It's generally a bad thing when your wife abandons you for your boss, but few of us find ourselves in a war zone attempting to compensate. Ewan McGregor plays Bob Wilton in just such a predicament. Somehow Wilton hooks up with super trooper Cassady. The two embark on a series of road adventures worthy of Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin.

A desert is a lonely empty place. Imagine a huge sandbox as big as New Jersey but with more redeeming social value. Random wandering in a desert usually results in death, or at least really bad sunburn. Our heroes manage to run into a seemingly endless stream of old friends, old foes, and mysterious transdimensional epic mirages. Imagine what they could have accomplished with an actual plan in mind. These guys should look for Jimmy Hoffa next time.

No goats were harmed in the making of this film. Unfortunately, one emu was emotionally scarred.

Any Hollywood production company worthy of an Obama campaign commercial always has a sequel in the works. Men Who Stare at Goats must be worthy of a spin-off or three...

Men Who Glare at Stoats: Black Ops specialist Lyn Cassady takes the next logical step to further his quadruped-killing skills.

Men Who Share their Coats: Highly trained undercover agent Lyn Cassady uses his telekinetic powers to increase federal funding for homeless shelters.

Men Who Sow Wild Oats: Secret Agent Lyn Cassady sets sail on a singles-only cruise.

Men Who Don't Take Notes: 007 Lyn Cassady moonlights as an adjunct instructor at a community college.

Men Whose Hair Gets Votes: Master of Espionage Lyn Cassady comes in from the cold and runs for Congress.