The 5 Worst Remakes Ever
71
Sometimes Hollywood hits one out of the ballpark and lands a blockbuster. This happens with both original and remade scripts. Unfortunately, a brilliant remake isn’t all that common an occurrence. Particularly when the originally is already pretty snazzy.
In recent years, I’ve come across some pretty crappy remakes that just made me shake my head. Here they are, in no particular order.
1. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Starring Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, etc. The original flick, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, was one of my faves as a kid. Gene Wilder was fantastic. Yes, it was a little cheesy, but it was also great. So I was really excited when I found out the new version was coming. The effects looked superb, and I was eager to get to the theater. To be honest, it started out pretty well. All of the actors played their parts brilliantly – except for Depp. His rendition of Willy Wonka was just creepy. His social interaction was disturbing and I found myself wrinkling up my nose. I was very relieved when this film ended.
2. Planet of the Apes (2001)
Mark Wahlberg, Helena Bonham Carter, Tim Roth. (Hmm, Ms. Carter is making this list twice!) Truth be told, I was never a big fan of the original, but I luurve me some Mark Wahlberg, so I was well ready to see this one. In terms of effects, props, etc, it was top class. Brilliant, really. The acting was excellent as well – except for Wahlberg. You only have to see one of his many films to know he’s a great actor. But not in this one. His character was completely devoid of dimension. He came across like a robot, really. I couldn’t sympathize with him on any level, it was too boring.
3. Shaft (2001)
Samuel L. Jackson, at the peak of his overexposure. Hottie Christian Bale is in there, too, and that’s the only redeeming feature. Jackson is a good actor and has been fantastic in many roles, but I didn’t buy him as Shaft. The character just seemed to be trying too hard. Busta Rhymes and Vanessa Williams also star. Not exactly Hollywood royalty, if you know what I’m saying.
4. Meet Joe Black (1998)
Anthony Hopkins, Brad Pitt. This was actually the second remake of the 1934 film. I guess someone thought Pitt would be able to pull this off. Instead, his portrayal of the grim reaper came across as robotic. Not as bad as Wahlberg up there, but pretty close. I didn’t have much interest in his character. Anthony Hopkins, on the other hand, was great. But then, how could he not be? Claire Forliani is pretty good, too – but Pitt kind of ruins it for everyone. Good filming, interesting story, bad Pitt.
5. Vanilla Sky (2001)
Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Penelope Cruz. I was psyched to see this one. It looked very hip when I saw the previews. You can imagine my disappointment when I found out you had to be on LSD in order for it to make sense. It was just bizarre. I suppose the acting was good – it certainly wasn’t bad. But it was confusing and I had a headache by the time it was done. My head still hurts when I think of the 3 of them together.
--
That’s my list of the 5 worst remakes ever made. If you liked any of these, do leave me a comment, I will be fascinated to hear why!
xx Isabella
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
Wot! I never knew they redid the Shining!! That would have been on this list for sure!
mmmmm....marky mark....mmmm.....
Didn't know Christain Bale was in Shaft...I guess there is a reason to watch that one.
I only saw #2, #4, and #5 and didn't like them so I'll bet your judgement is pretty good on the others.
I liked Meet Joe Black with Hopkins and Pitt. Because of it's length it's a bit drawn out and the second time I saw it, it was too slow. Mind you I never saw the first version so I can't compair notes. I had the same reaction to Vanilla Sky as you - I left the cinema wondering what just happened! I didn't know this was a remake though. I'm not a movie buff.
Damn. That Willy Wonka remake was on my list. I never got around to seeing it, and now I guess I'm glad I didn't. Didn't know Meet Joe Black was a remake - now the original is on my list! The Hopkins/Pitt one wasn't terrible, but Brad was a bit ho-hum. I think I saw what he was going for, but it just didn't come across. Then again, I think he seems wooden in most of his movies to begin with (except Thelma and Louise - he was more animated there. Oh! And Kalifornia, that was just something else, loved the gross snorting sound he made ...)
Nothing could possibly compare to The Shining with Nicholson. The remake did stick to the book a bit more closely, but the original is definitely the best. The music, the creepy girls, the Nicholson.
Seeley - Hawt, isnt he??
Fret - Believe it!!
Jewels - Well Im not a Pitt fan so maybe thats part of it.. Vanilla Sky was awful though, I agree!!
Melissa - I couldn't even watch the whole thing! And again I had no idea there was a Shining remake - that is just weird.
Great hub it is true, they are worst remakes. Only one I could think of, it is "Mostly Martha" movie which was a very good European movie, the new one "New Reservations" by Catherine Zeta Jones. I just the trailer it looks awful, the original one was much better.
Hmm.. I'll have to google that one, Cgull!
I agree with most but not with charlie and the chocolate factory it was fuuny and johnny depp did a great job
How about disneys stupid remake of AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS and making it into a stupid comedy or even remaking their classics INCREDIBLE JOURNEY and THAT DARN CAT and throwing in extremily stupid pet tricks
actually i completely agree with your views on these remakes , but i am afraid i have to contradict your view on charlie and the chocolate factory . I actually felt it was quite good piece of work though Johnny depps acting was quite irritating at times.
I liked "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" because it was closer to the book, and I didn't see it so much as a remake of the original movie, as an independent look at a movie based closer on Dahl's books - which most of the time were all very creepy, even when they were "children's stories." For that reason I enjoyed it, because I wasn't looking to compare it - and I tend to like black comedies and creepier movies, so Tim Burton's take on the Dahl book hit me right. Agree with the rest of the list, though :)
The stupid remake of THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL and using this GLOBAL WARMING bunk to give warning FRANKLY KLATTU and GORT should return to earth and wreck hollywood and then ruin the home of the movies stupid director
Johnny Depp in CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY he is abslutly repulsive at least with GENE WILDER we got that terrif song THE CANDYMAN and disney remaking their classics INDREDIBLE JOURNEY and THAT DARN CAT and spocing them up with STUPID PET TRICKS i mean they didnt even use the same type pets from the origional versions No wonder they flopped














Veronica says:
2 years ago
Wow this was a fun Hub. I totally agree about Shaft and Planet of the Apes! I thought I was alone.
I really liked Vanilla Sky though, Penlope was in both and was pretty consistant, but Tom Cruise as usual was not my idea of good. Ryan Gosling or Christian Bale would have been so much better.
I have to add one! WORST remake ever: The Shining. Who the hell woke up one morning and said, "Jack Nicholson? Yeah, not so much. It would be so much better with that dude from Wings."
I think the original Shining is one of the best horror movies ever. Why mess with it.