I am not married.  I once was.  Often, I think that I would never want to do it again.  I tell myself, I am never getting married again!!  Other times, I think about how nice it would be to have that commitment again, to know that someone will be there for me.  I am in a great relationship right now, and both of us have been married, and both of us have been divorced. 

Thinking of getting married again is a scary prospect, that both of us have talked about.  Neither one of us had a great experience the first time around, so why get married?  I haven't decided one way or the other yet, but in my head, I have a dream.  A dream of what my wedding would be like IF I ever did it again.

I made a lot of mistakes there, as well.  I worried about everything too much.  Every little detail.  It was too much for me to handle, and aside from the help I got from my mother, I had to do it all on my own.  My wedding was good, but far from perfect, and if I do get the chance to get married again, I would do a lot of things differently.

 My wedding ceremony was beautiful, don't get me wrong.  The church we got married in was gorgeous!  It was an older church with ornate details, and wood pews, and stained glass windows.  It really was beautiful.  The flowers were great, but they seemed small and barely noticeable in the huge chuch.  The pastor who performed the ceremony was a wonderful man, but he didn't really know us.  He knew my aunt and her family, but I didn't attend that church.

The music was lovely, except for the fact that the organist didn't show up to the rehersal, so I had no idea when I was supposed to walk in, and I walked in too early, to the wrong music.  I also didn't have a lot of knowledge of classical music at the time, and would have picked different music. 

Then there was the matter of the bubbles.  I had bought packs of wedding bubbles for the guests to blow as we came out of the church.  I had forgot them, and realized this as I was kneeling in front of the pastor, at the altar of the church, and I said, "Oh, shit!"  Thankfully, it wasn't very loud.  I don't know if anyone heard me, or not. 

If I ever get married again, I am going to relax!  I am not going to take every little detail so seriously.  I want to get married on the beach.  This is a lot easier to do in Florida than it is in Illinois.  I would love to have a good friend or family member perform the ceremony, someone who really knows me.  I want a simple dress, nothing fancy, gorgeous flowers, and beautiful music.  I won't worry as much about offending this distant cousin, or that dear friend of my father's that just HAS to be there.  It will be small, intimate and simple. 

I will not forget anything, either.  Because I will not need as much.  Just me, the love of my life, and my dress and flowers.  I will ask for help, and delegate responsibilities to those that are there to help me.  I don't need to put all the weight on my shoulders. 

 My reception was a nightmare!!  Plain and simple.  The food was wrong, the tables were not set as had been stated in the contract, they forgot the champagne, and they didn't do anything that they had promised.  I had to fight with the reception site just to get in their to decorate.  They waited until that day to clean, and I had to argue with them to let me in.  They said, "Don't worry about it!  Just leave everything here and we will take care of it."  Well, that never happened, either. 

Problems with the reception site aside, there were more problems.  For starters, never hire a family member to do your wedding photography!  She is a photographer, and does weddings.  The pictures turned out beautifully, but I didn't get all that I wanted.  My grandmother on my mother's side wanted a family picture before she left, but the photographer never got to it until after my grandmother had left.  I spent most of the reception getting my picture taken because she had shown up late that morning, before the ceremony, and we never got those pictures out of the way. 

So, never hire a family member to do your wedding photography, and never, NEVER ask a friend to DJ your wedding, unless you completely trust them, and they are actually an experienced DJ!!!  We were trying to cut costs, and my fiance at the time, suggested that his friend could do it.  I OK'ed it, gave his friend a list of what I wanted, and hoped for the best.  It started out fine.  He played the songs I wanted him to for certain dances.  After that, it went downhill, fast!!  He started playing strange, inappropriate music, no one was dancing, and the whole thing was a mess.  I was upset.  Several members of my family came up to me and commented.  I was mortified.  I said something, but by that point, a lot of people had left. 

My second time will be far different.  I will spend the extra money on the things that are important, and not worry about the other stuff.  I want a simple, fun, laid back reception.  No fancy clothes, fancy table settings or any of that.  I want something classy and beautiful, but simple and relaxed.  Maybe an outdoor reception with flowers and candlelight.  I will hire an actual DJ, unless I can talk my step-dad into doing it.  Now that he has discovered how easy it is to DJ with a computer, he may be willing.  One little laptop instead of all of those CD's makes his job a lot easier. 

I want the guest list to be simpler, as well.  I hardly speak to half of my extended family, and don't really need to invite my mom's second cousin, or that friend of my grandmother who I haven't seen since she babysat me when I was five.  I just want my close family and my closest friends.