P.S. I still love you - Part 2

Dear Natasha,

I know I have disappointed you alot in these 3 years. You had certain expectations from me which I have failed to fulfill.

I know Iam not the kind of guy women dream of. Iam boring, absentminded and workaholic. I admit today that I somehow took our marriage for granted.

But today I feel that my own negligence is costing my marriage. I cannot allow it deteriorate further. I know I have let you down but today through this letter I want to tell you how much I love you and how much you mean to my life.

3 years have gone by but it hasn’t made me change the way I look at you; on the contrary, the desire to love you and to have you all to myself grows bigger and bigger with every passage of time. Today I may fall short of poetic knowledge but my feelings will speak.

To know that you exist in my life is a fountain of joy and agony for me. Your presence lightens up my day, but the distance I created between us deeply saddens my heart.

I wish I had an algorithm which would have told me the ways I could have been close to you right from day 1 of our marriage, to show you my affection in the most companionable way and to feel your presence as something more natural. But marriage is not about algorithms or formulas. You learn as you move along.

If love is such a celebrated feeling, the pain that I have inflicted on both of us is the most horrible one.

I know I have been too mechanical in bed, but it was only due to my inhibitions. I have always enjoyed your presence, your intimacy, the cuteness and fragility of your gestures, and your boldness in bed. Your skin gives me all the gratification when it touches mine

I have been a loner, because I have dedicated my life to work. I have missed much in life because I did not have a companion, a friend, someone whom I could speak my heart out to. You are the companion that I have desired for so long. You are the friend with whom I want to share my innermost feelings with. You have been a loving and supportive wife to me. I will go all out to be a loving and supportive husband to you. I want to help you carry life's burdens with élan and encourage you in the best way I can. I want you Natasha to achieve all your dreams you have set for yourself to achieve.

Natasha, I want to be your eyes so that if tomorrow you miss out on a beautiful thing, I will see it for you and you will feel it. I want to be your ears so that if some bad things are said you shouldn’t get disturbed. I want to be your hands so that tomorrow if you are searching that salt box in kitchen and if your hands don’t reach there, I will get it for you. I want to be your fingers so that tomorrow when we get old, I will be able to cut your hair from your nose. I want to be your legs so that if tomorrow if you are tired and not able to walk, I will take you in my arms and carry you to your destination.

Natasha, I love the way you smile at me when Iam feeling down. I love the way you keep pestering me for attending the parties you organize, I love the way your eyebrows become big when you argue with me, I love that you are last person to speak to before I go to sleep and first person to see when I get up in the morning.

Natasha, I adore you from the bottom of my heart and you are God’s most beautiful creation till date. If today God asks me to choose between Miss world, Miss universe and you, I will select you because you are my world and universe. You are the most beautiful, sweet and amazing thing that could have happened to me, and Iam blessed to have you in my life. If the reason why I feel the way I feel is because of you, I can only give back by devoting you all my love, respect, attention and care by dedicating you the deepest and truest of loves, and by making myself accessible for anything you may want or need.

When I think about you, I feel like I have everything a man could wish for; a beautiful wife and even a better cook. Yes Natasha you have prepared some of the best food I have ever had. I will fall sick if I don’t eat food prepared by you.

May life keep on blessing us with each other’s company. May our existence be filled with love, fondness, care and gentleness you give. May I start to dedicate you with what’s most heartfelt and best in me.

Now that I have declared my love to you, I hope you wont look apathetically at me.I don’t know if this letter will change the way you feel for me, but I feel somewhat thrilled for having clearly expressed my feelings I had for you for such a long time.

Now unless and until you find a guy who loves you and praises your cooking style the way I do, I wont divorce you.

P.S. I still Love you and will do so till death do us part.

Your Loving Husband,

Arvind

The clock struck 6a.m. and the alarm went off which made Natasha get up. She saw a letter lying besides her. She opened it and started reading. As she was reading her eyes became moist. Once she finished reading it, she saw Arvind, who was sitting on the couch next to their bed. He smiled at her and asked her “Tell me what is so beautiful about this morning?” Natasha replied ”Your letter”. Arvind smiled and said “No my dear, its not my letter, its the glow on your face that I can see today. I have been an insensitive man who could not understand his woman, but Natasha you have made me realize what I have been missing since years. I regret the fact that I have wasted 3 years to say what I should have said on day 1. I immersed myself so much in work that I forgot that I have a beautiful wife back home. You give me this sense of belonging and Im truly proud to have you in my life. Iam at peace with myself and this is because I know you are there for me. My soul is filled with joy and happiness whenever you smile and your smile is far more valuable than 1000’s of deals which I do and the dollars that I have earned till date.” Tears were rolling down Natasha’s cheek.

“What took you so long to express yourself Arvind?” Natasha asked in a choked voice. Arvind looked in her eyes blinked once and replied “ You know Iam not that good when it comes to expressing feelings”. Natasha hugged Arvind and said “You are simply the best Arvind. Look so beautifully you have expressed yourself. How can I not love you?

Arvind looked in her eyes and asked “Natasha, will God be angry on me?” Natasha was surprised to hear this question and asked Arvind “What for?” Arvind replied ”I love you more than HE does” Natasha hugged him again as tears continued to come down her cheeks and she whispered ”HE wont be angry”.

"Start packing your bags Natasha, I have booked our tickets to Paris. We will be leaving on Sunday for 2 weeks”

She Kissed him and said “Arvind I love you”. “I love you too Natasha”

To be Contd...

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