Quiz: Do You Have An Addiction To Lingerie?
Still not enough?
As much as I love lingerie, even I have to admit that lingerie addiction is nasty. If not kept under control, lingerie can ruin lives. Many a sad man and woman has taken their lingerie addiction to such extremes that when it reached its peak, and they were discovered by neighbors, friends, or loved ones in a state of extreme distress, they had to have an entire wall of their house taken down in order to remove them, swaddled from head to toe in all manners of lingerie, with items of undergarmentary pouring out of their home onto the lawn and surrounding houses.
If you want to avoid a lace covered ride on a forklift to the hospital, evaluate your lingerie addiction now using our handy dandy lingerie addictometer!
I buy lingerie:
A) When I have to. My last pair of panties has a hole in the crotch, but I plan to wear them back to front until they wear out before I go to the store for more.
B) When the mood strikes. Occasionally I'll go to the store and just go mad, buying all sorts of pieces of lingerie. My shopping trip normally ends when I am laden to the point I can no longer carry any more in my hands or teeth.
C) All the time. I am no longer allowed access to my personal accounts because I spent the mortgage payments for the last 6 months on the entire Victoria's Secret catalog. Fortunately foreclosures no longer have the stigma they once had, and I have been able to shift my wife and children into the space under my desk at work.
I wear lingerie:
A) Sometimes. Actually, almost never. I find it restricts my natural movements, which should be free and dangling.
B) Quite often. I do make exceptions for showering and other activities associated with personal hygiene, such as washing.
C) Never, oh never! I've developed a technique where I fill a bath full of warm water, sprinkle detergent and fabric softener inside, and then just wallow around like an elephant seal until my toes go wrinkly. Then I suspend myself on a specially designed drying rack and wait to dry.
Answers:
A's You don't have a lingerie addiction, you may however, be a filthy hippy.
B's You are a healthy, well adjusted person, congratulations! (Now, where did you hide the bodies?)
C's Your ingenuity is to be praised, but professional help may assist you to live a life not entirely dominated by thoughts of lingerie. This may not seem like a positive thing at this point in your life, but mark my words, there will be a time in your life that you find yourself unable to get yourself out of a situation with only a winning smile and a thick roll of panties.
