Shameless Sexual Objectification of Politicians

Anger, intelligence, and wit are ultimately more seductive than zero percent body fat. -Maria Raha

With the world in danger of its greatest financial crisis since the Great Depression, American boys and girls still losing their limbs and their lives in a seemingly never-ending guerrilla war overseas, civil liberties under attack, the middle class under pressure, and the environment threatening more chaos by the day, sometimes you need to just sit back and be as shallow as humanly possible.

Fortunately, in this election year of 2008, that has rarely been easier.

Just look at McCain's choice for veep! The former beauty queen's debate performance received the following gushing praise from the National Review's Rich Lowry:

"I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, "Hey, I think she just winked at me." And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America."

The world of politics even collides bizarrely with the world of RPF with the planned opening of a website devoted to Sarah Palin-centered erotica.

All this attention on Palin, however, obscures the simple truth that Obama/Biden will see Republicans' VPILF and raise a PILF!

At least one female blogger said "Pfft!" to Palin's "starbursts":

I have complained on this blog about the frustration I feel when people talk about how Palin is hot. And so as I explain how I feel about Biden -- swoony, sweaty, Joe Fucking Biden! -- I have to check myself. To what extent is this a base physical response, a girlie crush indicative of nothing substantive and perhaps even somewhat embarrassing? Maybe. Possibly. Probably. At least a little bit.

But to what extent is it the euphoria of watching a man with real command of facts, details and history? The gratification of agreeing with the person at the microphone when you feel as though you have been robbed of a voice? The satisfaction of watching Biden knock Palin down -- not like an animal, but like a gentleman and a scholar? To what extent is it my throbbing boner (pardon the expression) for gentlemen and scholars? As one of my friends said this morning, he played the romantic hero. And I know it might sound weird, but as I watched him last night one word kept popping into my head, and that word was: virile.

A recent profile of Biden's wife Jill, sister Valerie, and other female relatives by Vogue magazine also made it abundantly clear why Biden's record on women's rights is so strong. Not only are these women beautiful, but they are also intelligent, opinionated, and independent-minded.

And as for Barack himself... well, they say a picture is worth a thousand words...

In not-quite-so-shallow objectification, it is helpful to remember that the man was a law professor, and although teacher-student is not my kink, incorrigible nerdhood is. Really, really is.

If you do not happen to be the sort of person, as I am, who used to print the drafts of my college papers up one-sided so I could write notes all over the front, all over the back, and, in some cases, even cut them up into pieces and tape them back together into an order that satisfied me, then you can only probably imagine what this picture of Obama's notes on the draft of one of his speeches did to me!

Ooh, daddy! It's getting hot in here!

Of course, we can't possibly forget Michelle either.

In fact, the only thing better than Barack and Michelle alone is Barack and Michelle together.

It's refreshing to see a political couple who so obviously just plain adore each other. And are probably having better sex than you too.

Please allow me to point out Mr. Scott Kleeb, Yale-educated ex-ranch hand turned Democratic candidate for Senate in Nebraska...