Silly Sayings

Some sayings that looked a bit silly interested me. So, I thought, why not make a collection of them to share with others?! So, here is a collection of some silly sayings. One more thing, all of these sayings are not actually silly, just give that silly impression at first sight.

A friend is someone who's there when he needs you.
Anon


A good pun is its own reword.
Unknown Author


Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.
M. Berle


Why can't women tell jokes? Because we marry them!
Kathy Lette


9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
Unknown Author


Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
Charles Schulz


I don´t like sex - so let´s get it over and done with!
Unknown Author


Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
Aldous Huxley


Seen it all - Done it all - Can´t remember most of it!
Unknown Author


There's no such thing as fun for the whole family.
Jerry Seinfeld


Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.
Unknown Author


All of my friends and I are crazy.That's what keeps us sane!
Unknown Author


Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Unknown Author


A man that is ashamed of passions that are natural and reasonable is generally proud of those that are shameful and silly.
Mary Wortley


Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature.
Unknown Author


Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.
Unknown Author


If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
Dick Cavett


Why is the word 'Abbreviation' so long?
Unknown Author


Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.
Unknown Author


You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!
Eddie Murphy (Shrek)


If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldn't need a broomstick to cling onto.
Frankie Boyle


A clear conscience is usually a sign of bad memory.
Unknown Author


A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
Evan Esar

Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
Frankie Boyle


A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx


We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Unknown Author


A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
Josh Billings


She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
Mae West


A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Erma Bombeck


By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
Mark Twain


I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Woody Allen


California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
Fred Allen


I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
Mitch Hedberg


He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor


I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
George Burns


If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
Quentin Crisp


The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Unknown Author


My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
Jay London


God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him.
Unknown Author


Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields


We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
George Bernard Shaw


Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin


The trouble with women is that they get all excited about nothing...and then marry him!
Cher


It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
Homer J Simpson.


Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly.
Sam Slick


Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
Clifton Fadiman.


A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.
Chauncey Mitchell Depew


I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Rodney Dangerfield


There’s a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me.
John Erskine


The more I know about men the more I like dogs.
Gloria Allred


Men are a luxury, not a necessity.
Cher


Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
Maryon Pearson