Soul Mates Revisited

For most hopeless romantics, the words “soul mate” conjure up the love of your life, the answer to your prayers; in short, THE ONE. That’s how Hollywood portrays it anyway. At the end of the movie, the protagonist finally realizes that there is one person who fits. That there is someone to share life viewpoints and is a complement in every way. But isn’t that an awfully tall order to live up to in the real world? And what about the rest of us who never gets to meet that extraordinary being? Are we condemned to be shut out of the gates of bliss forever?

Maybe not. I firmly believe that a soul mate is the person who can best match your core being. Someone who understands that you really do die a little bit when your beloved baseball team doesn’t get the championship. Because he/she does too. Someone who shares your macabre sense of humor, or delights in an unintended social faux pas and laughs as wickedly as you do. Someone who knows just what you are thinking without you having to say it. That would be a dream come true, right?

Now here’s the kicker: that someone could be anyone. What if your soul mate could be anybody? Not just the romantic lead in your fantasy love life. Like say, a parent. A sibling or child. Your neighbor. Your Tax Accountant. Not to get all pop culture here, but look at the syndicated television show “The Gilmore Girls”. That’s a Mother-Daughter team of true soul mates. Sure, they are merely characters on screen and we were just dissing Hollywood earlier for false expectations. But I KNOW Mother-Daughter teams like that. Or one anyway. And they have that rapport in real time. It’s lovely to witness that dynamic and they are all the more enriched by it.

Think about it. You wouldn’t have to try to make each new relationship into your everything. If you already have someone who can fulfill that every need (and you know you can give yourself everything you need to survive, right?), then you can relax in your dating life. That would take some of the pressure off, leaving you free to pursue fantastic life adventures like rock climbing and skydiving. Since you’re not reading romance novels anymore, you can finally take those French lessons and get yourself to Paris. No need to wait for Mr. Right. That makes you more attractive anyway, since you are this fiercely independent spirit who still remains open to new experiences - and who wouldn’t want to hang around that energy?
 
The point is you should never fixate on a romantic ideal like soul mates anyway. That isn’t fair to the person you are dating (or want to get to know).  By thinking outside the box, you are living a more dynamic and dimensional life. There’s a reason you and your brother like the same movies. You might be closer friends than you thought. At any rate, someone out there is your match so be thankful for all these delightful new opportunities that just opened up for you. And go look!

Bon Chance!