I'm Talking About Wives

I may be taken for a male chauvinist for writing this. I’m talking about wives. Sometimes they don't make sense. They say one thing but mean something else.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. When you take your wife shopping… and don’t lie, they make you go, don’t you ask how long it will take? They all have the same stock response. “Just a few minutes dear. All I need is…”, and name a few miscellaneous items.

Three hours and three shopping carts full, they return all smiles and no money to the car where you’ve been patiently twiddling your thumbs down to nubs. They bankrupted the family budget trying to save money on all the sales. “On Sale” seems to translate into “Carte Blanche”. For example, my wife once bought 20 boxes of salt because it was on sale. I rest my case.

Anyway, the announcement is made they need to pick up a few groceries. So it’s off to the super market. This usually brings a smile to the restless husband since he’s starving and can’t remember his last meal.

Inside, the inquisition begins with wifey getting your opinion of which tomatoes are the firmest and what meat is the freshest. Hubby doesn’t care at this point since he’s ready to eat it right then and there. She then proceeds to buy New York steaks and other fine gourmet delicacies

By this time the day is shot along with hubby’s nerves. However he perks right up when she asks the magical question, “What would you like for supper dear?” He naively answers, “How about some of that New York steak?”

Do you see where this is going? Of course you do. The answer invariably goes something like this. “Oh no dear! That’s for my bridge club meeting tomorrow. How about some of these tasty hot dogs? Anyway you need to go on a diet.”