The Best Halloween Party Invitations Free: Give Your Friends The Finger

Most of us - Americans anyway - remember our early years filled with Halloween happiness every October, 31st. The pirate costumes, the fairies, the hobo''s, the ballerina's or, best of all, a Hollywood movie monster. Then there was the trick-or-treat inventory, dumping your booty on the bedroom floor to admire your sugary, cavity inducing treasure. And mom's ubiquitous warning, "only 3 pieces tonight." Huh? Three pieces! Was she crazy or sumpthin'?

Sadly, the world is not what it was then. There are bad people out there. Stories of razor blades secreted within apples, needles nestled in candy bars awaiting the tender mouth, poison infused into gumballs and worse, set fear into the hearts of parents everywhere. Oh, it didn't deter us kids very much. We were willing to take our chances. "Step away from the bag, woman. I've got places to go and candy to eat." But in spite of our willingness to risk our very lives, the numbers of trick-or-treating kids began to dwindle, an atrophy that continues to this day.

Fortunately, all was not lost. Private Halloween parties began to replace the public "beggary en masse." Similarly, adult Halloween parties have grown in popularity, perhaps due to the youthful deprivation of having the second best holiday ripped from our "sugar shocked" mouths. Yes, adults are having more Halloween parties than ever before, and they are doing it up in ways that would have sent us - as youth - into a diabetic coma. It has almost become a contest to see who will give the best ghoulish gathering when it's their turn to play Host of Horror. I hope it's your turn, my friend, because I am here to help. And it all begins with the invitations. For yours, I would humbly suggest you give your friends the finger.

Giving the finger is easy and I will tell you how to do it, but you will also find a variety of original Halloween cards below which you can print, cut out, and then mail to your guest ghosts, either along with the finger or simply on their own. Evidence points to Martha Stewart as the first person to give the finger. She also instructed how to make the severed digits, but her way is a little complicated. Maybe intentionally because she also sells them. $12.99 for 6 with all the trimmings. I don't know about you, but unless they are actually Martha's real fingers, that seems a little pricey. You'd think she'd at least offer a 5 finger discount. Besides, at last check, they were sold out, so plan on making your own.

Tired of hearing, "Get your fingers out of your mouth!" Then make these edible marzipan fingers. Heck, you'll get your delicious fingers into everyone's mouth for a "treat" they'll never forget. Say "ahhh."

(Special thanks to Paraglider for this idea!)

Ingredients:

• 2 cups granulated sugar

• 1/8 tsp cream of tartar

• 4 cups ground almonds (or almond meal)

• 2 egg whites

• Powdered sugar for dusting

Preparation:

1. Prepare a workspace by sprinkling powdered sugar over a marble slab, wooden cutting board, or large baking sheet. Fill your sink or a large bowl with cold water.

2. Place the sugar and 2/3 cup water in a large heavy saucepan and heat gently, stirring, until the sugar dissolves.

3. Add the cream of tartar and turn up the heat. Bring to a boil and cover, boiling, for 3 minutes.

4. Uncover and boil until the temperature reaches soft-ball stage, 240 degrees on a candy thermometer.

5. Place the bottom of the saucepan in the cold water you've prepared, stirring the sugar mixture constantly until it becomes thick and creamy.

6. Stir in the ground almonds and the egg whites, then place back over low heat and stir for 2 minutes more until the mixture is thick.

7. Spoon the marzipan onto your prepared work surface, and turn it with a metal spatula until it cools down enough to touch.

8. Coat your hands in powdered sugar and begin to knead the marzipan, working it until it is smooth and pliant. Shape into fingers.

9. Your marzipan can now be used immediately or stored by wrapping it in plastic wrap and keeping it in an airtight container.

Get out a cutting board and a sharp cleaver. A really sharp cleaver. Use the cleaver to open a package of white sculpey clay, available at art supply stores, craft stores, or on the Internet. Take a small amount of clay and place it on the cutting board, rolling it out into a cigar shape. Shape it like your own index finger - hopefully still attached - adding the nail area and making knuckle lines with a toothpick. Flatten the bottom where the finger was figuratively severed. Repeat until you have enough fingers. Bake your fingers for 2 minutes according to package directions. Place on the cutting board to cool, taking care not to flip the fingers. You should be able to make about 15 severed fingers in 10 minutes if a friend lends a hand..

If desired, use a child's watercolor kit to "colorize" your fingers. Rub diluted black watercolor into the finger for a sickly, grey color, or give it a flesh tone. Add some red to the severed area. If it's a ladies finger, paint the nail either with red paint or nail polish. Make as many as you need. The clay will cost about $11.00. Martha's way is to purchase a rubber mold kit at stores as listed above, some quick-drying plaster, and make actual casts of your fingers. While it does produce a perfect replica of the real thing, this is messy, time consuming, and expensive when figured on a dollar to finger ratio. If you can't find white sculpey clay, look for any white oven-bake clay. These usually require a longer curing period (about 2 days) before baking, however.

There are also "toe-tags" for your fingers below. Simply punch a hole where indicated, run a thin red ribbon through the hole and tie to the finger as a "reminder" of your approaching party. Then place in a small cardboard or jewelry box - available at craft stores - and mail to your amputees, er....invitees. If you don't wish to send your fingers through the mail, you may want to let your fingers do the walking and deliver them by hand. Your friends will get the point and will surely attend your nail-biting evening of suspense. Or, simply use them as party favors, placing them in small gift bags along with candy for "takeaway" gifts.

The Halloween card sets below can be saved to your computer and will print 3 on a standard sheet of paper. They should be printed on photo paper or card stock, cut out, and then placed into a standard 6 ¼ envelopes (6 ¼ inches x 3 ½ inches), commonly available in stores everywhere. There is a style for everyone, whether you are giving the finger or not. Use and enjoy!