The Day I Learned an Important Parenting Lesson
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Mothering is a hard job.
Being a mother is not an easy job. Or, it doesn't come easy for me. I don't have the benefit of pulling from my own childhood, so I am learning this job one day at a time. And even though I have been a mom for ten years now, it does not get any easier.
I think we all say we are going to learn from our parents' mistakes and not be like them. But, realistically, it's what we have to pull from. So those things we hope we won't do like them, usually end up coming out at some point, and then we have to learn our lesson from it. That is what happened to me the other day.
A valuable lesson learned.
The other day my daughter walked over to help a friend pick up some spilled cereal. I was having one of those proud parent moments, feeling so happy about her willingness to help others. When I looked over, though, I noticed as she stooped down to pick up the dry cereal off the floor, the back of her skirt had inadvertently been pulled down.
I did the "Momma thing" and snapped my finger to try to get her attention, but she didn't hear me. Then I sort of whisper-yelled her name, but she still didn't hear me. So I told my son to walk over and tell her to turn around and look at me. But because he's always picking at her, she just shooed him away. So I did the unthinkable. I yelled her name out loud.
I got her attention....and everyone's in the room, too. As soon as I'd done it, I knew it was the wrong thing to do. She turned to look at me and when I told her to pull up her skirt, her face turned red. She immediately jumped up and came and sat down beside me and started crying. I had embarrassed her.
I could have melted into the floor. I felt so horrible. What kind of mother embarrasses their child?! I immediately went back to my own childhood, and recalled lots of similar experiences with my own mother. The feelings of humiliation and hurt came flooding back over me.
As I hugged my daughter and apologized, I wanted to cry with her. I wished I could have rewound time by five minutes and done things differently. But I couldn't. It was done.She forgave me and forgot about it (I think), but I am still kicking myself over the incident.
One thing is for sure, I learned my lesson that day. I know how I would handle the situation now if it ever occurs again. I might not be the best mother in the world, but I do know how to learn from my mistakes so I don't keep making them over and over.
Have you ever been mortified by your own parenting mistake?
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Comments
Thanks for your comment, RevLady. I've struggled with being a "good mom" since the birth of our first child. Ten years later I am slowly realizing that being a good mom means learning from experiences like this and taking it one day at a time. There's no such thing as a perfect mother. :)
Yes, I've done the embarrassing mom thing more than I can to admit. I once told my son he was cute while he was playing a soccer game (bad, bad idea). After 19 years of parenting, it does gets easier, but they still need us even after they move into the college dorms :)
I hope it gets easier, Jane! :) I guess we all have these moments.
Hope, God knows that I've had my moments of parenting embarrassement. I had sworn that I would parent differntly from my parents, but I find that the older I get the more I seem to be turning into my parents. I've had to stop myself in mid sentence sometimes because I find myself saying something that I hated hearing as a child.
Well, at least we are aware of the need to do things differently.
Your daughter understands that you mean well. Children do have a way of being more understanding than we give them credit for. Keep on being a consciuos parent.
LOL! It's good to know I'm not the only one that happens to, Dynamic. :)
Both hands up to you. Everything will be find.
RevLady says:
5 weeks ago
It is so wonderful of you to share your learning experience and frankly, you seem to be a great mother. Why? Because you immediately understood the affect it had on your child, and motivated by maternal love, you had the humility to apologize which I know meant a lot to your daughter. I hope other parents learn from your sharing that embarrassment does wound little hearts. And as you stated, no parent is perfect as no human being is perfect. But we grow as we learn from our mistakes. Thank you for this edifying hub.