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The Mysterious Midget of Amazon.com

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By jimmythejock


Jeff Bezos


The Mysterious Midget of Amazon.com

Everyone knows that in 1994 Jeff Bezos created the Company Amazon.com and launched the company on the internet in 1995, it was 10 years before Amazon actually started to make a profit, and everyone puts this down to the marketing skills of the before mentioned Jeff Bezos, he was even voted person of the year in 1999 by Time Magazine.

Sheer hard work, marketing skills and persistence are said to be the secret of Jeff's success, especially after the Internet bubble burst in the late 1990's,

But Jeff is hiding an even greater secret that is the true key to the Amazon.com success story.

When the dot com bubble burst, Jeff's life was turned upside down, everything that he had worked so hard to achieve was almost in ruins everything he touched would crumble like sand and run through his fingers.


The Mysterious Midget

sorry there is no camera fast enough to catch an image of the mysterious midget, he moves faster than a blink of the eye.
sorry there is no camera fast enough to catch an image of the mysterious midget, he moves faster than a blink of the eye.

The true secret of Jeff's Success

One January Morning in 1994, Jeff wandered down to the basement of his office building in Seattle, Washington, to get a moment of escape from the torture of his daily life, whilst there he thought he saw a figure sitting in the darkened corner watching him, he look again but there was nothing to see, it totally freaked him out, and he went down every day at the same time, just to see if the figure returned, on the fifth day he saw the sitting figure again. this time though the figure did not go away and Jeff slowly and fearfully approached the sitting figure, as he got closer, he realised that the mysterious figure was actually a small man not sitting but standing as tall as his 2 ft 3 inches allowed him, just as Jeff was about to ask him what he was doing here the midget spoke "Jeff I am here to help you" he said.


The Midgets Story

The midget gave Jeff a long spiel about how he had fled from the Amazon jungle five years before, where he had been a powerful medicine man and failed to save the Chief's life when he fell ill. He explained that after the chief died, the tribe wanted to kill him as revenge for not saving their leader.

After detailing his journey how he came to be in America and how he got to be in Seattle, he told Jeff that he saw the Amazon logo on this building and took it as a sign that he was to live there, and that he had been there for five years living in the shadows.

He went on to tell Jeff that since his arrival he had read every single book that had come in to the building in those five years and that he had gained the knowledge from every book that he had read. He then told Jeff to come down to the basement again at midnight, when the moon was full and blue in colour and wearing a purple hat with a red feather protruding from it.

At that the midget disappeared in the blink of an eye.


Blue Moon

Full Blue Moon Wearing a Purple Hat With a Protruding Red Feather

Strangely enough that very same night, the full moon was blue and the small cloud formation above the moon did resemble a purple hat with a protruding red feather.

Jeff headed to the basement, and met up with the Mysterious Midget, the midget then informed Jeff that he was going to give him the knowledge, he had learned in the last five years and that this knowledge would be the key to the future success of Amazon.com.

There was a blinding flash of red light and the pain in Jeffs Head was so severe that he passed out.

When he awoke the Midget was still there, he then told Jeff that whenever he needed help, he would always be there in the shadows for him that he would continue to read and gain knowledge and as he gained in knowledge, from this day, Jeff would also gain the knowledge through him.

In the year 2004 after his first encounter with the midget, Amazon posted its first profitable year and that profit has grown and grown every year since then

If you ever see Jeff in the street or in the store or anywhere at all, try not to blink and you may see the mysterious midget by his side.

The Midget Widget

It is said that you can download your own midget widget from Amazon.com, but only at midnight when there is a full blue moon wearing a purple hat with a protruding red feather, so keep an eye on the night sky it just may be the night your life changes forever.


Jeff Bezos was holding the midget but once again the camera is too slow

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Marisa Wright profile image

Marisa Wright  says:
2 years ago

Sorry I can't write a coherent comment - too busy laughing!

Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee  says:
2 years ago

Jimmy! If anyone could see me they would prepare the padded room. I'm sitting here by myself laughing my fool head off.

There many hubs here that are great but everyonce in a while there comes a gem....regards Zsuzsy

darkside profile image

darkside  says:
2 years ago

I've been giggling like an idiot reading this.

Marye Audet profile image

Marye Audet  says:
2 years ago

This needs a tea spew alert posted at the top.

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
2 years ago

You are waaaaay toooo silly.

stephhicks68 profile image

stephhicks68  says:
2 years ago

I am hysterically laughing. LOL and ROFL do not begin to describe.....

kpfingaz profile image

kpfingaz  says:
2 years ago

Hahaha.Yeah man this is really funny.

Kenny Wordsmith profile image

Kenny Wordsmith  says:
2 years ago

Why do you guys laugh? This is serious business, and I'm going to ask them for one!

Midget route to Giant Success!

Thanks for that poem in the forums and this hub, Jimmy!

Iðunn profile image

Iðunn  says:
2 years ago

hahaha, too funny jimmy. amazon midgets are the new iambic pentameter. :)

bloggerdollar profile image

bloggerdollar  says:
2 years ago

This Hub is total scam. How to upload the Amazon Midget still not explained :)

chabrenas profile image

chabrenas  says:
2 years ago

Bloody brilliant!

Prosperityman profile image

Prosperityman  says:
2 years ago

Ja,ja,ja muy entretenido! Te felicito.

jimmythejock profile image

jimmythejock  says:
2 years ago

thanks guys for your great comments, lol when i saw the forum thread, There was no way that i could pass up the oppertunity to write a hub based on the infamous Midget.......jimmy

Inspirepub profile image

Inspirepub  says:
2 years ago

This is so creative! I love the photo caption!

Jenny

robie2 profile image

robie2  says:
2 years ago

Can't wait for the next full moon--rotfl !!

Misha profile image

Misha  says:
2 years ago

Bva-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Thanks Jimmy!

Hovalis profile image

Hovalis  says:
2 years ago

Hee! I needed that laugn. :-)

Mystic Biscuit profile image

Mystic Biscuit  says:
2 years ago

Too fun!!! :-)

LdsNana-AskMormon profile image

LdsNana-AskMormon  says:
2 years ago

Jimmy-

I adore a witty mind!

tDMg

LdsNana-AskMormon

websurfpro  says:
2 years ago

Hehe I`ll be looking forward to find that midget on Amazon :D has Jeff ever told this story or did you make it up ? Nice hub

Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS  says:
2 years ago

Great discussion thread and wonderful hub.

I must say that a friend lived in an old house and saw a short man wearing a purple hat with a red feather, walking through the rooms and then the walls for 3 years until she moved elsewhere. She said he was a friendly spirit. :)

tagtopics profile image

tagtopics  says:
2 years ago

I just hope amazon are reading this - midgets : buy one get one free!

Rudra profile image

Rudra  says:
2 years ago

Looks like publicity stunts for them. Is it working?

Garry Nelson profile image

Garry Nelson  says:
2 years ago

Funny

jimmythejock profile image

jimmythejock  says:
2 years ago

thanks everyone, i still get a laugh when i read this one.....jimmy

jamestedmondson profile image

jamestedmondson  says:
2 years ago

Dang, that's a fast midget.

I had a similar experience, but the midget just told me to quit my job and start doing drugs.

Teresa McGurk profile image

Teresa McGurk  says:
7 months ago

you are a loony, ya know that? I love your sense of humor, and so would Bezos, I'm willing to bet.

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern  says:
2 months ago

Oh, I don't have a sense of humor, but that one almost cracked my shell.

:) That was very funny.

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Sorry Jeff

If You ever read this, please take it with the humor intended.

This page was inspired by a spelling mistake in the hubpages forums

http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/2567#post15726

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