Those Lessons They Never Taught Us in School

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By William F. Torpey


Riverfest 2007 Downtown Yonkers by the Hudson River
Riverfest 2007 Downtown Yonkers by the Hudson River
Hudson River Museum in Yonkers
Hudson River Museum in Yonkers

My late brother Don spent his formative years, as I did, on the streets of Yonkers, N.Y., during World War II and throughout the 1940s.

In those days, Yonkers -- known then as the City of Gracious Living -- was a relatively small municipality with few of the inner-city problems of its neighbor to the south, the Bronx.

It was just before the war, in the last days of the Great Depression, that the city began its downward slide. Throughout the war and for years afterward many of the old neighborhoods fell into decay; government-assisted housing projects were constructed in a number of neighborhoods, redevelopment took place on a huge scale, middle class areas suffered from "white flight," and many businesses closed.

But, to me, the most traumatic change of all was the demise of the efficient, pleasant, comfortable, ubiquitous trolley cars (which were replaced by buses.)

The city had some exclusive neighborhoods, mostly in north Yonkers and often overlooking the Hudson River and the Palisades in New Jersey. But, being poor, we lived in rough-and-tumble neighborhoods where many barely made it through the Depression and, when work became available after Pearl Harbor, toiled long hours in the defense plants.

My brother, being three years older than I, was swept up in the lifestyle of the streets. It was not uncommon in our neighborhood not to finish school. When he reached 16, Don gave it up; he dropped out of school and went to work.

For a variety of reasons, I was luckier than my brother; I finished high school and, eventually, after three years with Uncle Sam's Army, got my sheepskin from New York University.

While my brother was neither educated, in the formal sense, nor polished, he was, in many ways, a lot smarter than his younger brother.

He taught me many things I never learned in high school and college. He didn't cite Jefferson, Plato, Freud or Emily Post, he just took advantage of the abundance of common sense he was blessed with.

Often when I made a mistake, which was not infrequent, my brother would ask, not artfully but sincerely, "Didn't they teach you that in school?"

Amazingly, my answer was almost always, "No."

Over the years, his questions made me think. How is it that I spent all those years in school -- kindergarten, grammar school, high school, college -- and remain ignorant (no wisecracks, please) of so many different subjects. To be sure, there are a whole range of topics that I enjoy being ignorant about -- especially rock music, rock groups and psychedelic movies.

I missed a few days in school and showed up late even more often, and perhaps I was daydreaming on some occasions when knowledge was being offered, but there are many things I wish I knew more about.

You may have learned a lot more than I did in school -- my outside reading was limited to dime novels in those early days -- but I can list a wide variety of subjects I learned little or nothing about throughout my school years.

While I had little choice about what I learned in grammar school and high school, I must admit I learned a great deal at NYU (I hereby hold NYU harmless for any of my deficiencies.)

Believe it or not, I recall learning almost nothing about such simple things as table manners, etiquette, ethics (not the pedagogic kind, but the simple everyday kind.)

What little I learned over the years about flowers (I only know the simple kind like roses, lilacs and mistletoe) and trees (I would know the difference between an oak and a eucalyptus if I knew what a eucalyptus tree looks like) did not come from the schoolhouse.

There are a whole lot of fruits and vegetables in the supermarket that I couldn't begin to identify and myriad things about the world map that I couldn't tell you anything about.

It so happens that I studied management and marketing, finance and accounting at NYU, but in earlier grades I was taught some, but not a great deal, about savings accounts, stocks, bonds, local businesses (or any others for that matter.)

Through the years, I often wondered why we didn't study some of these, and other, topics. I recall, for instance, asking why we didn't learn about algebra and trigonometry; the answer was that these subjects would come later. Algebra did, trigonometry didn't.

After all these years of living in ignorance, I guess it's too late for an old geezer like me to worry about learning about the birds and flowers (I don't recall learning much about the birds and the bees, either) but for Don's sake, couldn't the nation's schools consider teaching kids some practical knowledge along with readin', 'riting and 'rithmetic?

This column was written as an "Editor's Notebook" for The Hour newspaper of Norwalk, Conn., on Dec. 19, 1992. I now write my views on a wide variety of topics on HubPages. You can, too. It's easy, and free! Get paid for writing about what you love, or whatever interests you!. HubPages makes the technical part easy. Make friends and get help on its active forum. Take a quick tour to see how easy it is to get started today Click Here -- To view my HubPages Profile Click Here


Old School Learning

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Peter M. Lopez profile image

Peter M. Lopez  says:
2 years ago

This is a nice hub, Torpley. You should be proud of it.

William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey  says:
2 years ago

Thanks, Peter, for your much-appreciated comment.

crisstar profile image

crisstar  says:
18 months ago

I can relate to "didn't they teach you that in school?". My mother only went up to second grade, but I graduated high school. When she ask me questions that I didn't know the answer to or if I cam across a surname I couldn't pronounce, she would utter that phrase.

Good hub William.

Corrisa

William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey  says:
18 months ago

Thanks for commenting, corrisa. When my brother asked that question, my answer was always, "No." My brother, like your mother, didn't need to go to high school to know how the world goes 'round. They had good, common sense.

trish1048 profile image

trish1048  says:
15 months ago

Hi William,

My mom quit school in 10th grade, due to being teased unmercifully about her speech defect.  She was a straight A student.  She took a job in a 5 & 10.  One day her teacher found her there and told her to get back to school.  She didn't.

She supported herself, and later our family, (along with my dad of course) by waitressing, then when that became too much she switched to bartending.  She did that for over 40 years.  She taught me more about life than I could ever learn in a book.  My mom was all about children.  Everyone loved her.  She taught me never to judge a book by its cover, how to make stuffed cabbage, to always be kind to people, to care about animals and the underdog.  I could go on and on.  My mom was one helluva a lady.  Despite her hardships, she inbued in me a sense of humor and the belief that life can be good.  For these and a million other things I will always be grateful.  BTW, she went back to school at age 53 and got her high school diploma :)

Thanks for sharing your story.

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom  says:
15 months ago

I love this Hub! There is so much information that is not taught in school. Financial things for one wasn't something I was familiar with when me and my husband first started out. I mean I knew I had bills that came in every month and had to pay them what I didn't know about was credit, how it worked, how to get it, and how to improve my credit score. This is something that needs to be taught. It can be so damaging to people for a long time if they do not know what they are doing. It's seems that today the credit card offers are given to anyone and especially college students who can't afford to pay their bills and the credit card companies know that the parents will have to pay the bill. Manners are another thing that need to be taught. It drives me crazy that kids don't seem to have good manners anymore. Thanks for writing this hub, it was great!

William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey  says:
15 months ago

As we have learned, Trish, there's a huge difference between "education" and intelligence and wisdom. Like your mom, my brother had great wisdom -- and a kind heart. Thanks for your kind comments.

Misha profile image

Misha  says:
15 months ago

I too keep asking myself the same question William. I don't know the answer, really. Great hub!

William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey  says:
15 months ago

Thanks, gwendymom. We were taught arithmetic, algebra and geometry in school, but, as you say, nothing about finances. I had a course in bookkeeping in high school and studied accounting in college, but somewhere along the line it would have been nice to learn something about the practical aspects of shopping, prices, paying bills, credit and investing. Years ago, manners were considered important. I hope the pendulum will swing back some day soon.

William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey  says:
15 months ago

Thanks, Misha. I often wish that somebody (private "think tanks" or government agencies) would take the time and effort to try to anticipate problems -- such as school curriculum -- instead of waiting until the problem becomes a crisis. In fact I wrote a column on the subject titled "Let's Press for a Public Commission."

Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1  says:
15 months ago

William,  my daughter just graduated from High School in May and was also inducted into the National Honor Society.  She did not learn some of the simple and practical things about everyday living.  We live in a district which is one of the best around supposedly in MA and she doesn't feel smart, just feels book crammed and over drilled.  Tracey was home for her first visit this weekend from College and said it is Heaven on Earth, nothing compared to high school. I was glad to hear that.  Loved your hub...thanks for sharing.

 

 

 

William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey  says:
15 months ago

I appreciate your comment, Dottie. If your daughter had not gone to college she would have gone through life thinking all education is like it was for her in high school. College certainly is far different from high school in many ways. As we accumulate knowledge through grammar school, high school and college, most of learn that the knowledge we don't have far outnumbers the knowledge we do have.

Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom  says:
15 months ago

So glad I stumbled onto this hub! Must agree, things I learned in school prepared me, for an imaginary life not a practical life (writing hubs, doing crossword puzzles and playing along with Jeopardy). There is something to be said for the School of Hard Knocks and common sense.

William, I loved the gentle way you wrote about your brother and your 'hood. My dad grew up in the Bronx. He has great stories from the streets. His stories from school are usually life lessons, not academic lessons.

BTW, I see you are now from Rockville Centre. I hail from Manhasset originally. NY rules!

William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey  says:
15 months ago

I'll take a degree from the School of Hard Knocks any day, Mighty Mom. Thanks for your perceptive and kind comments. Your father was only down the street from where I grew up -- in Yonkers. I'm sure our upbringing was very similar. I lived in Connecticut for many years, but there's no place like New York.

Teresa McGurk profile image

Teresa McGurk  says:
11 months ago

thoughtful hub. New York sounds like a helluva place to grow up.

William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey  says:
11 months ago

Despite growing up in Yonkers in the waning days of the Great Depression and during the stressful days of WW II, Teresa, I loved growing up there. But, by the time I was 16, my family moved us to Connecticut. Virtually all my friends and relatives joined us in fleeing the city. I think fondly of it now; it had its pros and cons.

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