Top 5 Kissing Mistakes
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This is being written for men. Partially because I’ve never kissed a woman, and partially because so many men are just so incredibly bad at kissing – and totally unaware of it. It’s absolutely amazing to me, that a man could reach 35 years of age and kiss as badly as he did in junior high school. I mean, people, this issue is totally pandemic. So much so, that many women deal with the problem by refusing to kiss their boyfriends more than occasionally.
Which leads him to think she’s a cold fish, when, in reality, he kisses like one. I’ve kissed quite a few men in my time (that is a literal statement and doesn’t mean I shagged all of them – though, to be sure, I’d have shagged a goodly number more if they hadn’t completely turned me off with their kissing) and I can tell you most men are total shite when it comes to French kissing. Here are the 5 most common mistakes the average man makes.
Tongue Shoving
This is not a joust, do not shove your tongue into a woman’s mouth and expect her to do something with it. Sooo many men do this, it’s incredible. You should enter slowly and then build up pressure; you don’t just thrust your tongue between her teeth and down her throat. It’s not sexy, I promise.
Teeth Cleaning
Hers, not yours. You don’t need to be gliding your tongue across the front, back or sides of my teeth. Did that mental image make you want to chuck? Let me tell you, the chuck factor is greatly amplified when you’re actually experiencing it. Please don’t.
Slobbering
When I was 17 I had an 18 year-old boyfriend who was a fabulous kisser. So much so, in fact, he’s easily in the Top 5, even when compared to men in their 20’s and 30’s who should have been far, far better than a teenaged boy. The only problem? My face was always a bit wet when it was over. Obviously, a passionate kiss is going to result in the exchange of bodily fluids (umm, perverts!), but you should be mindful that you don’t get her too wet. Not there, anyway.
Teeth Knocking
I have experienced this twice in my life, and both times resulted in my ending the kiss, and never kissing the guy again. Knocking your teeth into hers makes for a very awkward situation, especially if it’s the first kiss. We realize you’re nervous, but please no teeth knocking.
Tongue Sucking
Ok – before I get into this one, let me first say that some people dig it. I am not one of them. I do not want my tongue slurped on, and I am not going to tool around with yours, either. If you’re of a mind to try this on someone, I suggest you ask beforehand. I have it on good authority that failure to do so can result in someone biting down. Hard.
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Ewwwww... so many mistakes. Slobbery, sucking, biting. No, not interested.
OMG IS I read this and I thought oh f**k, stand back,
a kissing perfectionist... there's not many of us left....
and then I thought the best thing i could probably do would be to write a poem of some sort since what else is there in the final analysis... laughs...
x Drax
Hey don't forget the lip biting. I have actually heard of someone getting their chapped bottom lip peeled raw from a lip biter. Might as well make out with a pitbull. (sorry for the stereotype Whitney)
This is good info to spread, but what about those who don't quite open their mouth big enough and look like they're blowing bubbles? LOL! YUK!
How do you do it, Isabella? Lots of info - and quite vital, too, to developing a good sex life - but always hilariously funny, as well.
I know men have a reputation for being lame in certain areas like kissing...but i've experienced a few of the same challenges from women...
Heres another way to look at, when your having a bad kissing experience, you might have hit one or two of his triggers that turn him off, by something you unknowing done or said. He may be thinking the same thing about you. The answer to this by talking, good communcation can solve many problems. Telling him or her in the right way could help both of you.
Whitney - I dated someone who was very into it. Yuck.
Steph - Me neither, lol.
Drax - Well.. only cos I'm a naturally perfect kisser. ;)
Roderic - I love biting -- being bit and biting, both. Some people are pretty bad at it, though.. but I can guarantee you, you'd like it if I did it to you. ;)
Chantel - Haven't experienced that one, but it does sound a bit odd!
Rapidwriter - Oh, I suppose its easy when your sex life is laugh worthy. ;)))
Mark - Yes, I was waiting for this reply. I think this happens far less frequently than men would like to believe.. sorry!
BoCot -- You think turning a man off leads to him kissing badly? Thats completely illogical. And the answer is not "communicating", either. You either learn by example or you never learn at all. Women do not want to have to teach a man anything in bed!
this is cool
Let me explain what I meant about turning him or her off. If I start kissing a girl and she has bad breath, not wanting to be a real ass and hurt her feelings I try to get away without letting her know. She could take my responce as I don't know what I am doing, or a bad kisser or etc. Whats really happening is I am about to get sick. I have had a few situations lke that. The failure of most relationships is not being able to talk to each other. If you don't know you have a problem, how can you fix it? Most wars and fights start that way. When I was a young man, I dated older women and they gladly taught me everything I know. Most women I have had experience with was warm loving caring persons who gladly do anything to improve our relationship. What most women won't do is tell a man he isn't doing this or that right.
Promhottie - Thanks!
BoCot - These are not things someone would do while trying to get away. And it actually sounds like you might be the one who has the communication problem, being that you would back away without saying why.
Those just make me chant, "Ew, ew, ew, ew..." and so on. They sound disturbing. Good hub.
Ew is definitely the word! I have had a boyfriend that wa into putting his touge in my mouth...God I disliked that and told him that was gross...he actually got mad about it...slobbering...ew he did that as well. I was like do you even know how to kiss correctly!? Another thing...he was into trying to suck my lips and wanted me to do that as well...heck no. That is totally gross. Isabella this is a good hub! I hope some peopl learn from it. :)
What a great hub!!--I hope lots of men will read it, theres nothing worse than a bad kisser!!
Excellent information. Good work.
Ha! You finally put one in my wheel house, Isa. I am a great kisser -the one area I have true talent.
Wow, thanks for the info:) Ill be sure to never do this stuff:)
Slobbering kissers are the absolute worst. Spot on, as usual, Isabella.
You're good, very good, Ms. Snow. I just smile reading your work. Thank you for it.
Devin - Thanks very much!
Ang3lz - Ewww!! And thanks! :))
2 Cents - Thanks, I hope they do, too!
Adyesha - Thanks!
Fretbuzz - Glad to hear it, though I'm sure you're being modest about the rest!
Corey - You're welcome!
Angela - Thank you!!
Rainbow - How sweet, thank you!
wow, very useful tips really.interesting hub.
Great hub I have never heard of tongue sucking though.
that just too great babe i think you should kee it up ok , is quite interesting this a media were lovers should take lesson and tips from and apply to there relationship ..... more grease to your elbow baby
Though I am a man and it has been a while I just recently got wind of some x coworker that seemed interested, though I don't know even how to approach her, for fear of making a fool of myself, on the other hand maybe I should respond in some way to let her know how I feel. I am not sure how she feels except she has been asking a friend of mine how I am doing every time he come in to work. She's a really nice lady and I want to make a good impression. I thought since I am kinda nervous I would just have my friend give her my number and she can call me that way we can talk and I can find out where she stands, as far as her feelings for me.
Oh it is a turn off when those stuff are done to you. Great hub Isabella.
Tongue sucking! LOL! It's funny what some people enjoy. To each his own though :) Great article.
I have to agree with these... *sigh*
How about sucking her breath away till she faints? I am guilty of that. Only once, though.
Useful hub for ignoramuses like me. :)
Turn offs indeed,
First kiss years ago with a lovely gal who really tickled my fancy, she just about sucked off half of my tongue! Some kinda painful! That was the END of that!
As for bad breath, how do you tell her anything? At least I didn't get my head lopped off last year by a lady friend to whom I suggested that since she talks all day (a teacher) she might be more fastidious about brushing her tongue, you know, way back where the bouquet seems to reside. She didn't climb up in her socks though she insisted she was already doing a bangup job. Perhaps. We are still good friends, and I am thankful, and I'll cross that line again if needs be.
So... How are guys supposed to learn if women are so averse to teaching us? We need to understand that women are teaching us all the time, usually subliminally, non-verbally. We need to listen with all our senses, not just our humble ears. So, kiss her as tenderly as she kisses you, then add maybe 5%. Linger awhile, then pull back and tease her, let her come and get it (but don't let the moment pass, get back in there)! If she does, you're warm. If she doesn't, count yourself lucky if she thinks you're a quick study who deserves a second chance.
If you'd rather be right up front about it, when you're both done getting in the mood, just ask her playfully to show you how she likes to be kissed. If she balks at that, be ready for some hard slogging if you need some help sorting out her e-zones!
Nice tips :-) I really like these great kissing techniques, really a great summary. Thanks for sharing.
Vijay - Thanks!
Singpec - Lucky you, lol!
OC - Thanks!
Justaman - Hmm, no idea how to advise you, cos I don't know the full situation, but just be yourself and if she's into you, you'll know soon enough. ;) Good luck!
Ripplemaker - Glad you agree!
Dale - Isn't it? And thanks!
Glassvisage - Thanks!
Kenny - LOLOLOL. I'm sure it wasn't like that. ;)
Ed - That's a good question.. unfortunately (for men) we don't want to teach you, cos we want to you already be Prince Charming. ;)
Jimmy - Thank you!
Great Tips Isabella, so true, I think everyone should read this and make kissing a great experience. Well done. Cheers :)
Way cool hub! Entertaining and certainly brought the folks out of the corners to answer... I love it!
How about the guy that thinks licking your lips like a puppy is going to make you beg for more.
Sorry guys, not wanting to pick on you, but you may have no idea how many guys need to practice a romantic kiss... not just one that will get HIM ready to jump into bed with a girl.
The name of the game is for BOTH parties to be enticed to romance - not just 'shag-o-delic'.
Thanks for the entertaining hub.
This is a great hug and so true. Many men are terrible kissers! It's embarrassing to tell them, so I just don't kiss him much when he sucks. I kinda play it off and do the peck.
Another tip: if you both wear glasses maybe take them off first..otherwise you could get them crushed in the passion of the moment. And it's so geeky to lock glasses while kissing! ;)
Great info Isabella ;)Tongue sucking..yuk!You definately have an excellent and refined sense of humor too...i think you've made it an artform:):):) And your PEN-name is really romantic too....Isabella Snow, its adorable name :)
Roses to you,Robbie.
PS: keep these eye-opening hubs going or else...............i'll miss 'em ;)Oh...you sing well too:)
I NEVER HAD A BAD KISSER AND IF HE WANT TO SUCK MY TONGUE IT FINE WITH ME I LOVE GENTLY KISSING SLOW AND SOFT . BITING IT HAD TO BE NICE NO PAIN
Hi ISA, I absolutely hate a bad kisser.....and I know I am a good kisser because most guys that I have kissed that were good kissers said I was. The thing I hate the most is teeth knocking. I think it boils down to, either you got it or you don't. I don't know if you can teach a bad kisser how to be a good one! They either have passion flowing thru their veins that explodes when they kiss or forget about it. Great article.
Great advice to guys on mistakes not to make. Thanks for sharing them. It's nice to see this from a woman's perspective, especially as a fan of the lost art of kissing!
Your article is filled with insight and understanding. It always helps to have a woman’s perspective on matters. Keep up the good work.
Isabella, is there something in the water in the u.k.? -- there definitely is something in it here in the States AND maybe thats why kissers feel such a need to clean the excess fluoride off your teeth, knock those same teeth around with their own and of course, the infamous tongue sucking. Either way, a great read. I think you might do well matched up with American sex columnist, Dan Savage. You both seem to have no toleration for b.s. advice and telling people what they want to hear. Great job!
I like the tongue sucking, but I suppose it's just one of those 'things'. Everything else, perfectly true for me. Nice list.
i like a gentle tongue sucking, but when someone dribbled into my mouth once .. that took a long time to forget.
well define tonguesucking.... i mean as your puling away if my tongue was is his mouth and hesucked just al ittle htat is nice and vice a versa. i mean not just tongue sucking thats gross but throwing it in theri with kissing is nice.
Unfortunately (at the moment) I am going out with a BAD kisser.....I tried initially to move him in the right direction and a few little hints like 'I cant breath' should have been enough but it was still like kissing a boy when I was in junior school! In the end I told him as it really was affecting our relationship and he hasnt taken it too well. Not sure at the moment how to progress but feel that maybe I should have explained to him the problem at the begining of the relationship rather than 8 months down the line. maybe should slip a link to this in an email.....
Shelley: I have kissed a large number of males in my life. Most of which have tried some of these gross kissing techniques on me. I think the worst of all would be a tie between the tongue shoving and slobber. Or a mix of the two. I was recently told by a male that I would want to go to bed with him if I let him kiss me because he would shove his tongue down my throat and I would love it. My response was, "Are you stupid?" This is a great blog really.
I like this tips more than yours,Isabella Snow,and i seams u are trying to tell us you are more expert than u are.
It is never good when people are trying to be graeter than it realy is.
More often than not, the first kiss is the clincher for couples; it is the one that helps them make up their mind on whether they wish to kiss the opposite person again. Here are seven great kissing tips to help young men make their first kiss a memorable one and then build upon that success.
1. Make it romantic: Women prefer the charms of a seductive and romantic kiss that takes place in seclusion rather than a quick one in a situation that may lead to embarrassment. The kiss need not always start with a lip-lock. Small kisses on the eyelids, nose, and cheeks can set the mood for a sweet French kiss.
2. Hygiene: The importance of oral hygiene cannot be overstated. For all your kissing skills, it is critical that your breath is clean. This assumes greater significance if you plan to get romantic with your partner after eating. It is best to have a breath freshener at hand for such occasions.
3. Keep the momentum: This can mean a lot of things, all of them guaranteed to heighten the kissing experience. Either partner can be the tease and break away from a kiss just that bit early leaving the other one asking for more.
4. Caress her: Women often like to be caressed while kissing. You can start by caressing her hair from her forehead to her neck behind her ear and then gently feel her back. Alternate between using the full face of the palm and your fingertips.
5. Use your tongue: Learn to use your tongue skillfully while kissing. Circling the tip of your partner’s tongue with your tongue lightly takes both partners further down the road to intimacy. Flick your tongue over hers; surprise her with your dexterity with your tongue. Sucking your partner’s tongue while kissing is considered incredibly erotic by some (but be careful! Some women don’t like it).
6. Experiment: There are several ways in which couples can add spice to their kissing experiences. Peppermint and chocolates add flavor to a kiss; partners can try to pass a small ice cube between their mouths while kissing; the roof of your partner’s mouth is highly sensitive and feeling it lightly with the tip of your tongue is bound to offer a pleasant surprise to your partner.
7. Ask your partner: The most important aspect of any intimate experience is the comfort level with your partner and kissing is no different. Ask your partner about what constitutes her dream kiss, learn about what she likes in a kiss and try to give it to her in your personalized way.
Whitney05 says:
2 years ago
I've heard of tongue sucking. I'm glad none of my past boyfriends have been into it. It's not sexy and just nasty... Again, as you've mentioned some people dig it... Not me..