Isn’t it funny how difficult a topic this is. After all what does a 60 plus male married twice, first time over 32 years, second time 6 years (so far) really know about love?

 

Perhaps it is an illness!

When I met my first wife at age 21, I recall meeting this absolutely gorgeous living doll. She had long red hair (all natural), and a figure to die for. She was a dancer so had a dancer’s figure and legs too. This was the sixties so the mini was de rigeur and seeing great legs was legally possible. I recall shortness of breath, a racing pulse and an impression that colours were brighter and events more intense. I swear I was not on anything even though this was the age of Aquarius and grass, LSD and the like were pretty freely available. I could not wait to see her every day. I still lived at home with my parents, as did she. She was still at school so our dating nights and weekends were subject to curfew around the requirements of her schooling. She was in a commercial college at that time. A sort of precursor of secretarial schools.

Our romance flourished and we finally got engaged and married. Fast forward 32 years. 4 grown up kids. Two boys, two girls. The youngest killed a car wreck at 26 and subsequent break up. She left me for my neighbor.

Loneliness

I was living at my club prior to and during the divorce. This was an old spooky place with me as the only resident at that time. The nights were pretty empty and alone and Christmas was coming. One of my pals suggested I join him and his wife for the annual Christmas brass band carol sing along and dinner. At my state and stage of life this was the last thing I was keen on. He told me that he had told his wife that I had a ticket (I did not but he had surreptitiously bought one for me). I said no. I then said (firmly tongue in cheek) that unless he organized at least 3 women to join our party and they had to be single, available ,one a businesswoman, one had to have an arty background and at least one must have nymphomaniac tendencies. He laughed and said my wife will phone you. She did. I agreed, very reluctantly I might add, to go to the function.

The meeting.

The night of the function dawned ( mixed metaphor if ever I heard one) and we were due to meet in the main bar for pre-prandial drinks. As I had said before I was not too keen so I dallied until I was fashionably late and made my entrance. I sought them out and there, lo and behold, were my friends accompanied by three beautiful, nay stunning, girls! But of course here I am taking some poetic license in the use of the word “girls” as we as a group were all 50 plus! As it turned out the one was a florist, the other an owner of an art gallery and the third a successful group executive in a computer company.

At any rate, we had cocktails, had polite social intercourse and finally traipsed off to dinner.

Sharing Spectacles.

After dinner, the carol singing began, but one of the ladies had left her specs behind and had an empty spectacle case. I offered to share mine with her so we spent the evening singing from the same hymn sheet so to speak and swapping the specs. We enjoyed each other’s company and agreed it would be nice to meet again. It transpired she lived in Pretoria and I was due to go to a job interview there on the following day and we agreed that perhaps we could meet for coffee after my interview. And so to bed (Alone)!

The next day

The next day I went to Pretoria for my interview. After it had ended (It was unsuccessful in case you were wondering) I contemplated whether I should contact this lady or not. After much debate with myself and staring the prospect of returning to empty club which had now closed for the Christmas season and I was well and truly alone as the only incumbent, it was a definite maybe!

I phoned the lady on my cell and we agreed to meet for coffee. She was obviously not going to invite a potential axe murderer to her home, so neutral venue seemed a good idea. She suggested a venue at the CenturionLake. This is an area with coffee shops, restaurants and a mall. I said I thought I could find it. I eventually arrived and ordered a bottomless coffee. Five cups and an hour late, the said lady had not yet pitched up and I was now finally coming to the conclusion that I had been dumped. I decide on a sixth cup. My bladder was bursting, my eyeballs felt as if they were about to be submerged below he coffee line in my eyes. The phone rang and she apologized for being so late but as she was going of to the Eastern Cape on holiday in the following week, friends and family had arrived on her doorstep with presents that she had to take with on the trip. She then asked if it was going to hail. I said I thought not. She said ok in that case she would still come for coffee. Odd question!

Dinner

Finally a half an hour later the lady arrived. I then said I had had enough coffee and as it was dinner time what about dinner. She agreed. I then found out she had a new car and was afraid that it might hail and damage her car, hence the oddball question.

We talked until we were thrown out of the restaurant in the wee hours.

I asked if she had ever been to Melville, a bohemian area in Johannesburg. She said no. I suggested we go there on the following day (it was so late it was actually the same day). She said she would call but probably she would go with me.

The weekend

We did meet the next day and I discovered she was also recently divorced after 30 odd years (serial cheating spouse) and that she planned to drive to the Port Elizabeth (a 12 hour road trip). She also told me she falls asleep at the wheel of a car and had already done so recently on a relatively small road trip to the game reserve. As far as Sunday was concerned I had already made lunch plans with the same friends who had arranged the brass band affair. I asked whether she would be there, she said no she was not included in that outing. It turns out the other two ladies were indeed invited. After lunch I phoned her and we agreed to meet at her home the evening. On the spur of the moment, offered to drive her to PE and fly back. She said I would have to meet her daughters first and only if they approved would she accept my offer. We all met for dinner and the daughter approval was obtained.

The trip.

I met her every night of the following week and I drove her to PE. I spent the weekend with her (separate accommodation). As I was leaving at the airport, she offered to pay my airfare back, if I agreed to return and drive her back at the end of her holiday. I agreed and we agreed to stay in touch by texting and the odd phone call.

Suffice to say I flew back on the New Year weekend and we saw the New year in together and drove back the following day.

The end

On the way back we both were finding excuses to break up our romance. I said she was like a dog chasing a car, but she had caught it and did not know what to do with it.

We never broke up and she and I have been married for six years. She is my dearly beloved

So I am still not sure what love is or whether it is a sickness but we have a special dinner every valentines day and have not missed out – so far!