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Why Bras Love Men

Updated on October 13, 2009
A man would never do this to a bra...
A man would never do this to a bra...

It's a well known fact that many men love bras. They love bras with a passion which can only come from being kept apart from such a delightful and entirely gorgeous taboo object. The women of this world can wear brassieres with impunity, and in a tragedy greater than they will every know, some women don't actually wear bras at all. Women are bra spoiled, we take brassieres for granted. To us, they are mere utilitarian devices, only good for supporting our mammary glands and luring mates from dark corners.

As the old parental adage goes “Eat your dinner, there are starving children in the world,” so is it for men and bras “Wear your brassiere, for there are thousands of bra starved men out there who would do anything to wear a bra.”

Men have always loved brassieres, though it is only in recent years that knowledge of this fact has become widespread. For many decades, perhaps even centuries, men have been frustrated by the taboo against male bra wearing. The height of torture for men came in the 1960's when women not only stopped wearing their bras, but started burning them! How many men were singed or worse after throwing themselves in between a pretty brassiere and a lighter we may never know.

Where women put undue stress on their bras, making them carry about lumps of large flesh day in, day out, men tend to be much gentler to their brassieres. Occasionally they may be required to carry a breast form, but a breast form does not sweat into the delicate lace, curling it and tainting it for all time.

A woman will toss her bra on the bed, on the floor, sometimes even into a lukewarm puddle of shower water. A man will lovingly hand wash his bra, dry it delicately over the heater secreted in the corner of his office and then carefully wrap it up in delicate paper and hide it in the back of his vault for another day.

Men know how to make bras feel valued, men know how to really appreciate a bra. Women will whine about their bras, the way they dig in, the way the straps cut into their shoulders, the way they're never quite supportive enough. Men, on the other hand, will spend hours gently caressing and admiring a bra, making it feel beautiful and special. To a man, a brassiere is not just a piece of clothing, it is a ticket to another world, a softer, gentler world perfumed with delicate floral scents. To a man, a brassiere is heaven. That is why bras love men. Like Puff the Magic Dragon, for many women, brassieres are no longer vehicles of transport into other worlds, but men still believe, and on those distant lace lined shores, a brassiere waits for all men who love lingerie.

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