Will They Ever Let You Forget

I was watching TV the other day, and I caught an interview with a former child star, Todd Bridges. He made mention that no matter what he does now with his life no one ever lets him forget his past. He's been clean and sober for over 17 years, and having success in his life. He said that a few years ago he rescued a woman, literally saving her life, and the write up on the rescue was less than favorable. To tell the truth I never even heard of his lifesaving act, but I continue to hear about his not so favorable past.

Then a few days later I saw an interview with Robert Downey Jr., and the interviewer, after talking extensively about his wonderful performance in his latest movie, brought up his past drug use. He's starred in a few very noteworthy movies of late, and yet every time I see him interviewed, his past if always brought up.

Let's not forget M.C. Hammer, (Hammer Time, "Can't Touch This"), the 90's pop/rap singer and dancer. He's gone in a different direction from his past life. But he was interviewed on one of the morning shows with his son. I think his subject had something to do with his new venture. At any rate the interviewer advised his son to follow his example now and not what he did in the past. She was referring and alluding to the fact that he went bankrupt. After the host made that less than flattering statement to his, I think, 11 year old son, Hammer said, something to the effect, "he doesn't know anything about that." Well take a look at the video, and you'll see what I mean.

I suppose the reason I'm writing about this could be two fold. One, be careful what you do when you're young. By that I mean, whatever you do when you're young could come back to haunt you when you get older. I'm sure this advice will get to the right people at the wrong time. You see when we're young we "know everything," and no one can tell us anything. But in retrospect we look back with our 20/20 vision and wish we'd listened to the sage advice of our elders. Oh, I could go on to write a complete article on this subject, and maybe I will, but this was simply musing.

The second reason, and, I think an important one, is, let it go. I mean, when a person makes an effort to change their life, can we just give them a break and not continually remind them or others of what they did in the past. I can imagine some of us would not like the spotlight shone on our past, especially if we've turned our life around and put behind us some of the ghastly acts that we participated in during our youth. Can you imagine being reminded, for 17 years, about something you did that you were not particularly proud of, and not being credited with the good that you've done, during that period. I'm just saying.

There are numerous public figures that continue to live their lives with no regard for what others say or think, so why not give them the attention they crave. It's enough of them to keep us talking, and speculating for a long time. And for those ones that have made a concerted effort to change, let them get on with their lives.

Well, here we go again, another media personality with the issue of having to live down his past. Chris Brown was on Good Morning America, March 22, 2011, promoting his album. He was repeatedly asked about the Rihanna incident. Before I go any further, let me say I weigh in pro or con on neither side of the issue. During the interview, clearly he was uncomfortable focusing on the incident. He has, as was brought out, laid low for over two years, not getting in trouble during that time.

What happens next is unclear. It was reported that he stormed off, after his performance, went to his dressing room, and proceeded to destroy it, breaking a window in the process. While I watched the show I didn't see him storm off, but I did see the aftermath, (window broken, whether by Brown or someone else), on the news. Chris Brown's return, a news article.

I don't know any of the circumstances surrounding the issue, however, here's my take. As I stated before, what you do can always come back to haunt you. As with the Rihanna situation, if Chris Brown, indeed did what they say he did, this is a big setback to letting him forget.

I say to the interviewers, do you have skeletons in your closet that you'd rather not be brought up, think about that, and put yourself in the shoes of the one being interviewed? How would you feel if every time you were in the media that skeleton was brought up?

To the one in the news, think about what you do on every occasion, good, bad, or indifferent. Itwill come up again, and again. This situation, if true with Chris Brown will only serve to keep the negative press going for some time to come, and two years down the road he'll have to deal with it. So, I say if you want them to forget, your negative actions, don't give them anything to remember.

If you have the urge, or inclination to mention someone else failings from the past, put yourself in their place. Think about the worse things that you did years ago, and have since moved on from. How would you feel if during every conversation your past is brought to the fore, and you're thereby not allowed to forget it? Keeping this in mind perhaps you'll not be so quick to listen to gossip about others past. I wish I could get that across to the interviewers that won't let these people, or us, for that matter, forget the past of those they interview.

Hey, I just thought of something. Suppose those that are to be interviewed learn something about their interviewers before the interview, and when the talk turns to their, hope to be forgotten, past, they could tactfully turn the tables, and bring up something that the interviewer would love to forget. Okay, I'm not a tit for tat individual, but I think if that happened enough, the interviewers would think twice before bringing up their subjects negative past.

I suppose we should address those that find themselves in situations that could go either way. Take a lesson from these individuals that I've listed here, and make the right choice. Easier said than done, yeah, but consider the alternative to what you're contemplating.

Of course, this advice is not just for public figures, what about our friends, relatives, and other acquaintances, could they be given the same courtesies? (I'm just saying).