Where Should I Immigrate?

The question came up: "If you were forced (or fed up?) enough to leave your country, where would you move to? Well you can't answer this question without having a good idea of what your options are.

There are 189-195 countries in the world depending on the source, so that's a lot of options of places to move to. Not every country is going to be an appropriate destination, but to give an idea of the many exotic destinations, and not so exotic, available, this hub will run through some of the possible countries to immigrate to.

Since I live in the United States, all possible new homes are being compared to the U.S.A, although as anyone in Alaska (and based on comments, apparently also Maine) can tell you, there are places still technically belonging to the stars and stripes that feel like an entirely different world. Now onto the best places to immigrate:

#1: Immigration to Canada. This seems like the first obvious choice. If you're looking at immigrating to Canada, you could be instantly be tempted by phrases such as "socialized medicine," "low crime rates," or "great fishing," let's look at both sides of the argument.

Positives of moving to Canada:

• 1) Cheap/free health care
• 2) Low crime rates
• 3) Great fishing
• 4) Much better beer (don't even try arguing against this one unless you're from Alaska)
• 5) You get to say "You Hoser."

Negatives of emigrating to Canada:

• 1) Curling is a serious sport
• 2) Dollar coin nicknamed 'The Loon.'
• 3) The football field looks funny, and the rules feel strange
• 4) Two words: Bryan Adams
• 5) Two more words: Metric System. Do you really know how far away 173 kilometers is?

The better beer could be a tipping point, but metric system and Bryan Adams and curling and a 100 meter football field? Hmm - jury might be out on this one.

#2: Immigration to Mexico. What's not to like? Dollars go a lot further, even nowadays, there are beautiful beaches you can live on fairly cheap, and if you're a criminal Mexico is non-extradition. So if you're planning a great bank heist before you go, this could be a top choice! So what are the pros and cons of the States' southern neighbor?

Positives of immigrating to Mexico:

• 1) Dollars go a lot further
• 2) Cheap beach property available (as long as you stay off the resorts)
• 3) Great Mexican food
• 4) You get to add fruit to your beer (fun)
• 5) Home of the Margarita

Negatives of moving to Mexico:

• 1) You need your money before you move, because it will be hard to make more
• 2) It's really really hot
• 3) The washed citrus you added to your beer will give you Montezuma's Revenge
• 4) It's either margarita (girly drink) or tequila (worm & hangover)
• 5) Hablas espanol muy bueno?

I know everyone expected not being able to drink water to be on the negative list, but the beer and margaritas negate that. I guess if you're a tropical minimalist this is a good stop, but if you're Irish and burn easy, this could be harsh.

#3: Immigrating to Australia. Based on my research, this is one of the places that gets the most curiosity, and it's not hard to see why. Amazing natural wonders, a very socially minded government, and you're nobody's target for nuclear annihilation during World War III. Except maybe jealous New Zealand. But where are they going to get the bomb?

Positives of moving to Australia:

• 1) Swearing up a storm can be socially acceptable
• 2) Diverse and incredible wildlife (only found on this continent)
• 3) Raucous parties
• 4) Tons and tons of cool slang
• 5) Watching Aussie rules football is absolutely awesome

Negatives of moving to Australia:

• 1) Swearing up a storm can be socially acceptable
• 2) Diverse and incredible wildlife (tons of it extremely venomous or dangerous to human beings - it's like the continent designed to kill people)
• 3) Raucous parties
• 4) Is the following phrase good, bad, or embarrassing?: "I was hangin' with bastards when a battler cutting loose ate all the avos, drank all the coldies till he chundered all over at the cockie's barbie, leaving us all gobsmacked." Answer: embarrassing for the blue collared man barely getting by.
• 5) Playing Aussie football hurts like bloody h**l.

If you're the adventurous type who doesn't mind all of nature trying to kill you, there's definitely something here. If you're more of a conservative homebody, it's time to keep looking. Also: Australia's popular enough that immigrating is getting harder and harder so get an early start.

#4: Immigrating to Japan. There's beer in vending machines, beautiful nature to the north, and great transportation. It's an industrialized nation much closer to many great Asian tourist destinations. So what's the good and bad?

Positives of immigrating to Japan:

• 1) Developed economy, finding work shouldn't be hard
• 2) Beer in vending machines
• 3) Sake
• 4) Many English speakers, makes transition easier
• 5) Sumo wrestling is cool

Negatives of immigrating to Japan:

• 1) Expected work ethic (many work themselves to death)
• 2) If you're six foot tall with a big beard you'll get a lot of stares
• 3) Sake
• 4) If you mutter English profanities, they will understand you
• 5) The "working to death" work ethic - better off back here in U.S.

On top of that, baseball is obsessive. I don't want to memorize 30 chants for the right team to get a beer on game night. I just want a beer and to be able to watch the game.

#6: Move to Scotland? This is a popular potential destination, mostly for those who have Scottish ancestry.

Positives of emigrating to Scotland:

• 1) British Pounds are kicking the dollar's butt - so working to get ahead can work out
• 2) English is spoken, though you'll have to get use to Brogue
• 3) Speaking from first hand experience: kilts are amazingly comfy
• 4) Amazing scenery in the Highlands
• 5) Everyone at your previous home will be jealous that you're living in Scotland
• 6) Bonus: Amazing Whiskey

Negatives of moving to Scotland:

• 1) You're part of the United Kingdom, so even as a "Scot" you're still "British." That can be weird.
• 2) If you don't pick up on brogue, it's like being in an entirely foreign country
• 3) There is a rainy/foggy season
• 4) Long cold winters
• 5) Kilts move in the wind
• 6) Bonus Negative: Amazing Whiskey, i.e. the morning after effect

I assume Scotland is the personal favorite type of destination. If it's in your blood there's no place else, if not, then the rest of us look weird.

#7: The Euro Area. Any nation that uses the Euro on the continent. France? Spain? Italy? Germany? A lot of positives here, so what's the tale of the tape.

Positives of moving to Europe:

• 1) Better Museums
• 2) Most nations give more paid vacation
• 3) Most likely socialized medicine
• 4) Can travel extensively through the continent cheap
• 5) A lot to do

Negatives of immigrating to Europe:

• 1) How many languages can you/do you want to, become proficient in? (hard for late bloomers)
• 2) Can be expensive to live in - dollar doesn't go as far.
• 3) 18 year old kids are probably smarter than you (intimidating/embarrassing)
• 4) EU seems to pick on Ireland - that just doesn't seem nice
• 5) Moving to the "old country," well isn't this the equivalent of washing out after college and moving back into your parents' basement?

#5: Emigrate to Russia. We're assuming nice Russia, not Siberia former gulag Russia. Even in the western part of Russia there are positives and negatives, so let's run down the list.

Positives of immigration to Russia:

• 1) Dollars still go a very long way
• 2) Great for cold weather people
• 3) Onion dome Orthodox cathedrals
• 4) Great women's basketball
• 5) Amazing vodka

Negatives of immigrating to Russia:

• 1) "Democracy" fragile at best - dictatorship could still return
• 2) Great for cold weather people
• 3) "Economic Stability" is a very different term here
• 4) (Do I dare alienate 60% of my readers by making a WNBA joke?)
• 5) Still developing into the 21^st century

Russia hits me as an intriguing place to visit, but coming back to the question of moving from America, can it really be considered a logical upgrade? Maybe we need to keep looking.