A House Maid

First the glares,

then the stares,

she could feel the fear

in the air,

patting her chest lightly,

she wondered why she was there,

by trade she was a house maid,

caught up in a search

and seizure raid,

she was bent over with a slight hump,

they stared at that plump,

sad faced black woman,

with a Tina Turner wig,

neck like a tree stump,

face, a make-up mess,

and a blue cotton dress,

absorbing glances,

a comic vision

under the circumstances,

she was confused,

as many of the police officers

were mildly amused,

she was quite a show,

but after checking out her story,

they let her go.

© 2012 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 52 comments

Patty Kenyon profile image

Patty Kenyon 4 years ago from Ledyard, Connecticut

Frank, I absolutely love your poetry because of all the imagery you use that keeps the reader so captivated!! I never know what to expect when I reach the end!!! Since she is considered innocent, I could really use a house maid...lol

Awesome Job As Usual!!!! Voted Up, Awesome, and Shared!!!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

LOL thanks Patty.. so you're telling me your house is a mess? LOL you're the best


Patty Kenyon profile image

Patty Kenyon 4 years ago from Ledyard, Connecticut

LOL...Well at the moment, no not a mess, but when I find a job, that may be a different story...LOL....Perhaps, I will just wear her wig...lol


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Well with the maid is available Then send to her to me ha ha...What a great poem...So original And like Patty said Never know what to expect...

hugs from Tennessee ... Debbie


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

Bummer, I thought this was gonna be about my new BFF and thong checker getting me a maid to clean my place! :) Great poem, Frank! :) Voted up and more. :)


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Frank did you check out Michelle? She's on the prowl again..lol. Hugs from Tennessee


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Patty you are delightfully witty..LOL and TTombs I still can help out with the thong check LOL and Our Ms Brooks thanks for stopping by and I will check out Michelle bless you all :) Frank


Storytellersrus profile image

Storytellersrus 4 years ago from Stepping past clutter

This is so brilliant, Frank. I love how you place real people inside unexpected but perfectly understanding circumstances. You have a keen sense of things- the gift of observing the absurd. Kudos, once again.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Story..bless you :)


Senoritaa profile image

Senoritaa 4 years ago

Poor house maid. See now I feel bad for her. But glad she didn't die in your poem :D


Valleypoet 4 years ago

You built the tension up very nicely there Frank...and thankfully, this time, a happy ending!..another good read:-))


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Senoritaa am I that bad LOL thanks for stopping by :) and thank you Valleypoet happy ending yeah :) thanks for stopping by too bless you both


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

http://hubpages.com/literature/Michelle-the-Roving...

for you frank.. you and your motorcycle..lol


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

Frank, I'm so glad the maid was let go. This struck as funny for a nice change.

Voted up funny and awesome.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Ill check it out now Our Ms Brooks.. but you know it didn't show up on my feed... :( Bless you and your motorcycle..:) Joyce good to see you hope all is well with you :)


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

I feel sorry for the poor dear, pleased she was let go. You gave us a great image pof her


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

Wow, Frank, you have painted a vivid picture here with your words. Very clever write. Terrific poem. In His Love, Faith Reaper


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Rosemay50 baby and doggie for visiting my maid and thank you too Faith Reaper bless you both


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

" and a new cotton dress absorbing glances" like that phrase much, Frank. All the poem, really. Maybe some subtle profiling was going on at first, maybe not. All's well that ends well.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

yeah lol.. good comment Alastar bless you bro :)


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

Frank, I am with Alastar. I love that phrase and the visual. I wonder though if that hump was hiding something...... As always you have done a great job with your poetry.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

LOL I don't know Hyphen.. :) thanks for the visit


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

Glares, stares and the fear....wonderful interplay of metaphors, wow!


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up. Those kinda maids never know nothing. It made me think of Mammy in Gone With The Wind and her angry face.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks VG and Gypsy rose lee for checking out my house maid :)


LaThing profile image

LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

This is a fun poem, Frank..... I was expecting something strange to happen at the end, but .... It actually came out pretty smooth! You surprised me :)

Nice job, always enjoy your poems. Voting up and awesome!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thanks so much LaThing :)


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

thank god they let her go....poor maid!

good narration


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Ruch for the visit bless you


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 4 years ago from Central Florida

I love reading your stories and the comments you bring out of your followers. You are a great reference, people are lining up to hire your poor maid. You seem to be a butt man who can't resist a thong. You keep people guessing when it comes to who you kill off and what twists come up in your stories. All in all, you continue to bathe in awesomeness and its unanimous.... :)


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

Up, FAI votes Frank. Had to give Moms a shout of Frank. She picked you out of the line up pretty easily. LOL Just another example of your pure talent Frank. I always wanted a maid:)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Moms lets get it right.. you're the awesome one :) butt man? LOL crazy peeps LOL thelyricwriter thanks yeah and Moms is cool peeps :)


Phoebe Pike 4 years ago

When will you have these set up into a book? I really would like one to read while I am at work or just lounging around.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Phoebe that was so sweet bless you girl


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 4 years ago from Dallas, Texas

It is incredible how you can tell a complete detailed story in so few words. Amazing. The House Maid was so cleverly described that I could practically see her nervous sweat. Loved this one and that they let her go.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks pegcole a wonderful comment :)


Phoebe Pike 4 years ago

Hey, it's true. So when do you plan on publishing it?


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 4 years ago from Guildford

I love your poetry. I must pop back to read some more. Thank you.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 4 years ago from Central Florida

Awesomeness is in the eye of the beholder...


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

I have no plans Phoebe.. but it still so nice to hear thanks again.. and thank you for visiting my maid acaetnna :) and moms-secret Im beholding :) Frank


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 4 years ago from Somewhere in the West

Very nice Frank ;)

Blessings from GOD our father


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Lady


Phoebe Pike 4 years ago

Frank, I might be a "good writer", but your work is far beyond my skill level.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Phoebe you're way passed good and the proof lies in your work :)


Phoebe Pike 4 years ago

Fingers crossed


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

good luck


raciniwa profile image

raciniwa 3 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

another great read from you Frank...i enjoy it...miss your poems...


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks for stopping by :)


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 2 years ago from New York

I was feeling sorry for that poor maid. Being in her shoes didn't sound too pleasant. You packed a lot of her fear in a short poem that never left us out of her thoughts, thankfully she was released.

Voted up, useful, and interesting.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

LOL thanks Till for viewing my maid :)


carrie Lee Night profile image

carrie Lee Night 2 years ago from Northeast United States

Lovely prose of humility and a frightened every day woman being a suspect. It was unique and I enjoyed it very much ! :) Thank you for your ever so changing artistry.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thank ou carrie :)

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