"A Lesson Earned"

All the turmoil and stress I've been through,
tell me, what have I earned?
All the sadness and pain,
hard lessons learned,
Tell me, what do I deserve?
for my many a broken heart,
for the nothingness I get in return?
Have I earned this?
Solitude and emptiness.
Do I deserve this?
longing for everything I miss.
I just miss being in your arms,
you holding me tight.
I just miss saying hello and goodbye,
with a kiss every night.
If this is my reward,
Id rather lose,
than to earn a prize,
I can not choose.
But if Im losing,
wont it be just the same?
Tell me how does it end,
how do I get out of this game?
I never wanted to play in the first place,
I didnt choose to be born.
And no matter what cards I lay down on the table,
Im beaten, broken and torn.
Every time I get back up,
Every time I fall in love,
Its the same bad hand,
pointing its gun.
If life is just a gamble,
then I'm calling your bluff.
You may have been everything,
but I was never enough.
Tell me, do you think I have earned this?
Tell me, whats my best bet?
I guess people dont get what they deserve,
You just get, what you get.