All The Comforts Of Home

It is early morning around one am or actually more closer to two

My wife and our one cat and little kitten are asleep

What should I do ?

You guessed it

Absolutely nothing

Disturb any one of them and the quiet peaceful serene home

Turns into a day at the amusement park

My wife not missing a beat saying ticket please

Our kitten opening every door like it was the next wild ride

The oldest of the bunch by far is my cat who just wants to eat

So he would be in line at each refreshment stand ready for the next delicious mouth watering treat

Then this would go on all day long until I am totally exausted and have no energy left

I would be weary eyed and think I am looking into one of those funny mirrors

Because all I would be seeing is double or distorted people as I keep trying to keep my eyes open

Forcing them apart all blood shot and red

How do I do it seven days a week with no rest

How do they do it ?

Going nonstop from morning to night

They keep me riding on the edge of my seat like I was sitting in the first seat of the roller coaster every time

Never a dull moment

I don't know how I haven't lost my breakfast yet

Nerves of steel thats how

More like lack of brain cells so I never get the full effect

When it finally hits me when others would of been begging for mercy for hours

I just calmy say

It is just another day at home with the ones I love

Boy do I love the sound of nothing

I can just jump for joy

Careful I almost blew it

I got so excited I almost slipped up

I moved my chair to fast and I think I heard my kitten stirring

Then I went into the freezer for a late night celebration

My cat is listening and I know he heard me

Just to lazy to move until he knows for sure it is worth his while

Even though I opened the freezer door so gently I couldn't even hear it open

My cat can smell food within fifty yards

Usually I here him jump off the bed and then I know I have been had

This time I took extra precautions to ensure my piece of mind and sanity

I muffled the sound of the silverware draw opening that is a squeak he knows only to well

Easy ...Easy.. Almost there

Look right in front of me a spoon sitting in the dish strainer

Why didn't I see it

Look dummy look

It is too late now my hand is already on the spoon

I am feeling lucky tonight

Remember one wrong sound and I am a gonner

Sometimes my cat just gets up to check things out

He will go back to bed sleeping on the edge of the bed with my wife

If all checks out fine and nothing looks out of place

If I am where I should be in the office doing boring typing on the computer

The sound that puts him to sleep just like the sound of rain

Boy he loves to sleep

He sleeps twenty two hours out of every day

Two hours for his afternoon walk back and forth to the all you can eat cat buffet

To gorge himself until he looks like a giant over stuffed monkey ready to explode at the seams one of the ones you see haging over those carnival games that are all fixed and you never can win

Back to the ice cream before it melts

My house is small

It is like a fun house until the kitten wakes up then it becomes the haunted house where everything moves magically

Even though I know my ghost is my little kitten with paw fever

She has to knock everything over until she hears the sound of crash

Then she is happy

She doesn't scare easily as I jump and clean up the mess

She is up to her next stunt without a net underneath

She has practiced this stunt so many times when I am not home

I am surprised that she is alive to show us one more time

I forgot cats have nine lives

I think my kitten is special she has nine lives every day

Well I am off to follow in the footsteps of my cat

To stuff my face with all the ice cream my stomach will hold

Then that will give me the courage to face any challanges that tomorrow will bring

Good night and may your silence be as rewarding as mine