And Still Ashes To Ashes...


Her heart would begin to race,

she could see the curiosity in his face,

he followed her down the street,

then heard him let out a long

conscious moan,

it was cold, but she felt his heat,

then he would whimper and groan,

a perfect mingling of terror and lust,

as he whispered some words,

ashes to ashes, dust to dust,

she seemed rattled,

her moment in life abused,

he looked bewildered and confused,

she wore the horror like a coat,

he put his hands down gently

and wrapped it around her throat,

he let out a sigh,

that just filled the sky,

with sweet, yet painful anticipation,

and she started to cry,

she didn’t have much to live for,

but she didn’t want to die,

he hushed and hushed,

gripped her throat and crushed,

all her emotions rushed,

death was near,

as he laid her down

and brushed her moist hair,

he removed his grip and stared,

he ran his fingers over the rounded eyelids,

and along the fringe of her lashes,

her life flickered in constant flashes,

and still ashes to ashes...

© 2012 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 25 comments

Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

I see fire, represented by anger, and ashes.

Terror and lust, what a wonderful word picture.

Now I'm going to sleep.

23:41 PM, Kathmandu


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thanks so much V for sharing my ashes.. :)


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Frank this was very scary to me but at the same time your descriptions of this moment was perfect. Kept me watching this scene play out but at the same time wanting it to end. Like a really good movie. Very good writing for sure.

Sunnie


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you Sunnie for visiting my ashes too.. and you have a Sunnie Day and a Happy New Year


justateacher profile image

justateacher 4 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

You have a way that you tell stories that keeps people readingfrom start to finish and keep them interested the whole time


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Justateacher you are just too kind thank you for reading :)


Sky9106 profile image

Sky9106 4 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

No point in asking about any dream , the way it come to you so clearly , yet to us so far fetched and unseen.

Note I am always telling you about character , but hearing about your dad , you already knew.

Another one where you the copywriter exposes one of your signature pieces , in your rare collection of works of art, from the one the only Frank ANTANACIO.

Keep up your great works.

Bless.


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Hi Frank- You are such a careful and skillful wordsmith. Which is high praise. In my family, we treasure wordsmith skills, but we all write prose and are not successful with poetry.

The mis-direction at the beginning, "ashes to ashes" was brilliant. I anticipated a traditional funeral, not the cold, sad death you led us to. Such good work.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

you just know the deal SKY you da man!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

PH thank you so much and it means so much coming from an Intelligent Hubber like yourself bless you :) Frank


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York

I'm with phdast7, I thought this was going to be about a funeral not a murder. You very skillfully grip the reader and lead us down the garden path so to speak. Great job.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much Till... and thank you for visiting my ashes :)


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

Great murder story, creepy guy. Voted up and awewsome.


raciniwa profile image

raciniwa 4 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

oh, i could still feel the terror of the victim...this is kinda scary Frank...thank you for the reminder that no one is safe...predators are lurking nearby waiting...waiting..


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you writer20 I also see you have my back :) bless you.. and Raciniwa good to ahve you aboard thanks for your wonderful comment..:) Frank


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Very well written, I enjoyed reading this macabre piece, it cuts deep.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks for visiting my ashes Rosemary50


Jspot profile image

Jspot 4 years ago from Flames of water and love

Frank that was intense. How the very heart of it becomes that which it already is, beautiful.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks JSpot and welcome to my page :)


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Gosh Mr. Frank this scared me..My heart is beating so fast.. wow... Hope I can sleep tonight.. lol.. another great one.

I voted up and awesome

Debbie


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

LOL thank you for the smile Ms Brooks :)


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Brilliant Frank and another up up and away here also.

Take care and enjoy the rest of your day.

Eddy.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you again Eddy, have a blessed day :)


Senoritaa profile image

Senoritaa 4 years ago

How painfully magical these lines seem:

she didn’t have much to live for,

but she didn’t want to die,

Very well done again.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much again Senoritaa :) Frank

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