Past Notes Vol.1

What would it matter,

If i Cried?,

If i Died?,

That I've searched all of this time

Without knowing what to look for

Pounding more nails

Into this mental hell bulletin board

I pull myself in every direction

Emotional turrets

Desperation has me scrubbing away

These photographic images

That agitate my infatuation

Be of service

Give me my sentence

There's no phrase or endorsement

To protect me from myself

Still i wander deeply down

This heart felt hell

Could it be?

A chalk outline of my fantasies

For one day

Could we forget

How to feel, hear, see

You never let me

Become part of you

In this solitude

I water the hatred

In the crystal reflection

Of your splitting atoms

That sink their roots

To the Core,

To the simple and fragile foundation

Of what I've known to be the best of me

There's a parade in every penalty

The violent shakes

Wont lift me from this body

What i want

I don't need

I've lost it already

When i stop to think

I weave

In

And Out

Back up to the bottom

Climbing the way down to the top

I knew i'd be the fool

To try to silence the silence

To get the spinning earth to stop

I'm falling into this hole

Out flows a waterfall

With love and hatred

As this poorly written story grows

Muddy waters

Flood up to my nostrils

Moss grows on my tiptoes

Let your war cry,

Be my lullaby

As i hold onto a deep breath

One last time

Get the gears grinding

Preparing to battle myself once again

Fighting off

The penitentiary programing

Say to yourself,

"This has gone too far"

Far too gone

Readapt

Pull my tail from this mouse trap

The lies and ties

Leak like vapors

Seeping through a crack in a gas can

We forget about the ground beneath us

When we watch the ashes of heaven

Burning up the sky

Look at us now

Children crying

Like a kill switch cop

My fingers itching for a trigger

Or something to ignite this

Give me some gravity to pull myself back

To some common ground

The mouths of society

Have leaked toxins,

Successfully poisoning the members

Of the Center of Disease control

Photo albums

Make good kindling

Make up

Is good for masking

What we hate about ourselves

Decorating the ashes

Spectacular sparklers

Catch the fuse of a Roman Candle

Flare off

Sharpen your senses

To the pop of a snare

Delicate dreams of chaos

Leading a war dance

Flare out

siphon and spit out each others toxins

United we kill each other

As we wonder

Why we cant seem to connect

To a more advanced species

Spark the core

Let's get it right this time

Let the planets smash together

Cosmic wind chimes