Two Years: A Refelection

When I was first writing this hub page...I had a completely different thing in mind..it was a short story...

Instead I'm dedicating it to all of you and my family and friends in my everyday life - You are my hope and inspiration. <3

Goodbye 2011 I’ve had quite enough of you.

One of the hardest years of my life on record, and I don’t suppose you’ll go away quietly either.

Actually, it wasn’t all your fault.

It started long before you were born; let’s say 2008.

Yes, that’s when things started to really go wrong with my health, and impacted my job

My independence was threatened and then taken away

My heart would be put through so many tests and trials

My strength and courage was tested to the limits

I was pushed and pulled in so many directions, some times I didn’t know which way was up.

Then in 2010, it all steadily rolled downhill for me

My world collapsed as I knew it

Hospitals, medication, learning to walk again

Physical therapy, every week doctor visits

Money going out and sometimes no money coming in

It wasn’t all bad

Yes, my heart was broken so many times

Love walked out of my life like I was nothing, left me feeling useless, worthless and unloved,

But when a door closes, a window opens

My darkness was suddenly flooded with the light of my true friends and family

Who lifted me up and gave me the strength to keep pushing on

No matter what the obstacle, we pushed through it.

Now, pushing is a way of life.

Can’t isn’t in my vocabulary any more,

Neither is ‘won’t’ unless it comes to defining my boundaries

With so many strong role models and angels to look up to, how can I let them down by giving up?

No, I keep going because they believe in me more than I do.

I keep reaching because they know I can do it and have convinced me too.

Their faith has rekindled mine, their love has reminded me that I am not alone.

I never would have made it without them.

But 2011, I’m ready to let you go and face whatever obstacles still lie ahead for me in 2012

I know it isn’t going to be smooth sailing, but I know how to handle that boat now.

I know it won’t be all roses, but I’ve been tending the garden, and there are all sorts of

Beautiful flowers buried in that soil just waiting for spring.

I don’t see myself alone in this world anymore, searching for meaning and destiny

I see myself climbing a stairway and stopping on the landings in between

To gaze out over where I’ve been and who has helped me get this far

I smile and turn to the stair with the strength and will to keep climbing….

One day I’ll reach the floor that has the path to my life’s goal.

I just haven’t seen it yet.

I’m so lucky and grateful for all of you

For sharing my world and being my friends these last two years

I love you and thank you for your inspiration and prayers.

I hope that this year yields more Sunshine and less rain.

For all of us.

*note: for those who commented before 12-17-2011 0120 - I deleted the end of this as you will note - it was actually a mistake on my part. I wrote this very late in MSWord last night, (overwriting a file and renaming it) and accidentally copied part of the file that I was overwriting. What I deleted was the end of the poem "The Man Beneath the Roots " another one of my hubs. I'm sorry for that.