Broken Home: a short poem about family

Door Downtown

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Broken Home

Sticking & pricking

the sensitive spots,

there's an art,

to the way that they fought.

They punch for a punch,

and jab for a jab,

unable to see

where the punishment lands.

Their young girl stands

with love for her doll,

more love in her hands

than storming the halls.

Hastily pacing,

back and forth they go.

Backbiting, bickering.

She's not here for the show.

Go darling. Don't listen

to the things that they say.

Be a big girl.

Close your ears and just play.


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Comments 16 comments

LVidoni5 profile image

LVidoni5 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon Author

Thank you betty, I really appreciate the kind and genuine comment. It's nice to meet you too! I will see you around the Hubs. Blessings to you --Brian


bettybarnesb profile image

bettybarnesb 4 years ago from Bartlett, TN

You are a very gifted writer because you write from your heart. I also want to thank you for following me. So great to meet you! Blessing and peace to you and your family.


LVidoni5 profile image

LVidoni5 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon Author

Sueswan thank you so much. I'm really glad you liked it. Have a blessed Sunday. --Brian


Sueswan 4 years ago

Beautiful and sensitive.

"A young girl holding

love for her doll

more love contained

than that walking the halls"

My heart broke when I read these words. Voted up.


LVidoni5 profile image

LVidoni5 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon Author

Thanks giftedwriter!

Thanks for the comment Drtruth, appreciate a comment from someone who deals with this sort of stuff on the regular. Take care --Brian


Drtruthman profile image

Drtruthman 4 years ago from Harlingen, Texas

Love the poem, it really flows and addresses a topic only too familiar to me as a counselor. Great job. I voted up and interesting.


giftedwriter86 profile image

giftedwriter86 4 years ago from new castle ,de

i do like this one alot..its like a back and forth type flow to it!


LVidoni5 profile image

LVidoni5 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon Author

Thanks True! Glad you enjoy it... My style's really just a cop-out though, lol short lil rhyming poems are the easiest thing for me to do. But Thank You!


Trueshortstories profile image

Trueshortstories 4 years ago from Canada

Interesting and great expression. I like your style of writing.


LVidoni5 profile image

LVidoni5 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon Author

A visionary... whew. I don't know about that but I will surely take that compliment. Thanks so much Jinny!


JinnyMarte 4 years ago

Well it is always a pleasure Brian. You are after all a visionary and have a great heart. Hope you are well aware of that.


LVidoni5 profile image

LVidoni5 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon Author

Thank you so much V! I'm gad you liked it and it could be some what relatable. Always appreciate your good words.

@Evilangel- Thanks!

@Sky- Well I'm glad you like it enough to read it twice! Ha thanks for the support Sky. Always good to have you stop by. And the last comment about blushing... lol I'm sure she'll take that as a good compliment.

Hello Jinny! Really appreciate all the nice comments on this one. I'm glad you could find it so touching... I know this one reaches a lil closer to home for some, so I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the encouragement, it's always well received coming from you. Blessings- Brian


JinnyMarte 4 years ago

Brian this is really thoughtful and filled with sensitivity. You managed to capture the essence of a serious situation that affects so many in the family core from the eye of the ones who suffer the most from this domestic disturbances. Your words are delicate yet direct and they really touch a fiber deep inside. You know I have reasons to really dig what you wrote here. A touch of genius with a compassive heart. You're reaching sky limits with this one...like V said Up and away indeed! Beautiful work and please keep 'em coming!

Love, J.


Sky9106 profile image

Sky9106 4 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

Just finished my tour and saw that V love the very same lines I love .

It's a beautiful poem with a great feel.

I read it twice for that said reason.

Well done LVidoni. I blush when I look at V just things pictures sometimes throws at readers.

Bless.


Evilangel363 profile image

Evilangel363 4 years ago from Gothic Realm

nice :)


V Qisya 4 years ago

"A young girl holding

love for her doll

more love contained

than that walking the halls".

Your fine work touched my heart so deeply. Reminded me of someone I knew. Simply awesome, Brian. I loved it! Up and away :D

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