Deathly Calm

No where to run

DEATHLY CALM

Cold winter nights,so stricken ,so bold
Carrying a chill of stories to be told.
Eerily quiet,occasional rustle
In the night song of rage and bustle.
Cold cutting wind,fills you with dread
Can I escape it?,will i end up dead.
Never ending,ghostly,faceless and wrong
Relying on the breeze to carry its song
Not a sound to be heard,pounding heart
Will I ever be normal,where would I start.
Always been an outsider,a loner I'd say
Making new friends,getting harder each day.
Tough love from some,pity from others
Most of the time,no one really bothers.
Left to do your thing,pass through life,get on
Is it all lies,an elaborate con.
Life carries on regardless of your state
Some good and bad days,missing the date.
Each day as I leave,pick a face I can use
Hope it impresses,not open to abuse.
Trying so hard,please everyone, keep the peace
Hoping my heartache will never increase.
Banging my head of the hardest brick wall
I know the inevitability,I'm sure to take a fall.
I can feel my heart as it escapes from my chest
Feel like I will never get a chance to rest.
Am I destined for tragedy,will I live to smile
Will I get taken quickly,or wait a while.
I often ponder,think and digest
Outlive this person,will life continue to test
While I watch others luck shared unevenly throughout the rest.
These questions I cannot answer till further in time
Hopefully not all bad,maybe some days will be fine.

Way out of sinc.

Days pass me by sometimes and I have no recollection about them.my days are usually the same old same old,but then one day the boring routine gets a kick up the backside. It's a good thing ,as you can get stagnant in a certain mood,sometimes a jolt in the right area is a good thing. Just what the Doctor ordered as the saying goes. A change is as good as a holiday they say. I kind of agree,only sometimes depending on what the change is,let's you know if it's a welcome one or not.

I'm not always a fan of change to my routine,due to the depression I tend to like things the way they are,but when the occasion arises,and I need to alter my day,I do it grudgingly,then when I look at it afterwards,I tend to think it was not so bad.

Confused state.

Solutions are achievable.

Most problems in life do have an ending or a resolution. I have came across major problems initially they seemed,then after logical thought and time,it tends not to be such a big problem after all. Someone or something is in reach that usually can mend the problem for you. Sometimes it's at a major cost to yourself emotionally or financially,other times the solution is free. I know from experience that most issues you face in life are attainable,it just is down to you which approach you take to solve it. I think the most important thing you need is a level head,if your an emotional person,your chances of dealing with a problem intensify,and take longer to fix. Then the problem just seems to multiply. A level head helps solve the issue faster.

Which way?

Maybe yes,maybe no.

bewildered,confused,upended and uneasy

a feeling in your stomach makes you feel queezy

not knowing what to do,or where to go

throws you off greatly,you may never know.

try solutions,amendments,touches,and tinker

in life you're always known as the thinker.

your a solver of problems,a fixer of breaks

testing your emotions,genuine not fakes.

known for your savvy,your acumen and skill

you hope it let's you embrace the thrill.

Life's biggest tests.

many years ago I was very close to a work colleague,one day he comitted suicide just out of the blue. He had been at my house less than a week previously. I struggled to ascertain why he took such extreme actions. He seemed a happy go lucky guy. Always the helper,never the user. He was found by a family friend with no indication of why he did what he did. That's the strange thing,most psychologists will tell you that, if a person intends to take their own life,they seem absolutely normal. No outward signs of upset or distress. A psychologist I spoke to soon after the incident told me,the person had already made up their mind to do it,and we're at peace with their decision,I still don't really see this logic,but I do understand and why she said it.one of life's great puzzles no doubt.

Choices,choices.

Any indication.

If you knew a person was going to commit suicide,what would you do?

See results without voting

Years ago.

from a personal experience many years ago.i came across a guy at the end of his tether,.he intimated to me,he wanted to end it,he reckoned he had nothing to live for. I sat at the roadside for 10 hours trying to talk my friend out of killing himself. After the ninth hour of reasoning with him,I sensed a breakthrough in his cold exterior. I told him there was plenty of reasons not to kill himself,and no reason to kill himself. I told him he'd be sorely missed not just by me,but by other friends also. I tried with all my being to instill some hope in his fractured mental state. It ended in tears and hugs,thankfully he's still a good friend to this day.one of my happier moments.

Twirling.

up,down,spinning round

feel like crying,emotions astound.

topsy turvy,bent out of shape

head wide open,no superhero cape

tested fully,back and forward

edgy and uneasy,truly awkward.

not sure of anything,trusting no one

feel your edgy,at the point of a gun.

i try so hard,I fight the pain

im sure one day I'm due to attain.

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1 comment

LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 2 years ago from Somewhere in the West

Hi Bigj1969 I am sure God can answer all of your questions and relieve you of all your burdens only if you let go and let Him. You poem is very deep and sends off different kinds of emotions.

I hope you feel better and whatever is troubling you be removed :)

Shalom and Peace be unto you

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