A fathers pain

Daddy doesn't live here anymore...

Pastels...one to another

a joy to behold...to gently enfold

soft and lovely...a gift from above

she lights up the darkness...a gentle dove



one round in the chamber

five rounds in my hand

this gun can take a human life

this gun can kill a man


two rounds in the chamber

four rounds waiting still

the treasure of my life I've lost

it's time to pay the bill


three rounds in the chamber

three rounds I still see

I need my end so badly

if this would set me free


four rounds in the chamber

two rounds soaked with sweat

relieve me of this torment

and free me from this debt


five rounds in the chamber

one gleaming in my eye

somehow I must finish this

somehow I must die

Boom Boom...Bang Bang...Lay down,you're dead.


"Ya dispatch,we're at the scene now...hell of a mess on the mirror
...definitely a suicide."

"Hey Joey,check out this newspaper article on the bed...pretty girl raped and murdered...same last name as this guy...must of been his kid.Huh,where was he when That was going down?"

"Hey,why would a guy put five rounds in a gun to shoot himself once?"

"I don't know...nut job I guess.We're done here,let's go get some lunch."


What is a father to do?

When he loses his daughter this way?

But follow after her...

To beg forgiveness...

For not having been there...

When she needed him most...

More by this Author


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 5 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas

Your writing is always intriguing and it is a pleasure to read your Hubs. I had to go back a couple of times, and it is still on my mind. Thanks. Happy New Year, 2011 and beyond

Karen Wodke profile image

Karen Wodke 5 years ago from Midwest


vrbmft profile image

vrbmft 5 years ago from Yucaipa, California

Happy New Year, Dean

This reminds me of Dr. Frederick Miller who shot himself in the mouth on January 06, 1970, in his office. He was an obstetrician, one of the last old time doctors in this area. A very kind and gentle doctor. He himself was not very old and no one knows for sure why, but he killed himself in his personal office which so happens to be my personal office now.

I often wonder what was going on for him in general and what was going on at the moment of leaving us. He left a note on the door to his nurse, "Do not come in, call sheriff."

So the story is tru!

happy new year, friend

Love and peace


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 5 years ago

Even with a bullet in it - his head was clear as a bell!

GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California

Dean! Happy New Year my friend!!! Well, you never cease to amaze me! I did feed my head and I thought of the shooting range I went to a while ago where I almost got killed! Well anyway, I love the way you take chances in your writing. Intense but good "thinking material." You have a very intriguing side to you. You take chances and this is what makes you so damn cool! This is going to be a great year! Right? Best, G

aslanlight profile image

aslanlight 5 years ago from England

Very powerful and you have an excellent use of language, rhythm and flow.

Ben Zoltak profile image

Ben Zoltak 5 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA

Ah, I dated this girl, she jumped off a barstool...we called it done.

Cool read Cheaptrick.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

Wow, just caught my breath to say...that was good, morbid, but very, very good! And thanks for stopping by my Hub.

Kylo88 profile image

Kylo88 5 years ago from dc

wow. deep. that's crazy how you right like that! it's so dark. and the part where the two just shrug it off and go get lunch is fairly accurate. but i love the poem! and the end part is very gripping. i like it alot! keep it up! ^_^

donotfear profile image

donotfear 5 years ago from The Boondocks

Incredibly dark, as you are, my friend, Cheaptrickey...! Is that you in your new avatar? Hmmmmm....I bet. As usual, you taken this maze in many directions leaving the reader in a confused state. Keep it up, it's becoming, you rascal.

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

I had to read this twice because it was morbid and yet it was so well written. It was the ending but I guess surprised me with the police acting so nonchalant at a murder scene.

Anne Pettit profile image

Anne Pettit 5 years ago from North Carolina

Whoa. Well done

cheaptrick profile image

cheaptrick 4 years ago from the bridge of sighs Author

Thank you for all your generous comments...though I don't really deserve them.

A poem like this wells up and demands its self.

I had no other choice.

Ben Zoltak profile image

Ben Zoltak 4 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA

Rapid fire prose for a conceal and carry country I like it man.

Stay green


Mena 22 months ago

A perfect reply! Thanks for taking the truelbo.

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