You can't say that

In the current world in which we all live in, political correctness has became a way of life. There are certain terms which shouldn't be said, and there are certain things which just shouldn't be done.

You certainly don't want to yell out the word Bingo during a Bingo game when you don't have it on your card, and you don't run into a crowded firehouse and holler movie. It's also not very funny to pull a fortune out of a Chinese fortune cookie, which reads "Oops... wrong cookie".

There are certain politically correct terms, which I can't stand to hear. Phases like user friendly, down sizing, and the word issues. If there's a problem don't call it an issue. After all a problem is a problem. An issue is a copy of a magazine or a daily newspaper. Instead of reinventing words just simply say what you mean.

Where I'm employed it has become politically incorrect to smoke inside anymore. I guess the good thing is that we all can still smoke, but it's outside now. During the Springtime, and fall of the year it's not all that bad. But it's a totally different story in the hot Summer time, and the cold Wintertime of the year.

We have little smoking booths for those foul weather days at work, and we all have an agreement and a standing rule for when we must be inside of them. It's a simple rule, but I'm going to have to use the "F" word to explain it - "If you have to fart then take it outside".

Something happened just the other day at work, which at the time wasn't all that funny. However when we all look back at what happened, we can't stop laughing. Hopefully it will be just as funny when it's turned into a hub here.

With foul weather upon us now we all had to take refuge inside of one of the smoking huts. When inside the golden rule must be followed. One of our coworkers decided he better step outside, and so he did. He wasn't the least bit upset that he had to leave the smoking hut with us and simply just made himself at home outside in the crisp cool morning air. We all could see him, from inside the smoking hut, just standing there puffing on a cigarette looking up at the morning sky, and just enjoying life to it's fullest. When we all noticed that all of a sudden he picked up his right leg and shook it as if he was trying to shake something out of his pants leg. We weren't so sure what was going on at this point, and someone yelled "What are you doing?". He acknowledged that he was just freshening up the outdoor air.

Now this is where the really strange part came into play, and still nobody quite understands why. Possibly it was just human curiosity that just got the best of everyone that was inside the smoking hut. But one thing was for sure, and that is that all of those people who were in the warm heated smoking hut started to file out into the cold air, like a bunch of zombies, and surrounded him in a circle. They then all exchanged pleasantries back and forth out in the cold air. Of coarse the topic being discussed at this point was what our coworker had just accomplished. He was like a proud parent of a newborn baby, and didn't hesitate for one minute on giving out any of the details of his exploits to us. After everyone seemed satisfied with his version of what just happened, they all dispersed and went about their daily routine.

Now if someone was not familiar with all of this, and saw this for the very first time, they might think that they were watching an episode about how primates interact amongst one another in the wild on a National Geographic show on the History channel. The announcer would of probably narrated the television show something like this - "The primates fascination level finally reached the point where they had to leave their warm surroundings to investigate the interesting situation, which was just outside their perimeter. Their eager desire to learn from the outsider had got the best of their interest in primate affairs of others. The smaller primates then all of a sudden surrounded the bigger primate in a tight circle and chanted to him "Do it again, do it again". The bigger primate had no problem sharing his passion with his new found friends. The entire group of primates now satisfied with their new found talent returned back to their warm surroundings and licked themselves to sleep."

This could probably be an entire 30 minute show or even possibly an entire series on The History Channel just like Ice Road Truckers or the Alaskan Bush People. Besides the whole premise of that show is simply about a person driving from point A to point B in the snow. What's the big deal, we've all done it, and people watch it on television. Give a show like this an opportunity, and people might watch it as well.

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Comments 16 comments

lauramaryscott profile image

lauramaryscott 4 years ago from Boise, Idaho

TheHoleStory, I'm glad, as I am certain you are too, that it was only fragrant hot air with no brown runny stuff.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

This is why men enjoy having a place where women are not allowed, so we can scratch ourselves, swear, belch, and fart all we please.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

This is why men enjoy having a place where women are not allowed, so we can scratch ourselves, swear, belch, and fart all we please.


rcrumple profile image

rcrumple 4 years ago from Kentucky

There are two facts that must be considered: 1) If we couldn't do it we'd explode, and 2) From the odor that generally accompanies, tis better to come out that end than the other! Great & Interesting Hub!


tsadjatko profile image

tsadjatko 4 years ago from maybe (the guy or girl) next door

What gets me is the people who are the first to advocate political correctness have no problem with telling lies and even lying about lying! Lying, I guess is PC.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

LOL....great story...I especially like the comments from rcrumple and WillStarr....funny stuff.


Emily40 profile image

Emily40 4 years ago

Love it! you're a great story teller, and an interesting one too!!!!

LMAO@WillStarr


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

Ha! I can just see this conversation and the events right now.


alancaster149 profile image

alancaster149 4 years ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

We've had a smoking ban within public venues (offices, pubs, theatres, restaurants etc) for around half a decade. Outside offices people just have to find what shelter they can, as most buildings within the city were built well before that and the architects couldn't foresee 'political correctness' coming. Suburban pubs have shelters of sorts, with seating. City pub-goers have to take the same risk as they did in the office. Most cafes out of town have gardens where they have 'gazebos' (open shelters). If you think you've got restrictions, think on this: here you can't talk about business to your boss after 3pm on Fridays. He/she is already in weekend mode by then, polishing up his/her golf putting! - only kidding. We've got the same limits (somebody copied them down onto paper and brought them back here).

However, (surprise, surprise) *firemen have been told not to rescue animals from trees, on account of not being trained to do so, policemen have been told not to prosecute vicars driving using their mobile phones and rescue personnel have been told not to save people on mountains below 2,000 feet.

*Spot the real one between these three. First answer gets a free tow-rope for their car.


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 4 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Thanks for today's best belly laugh!


William Young profile image

William Young 4 years ago from Eaglle Grove, Iowa

That was a great article! I get so tired of the political correctness in this country, so any time that I can rebel against it, it's a good day! By the way, I didn't know that you could get into trouble for yelling "Movie!" at a firehouse, I'll make a mental note---they just won't let people have fun anymore!


jonmcclusk profile image

jonmcclusk 4 years ago from Cinnaminson, New Jersey

My brother once had a fortune say "Cookies need sleep too, try again later." This article reminded me of that time, good read.


btrbell profile image

btrbell 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

Funny story!


Natural World profile image

Natural World 4 years ago from Oklahoma 2012

Funny stuff... and I, too, hate political correctness. Let's just say what we mean and mean what we say so there are no misunderstandings. Thanks for the laugh.


PaisleeGal profile image

PaisleeGal 3 years ago from Memphis, Tennessee, USA

Funny Hub!!!


justmesuzanne profile image

justmesuzanne 3 years ago from Texas

Cute info! One time I was filling out an online profile for a website that offered a choice of avatars. I chose a photo of a guinea pig for my avatar, and I wanted my user name to be Guinea the Pooh because I used to have a guinea pig named that. When I entered that choice, I got a big warning message that said, "You can't say that!" WTH? Why have a picture of a guinea pig and then not let users say "guinea"? LOL!

Voted up and funny! :)

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