Emperor Rage: A Short Story: Part One




Revenge is my light, Revenge is my right.

Revenge so sweet, Revenge so nice.

To put things right.

I'll pay any price.

To break any might.


Some time after the Second Resurrection, but before the Gender Transition of Christ.

The Great Lord Master Rage had been kind enough to grant an interview to the Solaraxia InfoBlip Photon Beam Service. Transmitting to zillions of households across the galaxies since 40,132 S.C.C. (Sex Change of Christ).

The man on the spot was the senior political editor for the Harmony Quadrant, Lonely Worship.

Lonely and his crew touched down at the Rainbow City Space Port, on New Terraformed Saturn, the new imperial capital center. Emperor Rage had provided that the reporter and his entourage be brought to him, at the Diamond-Wafer Palace atop his mountain stronghold.

The caravan was escorted by a detachment of His Majesty's crack shock troops: tall, straight, proud, and brightly-uniformed warriors all. Led by the tallest, straightest, proudest, most brightly-uniformed warrior of them all: the Dread Captain Lord Ice-Fire.

You would think traveling atop a genetically engineered flying shark is uncomfortable. But you'd be wrong. Skin so smooth and silky. They exude a special odorless, non-greasy chemical that makes it impossible for you to slip off.

They flew low, merely dozens of feet above the ground. The air smelled like eucalyptus and peppermint. Streams of luminously-attired citizens came out to greet them. Even some of the wildlife seemed to present themselves at attention, almost as if awaiting review.

It was night-cycle on New Saturn. But the night is never dark and dreary on this world. For there is the endless rhythm of incandescent, multi-colored explosion.

The entire caravan prostrated themselves at the feet of the Great Lord Master Rage, who greeted Lonely and his crew with all the magnanimous warmth of the most gracious of hosts. Then, addressing himself specifically to Lonely, the monarch asked how he'd enjoyed his journey to the Palace and what he thought of New Terraformed Saturn so far.

"Magnificent," Lonely said.

"Our whole planet put on a little show just for you."

Then, assorted staff breezed the two of them along to the spot where the interview would take place. Cosmetic Control descended upon the pair to do the make up.

Once that was done, the equipment all set up, and everything ready to go, Lonely welcomed viewers to the program, thanking them for tuning in. He gave his name, title, and network affiliation. He introduced the interviewee, giving his full regal title in all solemnity.

"My Liege, thank you for making some time for us today."

"Not at all, Lonely. Not at all. Always happy to accommodate a journalist of your stature. And please, call me Rage."

Then Lonely did it. He giggled like a school girl and blushed a beet red. Right then, right there. In full view of zillions.

Nothing to be done about it now. They were broadcasting live.

Lonely Worship had always been a sharp dresser. Not a hair out of place. Well put together. He favored distinctive, if not overly loud, color combinations to really mark himself out of the crowd.

But times had changed. Adapt or die. And Lonely, ever the bootlick to power, was experimenting with a more understated, more rough-hewn, slightly unkempt approach seemingly favored by their new imperial masters.

Lonely began by congratulating Rage on his ascension. Leaving out for the time being, the multi-world slaughter and devastation his forces had wrought to bring him to this point. New Mars, for example, might be habitable again, one day, a century or so from now.

Lonely extracted a general biography for background: family background, education, first interest in politics, mentors, protégés. That kind of thing. They talked in general terms about Rage's governing philosophy, plans for his administration, kinds of policies he would advocate for, and reforms he would implement.

Then, the senior political editor turned the forum entirely over to the new emperor. To speak in his own words. Unfiltered and uncensored. To explain and justify himself. To say why he had commenced the insurrection. To say why he had brought down such furious wrath upon worlds.

End of Part One.

Thank you for reading and stay tuned for part two.

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cam8510 profile image

cam8510 22 months ago from Colorado Springs, CO until the end of March

Absurdly funny, creative and entertaining. So much detail, it seems real. Great job, wingedcentaur.

wingedcentaur profile image

wingedcentaur 22 months ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things! Author

Thanks, Cam! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Take care. :)

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