Forces, a poem

Copyright 2011, Christopher Mayer
Copyright 2011, Christopher Mayer

o'er and o'er the Mountain flows
down the musty ravages of Time.
i stand at the brink and watch
the crystal Water plummet.
it falls to a white foamy Death
where nothing is as it should be.
my Heart pumps Warmth through
my conscious body.
my Soul battles Temptation as
i stand listening to the moaning Wind.

Poem copyright 1994, Christopher Mayer

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Comments 3 comments

maven101 profile image

maven101 5 years ago from Northern Arizona

Adjective overload leading to a pondering insignificance...A cascade of formless words that rush to the bottom...

A lovers leap to mediocrity...Voted up for effort...Larry

Crifmer profile image

Crifmer 5 years ago from Teaneck, NJ Author

I can appreciate the craft of the comment, while the contents themselves remain unappreciated.

Criticism is better when constructive, but thanks for voting it up.

random poet 5 years ago

maven101 strikes again. Nice cartoon English teacher criticism, Larry.

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