Funny excuses for 1st Jan leave

When I opened my eyes on 1^st Jan, I was scared to go to office. It was not because of upcoming New Year’s celebrations. I am a team leader and according to the business protocol, I am the person responsible to make sure that my whole team is present and working. I was scared to pick up my mobile because I was sure that people would have sent me their excuses for the leave. And thanks to my team members, it happened. I had many excuses lined up for the day. I had production hour shrinkage to deal with but there were many excuses which actually made me to smile. I have shared a few, read it and enjoy.

1. My Mother got missing: The one which started the series of funny excuses was this one. The guy sent me an SMS that his mother is missing. My reaction was ‘What?’ I called him and he said that his mother is missing. I asked whether he has launched any FIR. He said ‘No’ because father is out to find her. I asked him that how he can be so reluctant about it. He replied that her mother has done it in past as well. I disconnected the phone thanking her mother to get missing on 1^st Jan.

2. A monkey has blocked my house-gate: I called the guy and asked to clarify the situation. He said that a monkey is sitting near gate and is not ready to go. He added that he was too scared to go out.I scolded him and asked whether you are a man or a girl who is scared of a monkey. I ordered him to drive the monkey away. But he started crying. ‘Wow!’ a boy is scared of a damn monkey and is not ready to come out of the house. It is awesome.

3. Cannot find the dress: This girl is so innocent. She informed me that she cannot make to the office today because she cannot find the dress which she was supposed to wear today. She described that how painful it was to hand-wash this dress and now she couldn’t find it. I asked her to come to office in any dress. But she sounded so jittery that I was confused whether she has misplaced her dress or skin.

4. Cancer: A girl from my team dropped me a text that she thinks that she has breast-cancer and she cannot come to office today. She added in the text that she will be on time from tomorrow onwards. I called her and some boy picked up. I asked him that whether I can speak with the girl. And the boy said that she is taking bath. I asked about her well-being and boy answered that she is not well, sever cough-cold. I disconnected the phone. Poor girl forgot to discuss the reason of leave with her boyfriend.

5. A mouse is in trouble: One of the guys sent me an SMS to let me know that he cannot come to office because a mouse has inhabited his Bike’s silencer and is not ready to come out. ‘Excuse me.’ I called him to ask him whether he is serious. He sounded so concerned over the phone. He said that mouse is perhaps stuck in there and a mechanic has been called. I had my hand on my head. I asked him ‘Dude’ take a public transport. And you won’t believe what he answered…he said that can’t come because he doesn’t want that mouse to die.

6. I am locked: I saved the best one for the last. Guy called me when 2 hours of the shift was left and said that he was locked inside his room. I asked how that is possible. He told me that he was playing chor (thief) - Police with his son and he locked him in the room and went to the market with his mother. And he lives on the seventh floor so it was impossible to come out through window. He also added that he had no mobile with him as it was kept in his living room.

I was astonished by the excuses. Worthless to say, all of them were marked absent. I was dazzled that mature people like them can make such excuses which do not stand anywhere. I only wanted to tell them that at least make some good excuses so that I can convince my managers that all of the people who are absent have genuine cause. Please share if you have faced such situation ever in life.