I Beg Your Pardon--Go Buy Your Ads!

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The joke's on the ladies

as they stand and peer at their reflections;

Putting on an air of

"this one is...just right."


And dowdy, frowzy,

second-hand they look,

While the designers laugh

in line at the bank.


Now insult to injury add--

these coveted labels, prominently displayed...

On jeans the worst: riding upon your rear

for all behind to see.


Excuse me, Mr. Calvin Klein,

Miss Gloria Vanderbilt et al....

For these duds you charge a hefty price...

and the wearer pays you to advertise your product ?


Allow me to educate you, designers all:

that's not how advertising works; ads are bought!

So, if you want your ad to appear where I sit--

Then it's I who must be paid to wear your pants!


Thanks, but no thanks, designer crew--

your tawdry fashions I'll eschew.

I'll find my comfortable duds

sans labels sporting designer's mugs.


At the hardware store, I'll buy my jeans...

and once at home,

Still rip those labels off the seat!



© 1988 By C. E. (Carl) Elias

revised 10-11-12

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Comments 7 comments

Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

DML...I worked in a clothing plant many moons ago. The cloth came in one door and the labels through the other. We cut 'em all out of the same cloth and sewed them all on the same machines. At least those were made in the USA which is more than I can say for the ones you mentioned. Who would think that someday someone would pay $150 for ragged, faded jeans made in Indonesia...big profits here! Thanks for sharing! WB


bonnebartron profile image

bonnebartron 6 years ago from never one place for too long

its not so much the price, but quality.... not so much the label, but the art...


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 6 years ago from Oakley, CA Author

Wayne, I know--I've always suspected as much!

bonnebarton, I've never seen much quality difference in 'designer' jeans, and hardware store jeans. At the time I wrote this, Ben Davis and 'Dickies' brands sold in hardware stores (OSH e.g.) were still made in USA.

As for 'art' Personally, I see nothing of art in stuff that looks like it belongs in the rag bag. To each his own, I reckon. ;-) Thanks for stopping by!


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 6 years ago from United States

In this day of cookie cutter pigeon holes for people the world we have created tries to clothe us in sameness...

Very much enjoyed. :)


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

Too funny and true! Thumbs up!


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Bravo! Beautifully done! By the way- "Such Deadly Embarrassment" doesn't have a comment box. Anyhoo- this was very well done! Thank you Ma'am!


RisingBreeze profile image

RisingBreeze 6 years ago

Nicely written! I completely agree.

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