Lynn and her children did move to Iowa City where she lived for the next thirteen years. Her children grew to love the city and had many more cultural advantages both in school and in meeting people from all over the world. Lynn’s life too was enriched by the many people she met through work that had come to the United States for their educations and she was privileged to learn of their many customs and beliefs. The enthusiasm of the students was contagious and led her to explore many avenues of learning and later to pull out her old friend, writing, as a means of expressing what she saw and felt.

She met and married a dear man with whom she continues to share her life. They met at work and were married a little more than a year after meeting, some twenty-three years ago. As they grow old, together, she is blessed to have peace in her life and as much certainty as anyone does.

Each of her children gave her the most wonderful gift of grandchildren and this has been a continued journey of laughter, love and absolute delight. The childhood that escaped her when she should have been allowed to be a child, is now lived at every turn as she experiences life through their eyes.

As for Bobby and their relationship, they would see each other again on a few occasions. It was always a bittersweet meeting and she is thankful to this day for his friendship and caring. For a short time she was allowed the feelings of a young girl while they were together and she experienced the feelings that might have come to her at an earlier age had her life as a young mother and wife not begun so early. Bobby saw her through different eyes than anyone had before and that allowed her the beginnings of seeing herself as worthy of happiness and love.

There has been speculation about the title of these memoirs and who it is that she still looks for. Some were concerned that she still looks over her shoulder fearing Bill will reappear. Others thought that she still looks for Bobby. Another, the author, believes she still looks for herself. She finds bits and pieces as years go by and glues them back together in a crazy quilt pattern that is leading to the discovery of who she is and what her life has been about. She takes out one memory after another as if it was a snapshot and looks closely at the person or people present there. Some she finds are out of focus and it is difficult to determine when it took place and how it fits with the others. Some, however, are as sharp as a razor’s edge and a few, are a double edged razor, that still tears at her heart and mind. But she will keep searching and she will keep making memories, more slowly now and a bit more carefully, always hoping that the lives that have touched hers are more complete for the meeting.

More by this Author


    For my readers who have been following the "I Still Look For You" memoir, this is a peek at the final chapter. I don't know of an author who didn't see the end coming to their own story, but this happened to...

Comments 19 comments

Enlydia Listener profile image

Enlydia Listener 5 years ago from trailer in the country

Lives are a patchwork of things like you have mentioned...Yes, I think some of the pictures appear foggy because the mind couldn't take it all in while living it...I like the way you write and will read more.

Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge Author

Why thank-you very much for reading and for the comment. There are 23 other parts to this memoir and I chose to end it here so that I can move on to other projects. It doesn't feel complete, but then it won;t until I can hopefully gather up all the pieces of all of the other stories and put them in a book.

Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 5 years ago from I don't know half the time

Great Hub :)

Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge Author

Thanks a lot Leptirela - appreciate your comment and your time to read.

Enlydia Listener profile image

Enlydia Listener 5 years ago from trailer in the country

Dear Poohgranma...after reading this, I went back and read them all...I think I have been reading your life for the last few hours, and I am glad I did. You are not only an honest writer, but you are an exceptional writer...you really should consider some type of publishing.

Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge Author

What a compliment that you would go back and read all of this, I am amazed. I do have dreams of publishing a book that would include this and other parts of my life but it would take a really good editor to work with me on correcting errors. I will be working at it, may as well give it a shot yes, all one can say is yes or no. Thank-you for your confidence.

Enlydia Listener profile image

Enlydia Listener 5 years ago from trailer in the country

Just by reading through all of it, I would say that you would not need a lot of help with editing. You are an articulate writer...and I found no errors so far. I feel you tell a story well.

Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge Author

Thank you again for your affirming message.

SomewayOuttaHere profile image

SomewayOuttaHere 5 years ago from TheGreatGigInTheSky

...finally found some peace and happiness...yes, I like that - looking for you through the lense of different times of your life....thanks for sharing this...it's been a great read!

LIsa.Bom 5 years ago

Awesome series. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading all of them.

Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge Author

What an honor - I didn't even realize you were reading them. Thanks so much!

Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

Dearest Pooh. Your memoirs have touched my soul in such a deep way. I am a better person since reading your story. You have touched and educated and helped many by your courage in sharing. I am so happy that you met a good man to love and be loved. You've come a long way baby. I loved watching Lynn grow in confidence and realize she was important. Having children and being married so young, I understand how all of it was confusing and didn't make a lot of room for self-exploration in her earlier days. I love who Lynn has become and now here is a HUGE HUG! Thanks so much for sharing and you must make this into a book. It will be a best seller.

Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge Author

It has been a journey hasn't it? My favorite part was finding such nice people and new friends along the way. Having people share in the writing of this, with their comments, often gave me new perspective on old issues. I felt validated on so many occasions where before there was self doubt. You have all helped me write this and I could do on and I could have gone into more detail on many of the chapters but that may come some day, and yes, maybe in the form of a book. I have a lot of work to do but I will enjoy it, I believe. Thank-you my dear friend.

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 5 years ago

Nice, nice, nice. Thank you Pooh. God bless dear!

stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Dear Phoenix : Maybe sometimes it takes traumatic experiences for us in our lives before we can dearly appreciate the wonderful beauty that is always around us. Some folks are blessed to see the beauty of life all their lives, and that is wonderful. I hope, and pray that God will grant you the inner peace you deserve, and that you will have many wonderful future years of joy with your children, grand children , and fine husband until God recieves you all in Heaven. God Bless You.Great hub.

Scarlett My Dear profile image

Scarlett My Dear 5 years ago from Missouri

Pooh, I don't like saying good-bye to "I still look for you". I agree with the author, that perhaps she searches for herself among the scraps, as she pieces together a life.

You have certainly enlightened those who read here, whether through a shared story or your fighting spirit. You've left your mark where it means the most ~ in your children, in your friends, in those who just happened by. That's the way of life, abundant in pain, as well as joy.

Love and Happiness in your journey! We'd love it if you invite us along. ~Scarlett

Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge Author

Micky Dee, stars and Scarlett - what an extreme pleasure it is to have all of you come and read. Stars, you are so wise and I agree with you completely! Scarlett, I have a certain sadness in closing this part of my journey as well, but if I am to connect all of the others and fill in the gaps, I almost have to end it this way. I have relived and enjoyed the beauty and love of this time and come to understand it for what it was. That alone, was worth the write. But I have also made new friends who now surround me with support and caring and hopefully have touched the heart of another who may have similar circumstances and hopefully can find their way out. It isn't until you are free that you can look back and realize just how insane it is to live in such chaos or how much damage has been done to everyone involved. I pray that we all heal.

Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

What a great and inspiring story. I love the patchwork quilt of memory and the joy in her present life. I don't know how I missed this before. Thanks Pooh. I was feeling kind of tired tonight and am now rejuvenated.

Seafarer Mama profile image

Seafarer Mama 5 years ago from New England

Yes, the patchwork quilt imagery is very inspiring, and very comforting. We all have so many lives we lead in the course of our longer life's journey. Finding peace by putting together the quilt...letting it warm us with the love in it...is our hope for our present and future. how lovely. Voted Up and Beautiful.

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