Inhuman Affliction, Inflicted Inhumanely


We're overwhelmed again

Overhaul thought patterns

Again spread too thin

Exhausted, overexerted

Priorities undetermined

Backup may be needed

Call in the cavalry

The infantry is crushed

This battlefield is soaked

Overpowered and distraught

The enemy is flanking

Victory's chances dropping

Attempted success failed

Thrice we were stricken

Tempered steel was broken

Shattered shards of shields

Imprisonment is no option

We need no swords to kill

Weapons, numbers, tacticians

Irrelevant as we struggle

Our power lies within



my commander has fallen

my comrades strewn about

my battalion's surrounded

my eyes ignite with vengeance

you shall never have my fear

you've robbed me of all hope

you shall be left with none



I need not hope any longer

The horizon boasts no sun

No longer a man, I arise

From the bloodied field, alone

I summon storms above me

Lightning through your skin

The thunder claps around me

Now, cower as I begin

Comments 14 comments

QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 5 years ago

I need not hope any longer

The horizon boasts no sun

No longer a man, I arise

From the bloodied field, alone

I summon storms above me

Lightning through your skin

The thunder claps around me

Now, cower as I begin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bellisimo...


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Hm -This is an exercise in exercise, Ben. It's effective at that and good in a general way though it may not SPEAK as most of your work does. It is rather passive in its frantic confrontation. It's just my response to it, which is always honest. I'll read it again and see how it speaks.


aylee95 profile image

aylee95 5 years ago from Honolulu, HI.

@BenWritings

Hehe I like to comment. It lets them know I read it... I don't know whether to say "lucky" or nothing. Lucky because I wish my writing would be that good.. Nothing because when all I had/have was/is writing, it is kind of sad for me.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

always exploring - thanks again, so much

aylee - you comment EVERYTHING I write, and I appreciate that so very much. Writing seems to flow without effort for me. It's all I have.


aylee95 profile image

aylee95 5 years ago from Honolulu, HI.

It was exceptional! (Ooooh... big word... XD)

I just love how you rhyme everything and yet it is always so... natural sounding. Like you didn't even put any effort or thought into actually making it rhyme.

It was beutiful and wonderful and awesome!! ^o^


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

I have a feeling this was a battle but not on the battlefield....Our power lies within....Beautiful!!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Uriel - I didn't even have bleach in mind until I finished it, then I thought of his final transformation :] Thank you sooooo much for that lovely comment :D

Cardisa - thank you for all your reads and awesome comments

Bumpsys - I appreciate that very much


Bumpsysmum profile image

Bumpsysmum 5 years ago from Cambridgeshire

What a battle - poweful words eloquently expressed - the last few lines almost despair, definitely resignation :-)


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

I could almost see you with your bayonet and sword!


Uriel profile image

Uriel 5 years ago from Lebanon

Ben that was simply amazing. And the whole final scene between ichigo and aizen started playing in my head ahaaaaaaaaaaaa! I am officially going nuts here :D i mean i can see all the previous battles and with ichigo's grand entrance :D GOD that was epic and so was the poem. Btw i saw the image and simply a little voice in my head started screaming [apparently this voice keeps on screaming a lot recently :S ]

Oki i love the insanity mingled with fear and darkness/ amazing power mix you have here! GOD that was beautiful!

~Thanks for making me smile , now i head to my finance book, I HAVE TO SOME NERD-ING TO DO :D

best regards,

Uriel


SeenButNotHeard profile image

SeenButNotHeard 5 years ago from Michigan

I like the beginning. I can so totally relate to being that overwhelmed. It's insane.

I also love the end.

Lightning through your skin

The Thunder claps around me

I've always been a lover of storms and the one you've conjured is powerful, though bloody. Great work, Mr. Writings :)


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

An intense battle of words Ben,cower not for deed,but for those who saw need.;)


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

ominous indeed :P


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

Sounds like an epic battle. The last line is actually my favorite. It sounds so ominous.

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