It's Happened, finally.

Whoopee

The day has finally arrived. My copies for my two books are now available. Whoopee I am so excited, just to hold the new print run in my hands and smell the paper. Oh my how proud am I. Craig my darling son, my dream has come true, you will now be able to understand me better, and know why I do certain things in the way that I do. You have been my inspiration, my life and my truth. I have done this for you. I love you son.

At Last.

the front cover
the front cover | Source

The Hardest Achievement.

This article would not be the same if I didn’t have so many other wonderful people to mention. Writing my memoirs has been the single, hardest achievement that I have done in my entire life. Living my early childhood was a dream compared to facing all the memories from my young and middle term life. In fact it became a nightmare trying to understand the circumstances of my life and put them down into words showing how I had been affected.

Following my health scare with cancer in 2010, I decided to write my memoirs for my son to read and learn about his mum. I am the only relative on my side for Craig to look up too. He has never had the privilege of meeting his granny Elsie or any relation of mine, they are all deceased now. I am the last link to the Tomlinson family.

As Craig was growing up, he missed out so much on life by not knowing his mum’s family. Thankfully, his father’s family are all very close and even the extended family, cousins and aunts, all know Craig. But he had so little knowledge of my side of his family. As often as I could, I would sit him down and tell him little bits of stories about his granny and what family I remember. But I always felt sad that he would grow up never meeting the strong, inspirational person that his granny was.

It is true to say that she was aloof, un-yielding, proud and un-approachable most of the time. But being so young I didn’t understand why. My mother suffered 52 operations for cancer during a 7 year period of her life, and at the age of 9, I became her single care giver. My memoirs paint the story of a very selfish little girl who had such a lack of understanding and compassion for her mother. At times, I will be honest and say that I hated her, other times all I wanted was for her to say “I love you”. But most of all, I wanted an end to my life of insecurity and pain.

My memoirs are written with truth and honesty. My first editor actually thought I shouldn’t publish the book because of the way it portrays me. I have nothing to hide and nothing to regret. Young children in the same circumstances today, as I found myself in such a long time ago, should not be treated like heroes. They are the victims of a system that doesn’t understand that they are allowed to hate, be resentful of losing their childhood, or in pain and fear for their future. They are human, and have a right to feel as humans do.

If it hadn’t been for the input and understanding of my second editor, Roberta Weathers, Bobbirant here at Hub Pages, my book would never have been finished or put into print. I have Bobbi to thank for allowing me to breathe again. She even taught me to forgive my selfishness when I was younger, but most of all for reminding me that life is worth living. I will always be indebted to Bobbi for her kindness, understanding and tolerant nature. She doesn’t realise how much she has allowed me to open the door and fly once more.

My journey at Hub Pages has been a remarkable one, were I have laughed and cried with a few remarkable people. And, I also have them to thank. Maria, my cyber sister, who is the kindest and most wonderful friend I could wish for. We have shared so much more than writing. We have looked deeply into each other’s lives and supported each other along the way. Thank you hunnie for knowing and understanding the person that I am, and for never judging me.

Martie, whose humour has lifted many a depressive mood and brightened my day. Your encouragement and consideration of my writing has helped me to function. I love you my dear friend.

Femmeflashpoint, for more recently carrying me when I have been down. For believing in me and trying to push me on. Thank you Angelia, you are a wonderful friend.

Stuart, mustgt65 for keeping me company on yahoo chat, inspiring me with your writing, your humour and for standing by me even when I have felt grizzly.

Wayne Brown, whose talent I admire greatly, and for the permission to use your poem, “Man’s Prayerful Presence” to close my book. You are my inspiration.

Sunnie Day, for your beautiful smile and all the encouraging words and private mail received when I needed it the most.

WillStarr, for pushing me to perfect my writing. You will pull this apart today my friend. But it is all I can do to write.

There are so many more left un-named but not forgotten, whose talent and friendship I have got so used too. Without all of you, I could never have achieved so much.

For all my precious friends and hub buddies, I now salute you for your support and friendship that has carried me along on the breeze of life.

And to my long suffering partner Gordon, for laughing and crying with me over the past two years until I finished my book.

My final tribute must go to all the children who generously offer their lives every day to love and care for someone. It is alright to cry my darlings. It is fine to feel resentment because your hearts are so full of love, in the end they burst. It is alright to want to have fun, play with your friends, go and spend time alone, because you are the centre of a universe of ignorance and blame. Go fly with the birds and swim with the dolphins; you are the reality that I see. I love you all.

More by this Author


Comments 24 comments

Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Hi Blue,

I am so proud of you. What a wonderful gift for your son. And I hope you feel it is a wonderful gift to yourself as well! Congratulations!

Sharyn


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

Hi Annette,

I agree with Marcoujor- you are also a true star and like all of us do, have many facets of self.

If you can stretch your big heart to encompass yourself (not just others) as well as accepting love and nurturing from others your world will become an ever expanding circle of love.

Love,

Gail


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Just your other half checking in... isn't this unusual?

I enjoy protecting my friends as well as being nurtured & loved, Net. Maybe we can work something out (LOL)?!

It is healthy for you to hear kind and honorable feedback such as Gail's... re-read it as often as you have to, OK? And YOU are also a true star... Love, Maria


thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 5 years ago from Northern Ireland Author

My dear friend Gail, I can not thank you enough for your love and understanding of the past that I remember as my life. Often bitter realisation of what happened then and still does hurt today, has almost destroyed me. It is true to say that I am a very strong woman of two halves. The carer whose heart is big enough to take on the world to protect my friends loved ones and fellow human being, and the child who still needs to be nurtured, loved and held tightly.

You are a true star Gail to support me in such a way. Thank you from the very bottom of my heart. xx


thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 5 years ago from Northern Ireland Author

Thank you everyone for your comments. Writing my memoirs was something that I had to do for my own sanity. I have lived so long in the shadow of my past life, that the only way to let go was to go through the pain and suffering again. This wont make sense to many of you, but to me it was the only way to try and face my past.

Thank you so much for all the love and support you send my way. I truly do appreciate all of you. xx


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

I finished reading "A Lancashire Rose Was Born a Thorn" in 2 days because it was so compelling, honest and touching. You are truly an amazing woman and by the age of 14, you'd survived more trauma than most people do in a lifetime. As a nurse, it was heartwrenching to read what you went through at such a young age in being the main caretaker for your mother. So many times I wanted to reach out and take your child self into my arms and envelop her/you with love. I didn't see you as a selfish little girl, far from it, I felt that your words revealed you as a beautiful little girl struggling to survive under horrific circumstances. I am glad your book is published and that though the process of writing it was difficult for you emotionally, it does seem to have given you a new understanding of all you've been through.

Sending Hub Hugs Across the Miles,

Gail


mary615 profile image

mary615 5 years ago from Florida

I congratulate you! This is a major event for you, I'm sure. I've often thought of writing my life story, but no one would believe it was nonfiction! Good luck with the book...that's a beautiful cover.


BobbiRant profile image

BobbiRant 5 years ago from New York

I have to say: Thank you so much for the wonderful compliment. I also have to say: This is your story, beautiful, honest and a very compelling read. I simply assisted a bit, but the story intrigued me from the start. Bravo, Net, you deserve big sales from this because you have the courage to write your story. *Hugs*


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Well, I guess they say "you can pick your friends but not your family..."

And BIG SISTA, you are stuck with me like WHITE ON RICE!

I could not love you more and be prouder of you than I am this very minute! I am crying my eyes out at joy and pride at your inner strength, beauty, resilience, graciousness, honesty and dedication to yourself and all of those whom you love. You make me a little better every day, you push me when I am soft, you hold me back when I am rash... you are ALL THAT, Annette and enjoy this awesome achievement.

No one will ever hold you back again. Love always, Maria


femmeflashpoint 5 years ago

Irish,

I'm standing on my chair and clapping for you!

Can you hear me all the way from Texas? If not, please let me know. I'll start banging a drum and pounding on cymbals as well!

Sincerest congratulations on both the hub and the achievement. Be proud of you, because we certainly are!

You've come so far, and been through so much. And, now, you're holding a dream.


writer20 profile image

writer20 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

Congratulations Bluestar you're a lucky lady to be published.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

Congratulations Bluestar, a long time in the making...We are all so proud of you and this accomplishment. You Go Girl! What a Wonderful Legacy for your Son, and Grandchild, and all those you hold dear.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

Annette, I am so glad for you, and I agree with you - Since the beginning it was the task of fiction writers to create role-models - hero's - normal people with the wings of angels. This is one of the reasons for too many low-self esteems on this planet. I believe in facts - display, expose, dissect them - let the real truth step out of it. To be able to put one's personal facts on the table, means that you have won the greatest battle in life - beaten one's own ego - the thing in us that blinds us for everything except our self and whatever are able to please our self. Congratulations... I'm looking forward to read your memoirs.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge

What a fantastic accomplishment! Many congratulations and wishes for complete success!


miss_jkim profile image

miss_jkim 5 years ago

Congratulations on the publishing of your book. Best of luck for you in the future, it seems this has been a labor of love, as well as, a work of healing for you.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

..yes and I wish my name were Gordon and then I'd be hanging out with one of the most beautiful and talentd women in the world with naturally a posting of this most essential hub celebration of life and living and family to my Facebook page with a direct link back here - sending you good energy and warm wishes from your male admirer and appreciative colleague at the hub - lake eire time ontario canada 2:19pm


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

Congratulations Annette, I wish you make a lot of money in the process too. I know that's not what this is about but it can't hurt to have some coins to count too. I wish you every success with these books of yours.


Clairepeek profile image

Clairepeek 5 years ago

Congratulations Annette! I wish your book will be read as widely as can be ^_^ Good luck!


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

So So happy for you Net..congratulations. You are truly a shining star..You will touch many. Many blessings I wish for you today and in the future..

Love,

Sunnie


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

Congratulations! What a beautiful hub and tribute to those who helped produce and/or encouraged you to write this memoir. You are beautiful from the inside out and have the courage to share a little known truth- the burdens, sadness and even guilt (for having what they deem as "selfish feelings of wanting to have fun with friends rather than be inside taking care of a very sick parent") that small children who are forced, through dire circumstances, to become care-givers feel. There is, quite naturally, resentment but it's rarely talked about especially if the child isn't outwardly complaining and is actually doing so much for the parent in order to keep the household going.

I didn't realize that my dear friend Bobbi was the second editor of your book but am glad to hear it. I've read her own books and thoroughly enjoyed them and have felt privileged to watch her writing talents take off and expand into a whole body of books. She's grown into an Indie Author with her own website and blog and though I miss her daily presence on HP I am so happy to see her succeeding and is also helping others to accomplish what she has accomplished.

I'll be purchasing your book and can't wait to read it. Looked on this hub to see if you have a link to purchasing info but couldn't find one. Where should we go to purchase a copy?


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Congratulations! Up and awesome!


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Congratulations Annette! This is wonderful news. I too too wish you much success.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

I second that congratulations. Your son will have a legacy in print to be proud of. I know it's not easy letting some skeletons out of our closets, but when one decides to write ones memoirs, I truly believe me must be true to ourselves and hold nothing back.

I wish you much success with your book in the stores and elsewhere. I know it's not your main concern, you are so pleased to leave this legacy to your son and I am so proud of you Annette. Again congratulations and I am very happy for you as well and proud to be a friend and follower.


jami l. pereira 5 years ago

Congratulations! voted up and awesome and beautiful , your son is a very lucky man to have such a devoted mom !:) have a wonderful day!:)

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