Cultural Training: More Best of Southern Epithets!
More of the best Southern Cultural Epithets!
I couldn't resist the urge to add more to The Best of Southern Epithets!
So here it is honey-child! Enjoy the ride!
Read on why don't cha?
You know you're REALLY from the South when:
You can eat fried okra,
or fried okr-ee.
The tomatoes aren’t rotten,
If you’ve already eaten you’ve done ate..
If you haven’t eaten:”You eat yet?”
The word yesterday is now yester-dee.
And today is tudday.
The tire’s flat: air that sucker up!
Looking at new fishing caps you notice
This one’s purdy, these one’s aint.
You’ve been working in the garden all day….
You’re all tuckered out. What really riles you up is
your back’s stove up from it!
How many times did your Mama say,
“You’re gonna fall down & bust your head wide open!”
You get really angry and throw a
Conniption hissy fit and yell, “Dad-gummit!”
Everybody’s talking about your cousin and her boyfriend:
They say she’s been shackin’ up,
but later find out they’re paper married!
You wonder who’s the stranger fishing in your pond.
You yell, “What in tarnation you doin’ at my pond?!”
You’re watching your child at a softball game and notice
the little Jones boy can’t throw the ball very well. You say:
“He can’t throw as far as a hen can spit, can he?”
You’ve been tossing and turning all night and can’t sleep.
You get up for a glass of buttermilk and your husband appears in the kitchen.
“You asleep yet?” he asks.
You snap,”Does a chicken have lips!?”
Visit Roy D. Mercer's virtual double-wide and get a sample of southern "hospitality".
- ROY D. MERCER
Roy D. Mercer is a fictional character created by disc jockeys Brent Douglas and Phil Stone on radio station KMOD-FM in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He makes prank calls to unsuspecting victims on the air, live. You'll be rolling!
You’ve got a stomach virus and feel the vomit coming up.
You run for the toilet screaming,
”Get outta the way,
I’m gonna puke my gutts up!”
You had diarrhea last night, too, and tell your husband,
“Felt like hot lava shootin’ out all night long…”
You’re sick with a severe cough and your friend asks how
You’re feeling. You reply,
“Thought I’d coughed up a lung last night!”
Time for a vacation so you’ve got to arrange for
The neighbor to feed the critters while you’re gone.
A bird’s circling a dead carcass in your pasture.
You’re not sure it’s a buzzard, but you reckon so…..
Then you see the varmint, way over yonder
Grab the shotgun and tell your wife, “I’ll be home directly.”
HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS ADDITOIN TO : THE BEST OF SOUTHERN EPITHETS
I welcome any comment yall want to make.
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