MYSTERY OF BECOMING

LXII.


We are all here on earth becoming our fullest, most whole selves, sometimes directly, but more often it is a bumpy, convoluted path. Though it may not always be a smooth process, yet when we embrace it with acceptance, courage and sensitivity, with even a bit of eagerness (no matter how it's unfolding) - it can bring enormous satisfaction; and eventually, it can lead to a deep personal realization, or "self-actualization", as Abraham Maslow described it.

Like most of us, my own personal journey went through rocky canyons, dimly lit tunnels, murky detours - and so on and so on.

I don't know about you, but I haven't always known where I was in the maze, and at times, even wondered WHO I was! Others try to define us, circumstances uproot or displace us, discouragement blocks us while lucid self-honesty eludes us and our own unwise choices backfire, so that we wander, wondering! The good news is that we can muddle through and clarify the murk, accept responsibility and emerge more completely ourselves than we would otherwise have become. For sure, writing helps, at least it did for me, in many ways!

I am glad to report survival - and, yes - BECOMING Nellieanna! And that, ladies and gentlemen - IS the MYSTERY! If anyone thinks for a moment I arrived intact on the stage of life - think again! It's some kind of miracle. And the same goes for each of us. No one is born a "finished person". It's a lifetime process, but clarity can actually happen along the way!


Bottles

I’m right here now.

The words I write in poems

Retrace by voyage here

Through inlets making

Mockery of maps,

Whirlpools changing course,

Twinkling streams

And placid ponds for rest,

Exciting rapids racing.

All - in pages, pressed.

Where I am just now

Is where I need to be

To see the way to go.

I don’t look back,

I can't look back!

So I stuff it into bottles

To float to shore someday!


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

3-9-72


Be not intimidated,

Be reinforced

By signs of life herein.

As the flow is fed,

So it distributes

Life ahead.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay












When soul is becoming whole,

It produces both fruit and refuse,

Easily distinguished.

It either is or isn't!


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

11-71





Myself


Cocoon-cracked,

Bookworm becomes

Butterfly.

Yet hovers here

Among the pages

A little longer,

Always

To return for rest

And vital nourishment.


_____© Nellieanna H. Hay

1-12-73


Fragile butterfly

With tensile strength of steel

Who knows as much as I

How life and love should feel.

Delicate discernment

Determined by respect

And in it all a loving heart

Much more than they suspect.

______© Nellieanna H. Hay

2-11-73

These deaf-mute days,

Delays in life and living

Leave me puzzling

Sometimes out-of-touch,

Speechless,

Numb.

Their senseless activity

And inactivity

Obscuring

All that IS,

Overshadowing;

And inside is

Too little felt.

______© Nellieanna H. Hay

3-14-73


The more

Alone

I am,

The more

I am

Together.

The more

Together,

The more

A

Lone.

______© Nellieanna H. Hay

7-10-72

Loner


Driftwood,

Uniquely gnarled

And beautiful,

Ravaged by currents,

Tumbled by stone,

And left

To dry

Alone,

Yet it

Prevails.

_____ © Nellieanna Hay

2-28-72


The Lean Years


Bare.

Burned?

No.

Brown.

Scorched?

No.

Winter!

Cold.

Not hot.

Dry.

Dead?

No, dormant.

Sleeping.

Shadow.

Winter.

Snowy.

Sparkling

Winter.

Happy?

No,

Not sad.

Why?

Why not?

It's a choice.

______© Nellieanna H. Hay

January, 1969


Sometimes I feel like

A very old soul

Becoming

A very new person!

≈ ≈ ≡ ≈ ≈ ≡ ≈ ≈

Anticipation gathers

For my new

Adventure.

______© Nellieanna H. Hay

9-3-72


becoming

|biˈkəming|

noun (Philosophy)

the process of coming to be something or of passing into a state.

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Comments 83 comments

Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

If one can get past pretending,then they're usually alone in their illumination.;)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Acer - that's so. Thank you for the visit and pithy comment! Hugs. :-)


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 5 years ago from new delhi

this becoming is a strange thing Nellie. one is at all times evolving and yet one is at all times perfect and fully evolved.so from what you were to what you are must have been a wonderful journey but the journey to what you will be is going to be still better.(of course one of the reasons is that you have such a committed boy friend in me- but that besides)

so whatever cards come your way play them and sit back and bask in the glory of an ever evolving perfection that is Nellieanna hay.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Oh yes, Neelesh. Becoming all of who we are is our major quest, I guess. As you say - what or who we really ARE is perfect but we don't always fully know it. It takes many of us awhile to realize and to internalize it - and then to know how best to apply it.

You are such a delight. Thank you for caring! Hugs.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 5 years ago from UK

Cocoon-cracked,

Bookworm becomes

Butterfly.

How clever this is. How clever YOU are :-)


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Beautiful hub, Nellieanna!

To answer the question "Do I know where I am going?"

Yes, I do. Nowhere. This life is "a slalom from nowhere to nowhere", therefore, there is no rush to achieve anything.

"Wherever you go there you are": "the most important point is to be yourself and not try to become anything that you are not already." (Jon Kabat-Zinn)

And, of course, the joy of being so clever is spoiled immediately by realizing that we unfold by doing something new. "Life is like a ten-speed bicycle ... Most of us have gears that we don't use..."

If we are "something with potential", do we become more or less when we explore and develop that potential?


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

To truly live and love, one must know one's self. To truly know one's self, one must live and love!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

Nellieanna, you've said it all so-so-so well. Even though I sometimes get tired of becoming, inside me a warm flame of anticipation always keeps me strong and excited. Life is an exciting adventure.

Your thoughts always anchors my own.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Often, lately, I'm finding that the journey I take to resolve yet another dilemma, unending in this life, teaches me more about who I am than anything else. In the past, I was so busy trying to bust another move, I didn't stop long enough to see that my way defined my uniqueness; that it was the process that defined me more than the end-result. Now, life is different and in my introspection and through my friends here, I am beginning to like myself, Nellieanna. And, this journey is full of wonder, frustration, hope, pain, joy and love. Thank you for writing it so beautifully.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

You are an inspiration to us all Nellieanna.

When we feel, as we often do, that our lives are sunk in stagnating waters, your wise words, and your inspiring example, show us the way to the stars.

Thanks for doing it.


David Warren profile image

David Warren 5 years ago from Nevada

Especially when internal strife is ripe, your poetry is like a refreshing waterfall that cascades over me. You indeed have a gift. Thank you so much for sharing it here.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ah - Dimitris! It says it as it happened and describes exactly how it felt, though the wings still felt fragile. :-) There was no effort to be clever, but just expressed how it was to feel that. It followed a very long period of virtual isolation - in which I read much - and into the full realization of a new period in which I found myself matriculating back into the potential of the "real world" from which I'd come prior to that long dim cocoon existence trying to make it work.

You are so dear to appreciate it from your perspective. It might be nice to be more clever or to have a talent for calling it forth at will! I have to rely on whatever is "in here" just pouring forth. Kisses.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Svetlana - thank you! I'm glad you think it beautiful.

The song asks that question, though mine was and is more: "do you know where and especially who you ARE?" Till then, you have no idea where to go, or if to go. Of course where one is, is within oneself. That is the whole point. It's a portable destination. :-)

Often people have been defined by others and herded into roles others think fitting, and of course - they don't really fit. I can clearly remember a moment when I fully realized "This does NOT fit!" And I'd been trying to alter, tailor myself to fit, rather than leaving the ufitting roles.

If that's been happening to us - and it does, from infancy - we simply need to realize and peel off those extraneous layers to discover who we really are. Becoming, to me, is that process, - - NOT becoming something or someone else; - rather - just the opposite: chucking un-becoming, unfitting other roles and personas, whether of our own making (or acceptance) or mostly imposed externally.

If we explore and develop a potential within ourselves, we simply live it. We're not adding or subtracting something ELSE, we are mining it from where it abides within us and allowing it to shine forth.

The usefulness of ideas I was trying to present here are a bit along the order of my 4-word thought about the vastness of everything: "There is no problem." Once that is realized, one can relax about trying to define and know everything "out there" in timelessness and be better able to deal with the present glitches and calamities we've usually helped create for ourselves. Ultimately, though,"out there", - there is no problem, because what IS, simply is itself (or doesn't exist) and is nothing more, nothing less than its own truth, no matter what clever and/or comforting explanations we've manufactured to try to fathom - and to tame - it. IF we are destined to live on on another plane to see what it really IS, we'll know and if we aren't so destined - we won't. But there is ample evidence that we do have a business of defragmenting and fathoming who we are while we are HERE.

As to the video - the song is the theme song of a 1975 movie, "Mahagony". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFB2E8v4MUg I confess I didn't see it, I think I must order the dvd now! I have loved the lilt of the song ever since it became #1 then and as it's survived and been re-done over the years.

Jennifer Lopez' story of coming from humble beginnings and making herself a place fits the theme of the original story, in which Diana Ross starred and fit the part too. J-Lo's rendition is especially lovely, I think; though Diana's is too, and her own story in real life is quite inspiring.

In the story: "Diana Ross plays Tracy Chambers, a sassy industrious young woman living in the projects of Chicago who dreams of becoming a fashion designer," says Wikipedia.

She struggles against humble beginnings, of course: - her racial background's discrimination (at a time when that was a major social issue in this country) and the movie was a kind of statement for black women, with that double challenge, and with an obvious talent for design far ahead of her white instructor's vision or expectations from one of her background. In cases of entire minorities, 'becoming' not only involves one's own personal struggles shared by all humans, but also includes observable differences and attempts to stymie success and realization of self-worth imposed from ruling majorities. This may be based on ethnic, gender, age, or a myriad of other differences.

And in this heroine's story, the eventual success, money and fame brought her through her talent & belief in herself, also brings her still other challenges of values and truths which differed with her inner direction and being. So the song has multiple messages. When one is amid challenges to one's personal truths and faced with fitting and fine-tuning, many questions are appropriate, including "where are you going?"

Life moves us along on paths and it's wise to examine them, especially when they don't feel right. Even if one is certain that the destination is nowhere, as the moments come, there are somewheres to move toward or from and they involve choices, which may summon a sense of the fittingness and value to one's truth of the various paths available. Life is motion whether or not the motion has ultimate destination or future.

Thank you, my dear friend. I love that you honor me with your astute thoughts and your own questions.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Nikki - my dear young friend. YOU are wise. That is a wonderful summation of it! Thank you. What more need be said? !!


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Thank you, Nellieanna, for the explanations, but I hope you remember I am past that stage - I agree with what you have said - but I just go further.

The movie and the song are new to me - the idea of "becoming a success" is not - I am trying to steer away from that

it is a modern society stereotype - I am not a success and may never "become" one. It is not a judgment, but if I were, I would not have to think about the meaning of my existence that much and looking for MY way.

Since, as you have cleverly observed, not all roles fit, I have to "become" me - first of all - to accept me. Others don't -- because they define people by "a winner/a loser". In their vocabulary I am a loser for the lack of achievement.

Life is not a game, it is a journey, but there is no rush from point A to point B. Or rather to be more specific, let's say from A1 to A2042. If I am at the A142 position it is fine. I have not lost or won anything.

Maybe, I failed to get my message across - but that is me becoming better as a writer - there is always a room for improvement.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

thank u nelli!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Becoming a "success" is not - was never - the point, Svetlana. Success, if it comes, is merely a byproduct, not a measurement and in that movie, that truth is shown clearly. The heroine simply had undeniable talent which was part of who she was and was impelled internally to express it with her designs on paper and in fabric. "Success" came as a result of that part of herself, not as a goal. It reminds me of the line in "The Red Shoes" in which the ballerina is asked why does she dance and she replies by asking the questioner why he breathes, to which he answers, "Because I must". She says, "That is why I dance, too."

As for your being a "loser" by others' definition - it's the major point of being oneself to NOT look to others for one's definition. It is gratifying when one's efforts bring favorable comment, but if one expressed oneself merely to get them, that is, indeed, sad and not in any manner being true to oneself.

First of all, - they know virtually nothing of oneself except fleeting evidence which they may or may not have the capacity to notice, much less to evaluate. Even the most astute "other" has only his or her own opinion to pass along. Others and their opinions express THEMSELVES and where THEY are, not oneself and where oneself is. It's part of the interaction since the fact is that we live in a world populated with millions of others whose own being is needing expression, who touch on and are landmarks in our own journey, but it is not ourselves being reflected by them nor is it our personal goal to please them - or to displease them - which defines who and where we are. We ARE, constantly, whether we've learned to recognize and trust it or not. It's all OK. We need each of our valleys and mountaintops to see ourselves with truth, honesty and clarity - and to love that self. If we feel a pinch where we are, we can examine what we've brought into our present place and adjust it - to fit ourself, not others' expectations or judgments. Oddly enough, when we really do that, we are more easily tolerated by "them"! Go figure. hehe

So I could not be happier for you to hear that you realize your own position is fine - better yet - I'd say it is perfect for you if it is truly YOU. If self-acceptance is still being worked through, then it's part of where you ARE and that is fine too You have certainly not lost or won anything. You have nothing to prove or defend (to others).

You do express your meanings very well! Even if I were as dense as a rock, whether or not I get it wouldn't or couldn't diminish YOU one iota. And possibly I get it better than my ability to communicate is able to get it across. It doesn't matter; though it is well worth the effort to reach understanding. There was an old book titled "I'm OK; You're OK" ! That is an understatement! Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank YOU, NIkki - My pleasure! :-)


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Nellieanna, my words reflect where I am - everyone sees a different picture, though.

There was a great cartoon by Herluf Bidstup (great in my opinion)

one book - four readers

- one reads as if it a treatise on philosophy

- one cries

- one laughs

- one is bored.

We live in a society and acceptance is in our genetic code - I read a book called "Loneliness" - I even wanted to write a hub on it - it changed my perception significantly. I simply did not realize that "cooperation gene" is a gene, the advantage that humans have over animals - it was key to survival - however, living in a society makes it necessary for us to be "in" - to feel accepted.

Loneliness is not just a feeling, it is "danger signal" - go back to the herd - or you won't survive.

I am being too verbose.

I meant to say - first I live by the rules that I accepted through socialization - we all do that - but when it does not work - I have to go alone and it is painful.

I was told by one hubber - that my level is too high - "please don't come here with your problems ..." - he was either joking or sarcastic - but he hurt my feelings.

Of course, I won't go back, I don't find him interesting, yet the pain of rejection remains.

You know that you and I agree on most things, if not on everything - but we express it differently.

My quest for acceptance stems from my childhood - I never felt accepted and it is a want ... until I find my balance - it is going to hurt and hurt a lot.

Recently, I adopted a different strategy - I only write for myself - level, no level, too high, too low, - it does not matter. I am my universe - maybe I will never be accepted - but my journey is mine and mine only.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Martie - The major challenges in becoming are those drawing one to NOT-become one's truth, but to pursue detours; - and that is tiring. We must pull ourselves back from that counter-stream and it is all rather exhausting, & then to resume and restore our selves to ourselves. But it's that 'warm flame of anticipation' which keeps us motivated and willing. The unknown is just another wondrous opportunity to BE.

Life is, indeed, an exciting adventure and we don't always see enough ahead to know clearly what choices will both expand and fill our real selves. We can usually tell when we take some steps and they bring a bigger perspective and horizon, where we can see it better. And if we mistake it, it doesn't mean we're offtrack. It brings us more wisdom and adds to our treasure-trove of valuable experience. The only real opponent is lingering discouragement which blocks our path. Thank you, dear "cyber daughter". Love and Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Amy - oh, yes - those journeys - dilemmas - are the paths and tools for probing ourselves and our truths. Your description "….I was so busy trying to bust another move, I didn't stop long enough to see that my way defined my uniqueness; that it was the process that defined me more than the end-result." -is so very much like my own experience! In my own life up till I was in my 40s - I tried so hard to 'do it right' - which actually meant trying to 'do it their way' - and I was never so good at that as "they" demanded and I kept hoping I could be. Then along the line, I began to trust my own way and I found I am VERY good at my way - and have skills and talents 'they' actually denied me! I was really amazed! Actually the results prove my way IS better and works better for me!

Yes - it can make one's life-path take a different direction to discover who one really is! For sure, there may be many of "them" who feel the loss of dominance - almost feel one has betrayed them if one takes charge of one's own reins, and this is even more likely if one had been a really earnest, docile and willing follower. I was, though inside I knew there was something really wrong with the picture!

So - one's own unique path is not trouble-free, either. Real experience brings real responses and the good stuff brings our good responses and the less-pleasant stuff brings our honest less-pleasant responses. We may glow or glower depending on the stimuli! But in the process, we also learn to be more discerning about what we get ourselves into and better able to feel what kind of responses it will bring. Knowing we won't be ok in a situation which is contrary to our own being, and knowing it is difficult to extricate from such situations, we discover that we do not "have to" do or accept "just any old thing" placed before us and that is it ok to just say no or no-way! We also find out that the process of self-expression carries with it the reality of self-responsibility, of course - which is a real bonus because it means we can refuse it or alter it if it isn't as fitting as we anticipated even after we do get into it.

Thank you so much for your visit and comments! Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Christopher, look who talks! You bring such inspiring and expanding subjects to our attention. I love to read and relish your wisdom and knowledge, - and the wonderful wry humor!

Of course - stagnating waters are a drag, but those can be drained and replaced with stardust! Just pop open the drain and open the skylight! Hugs . . . Thank you for the very gratifying words, dear heart.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

David - I confess that I started but didn't post a comment to one of your latest hubs. My words were all full of facts and observations, but didn't begin to express what I really wanted to. I am so very glad if my words here feel refreshing, since that was much closer to what I'd have liked in my comments there. Hugs and my very best hopes and regards for you. Thank you for your courage and example in triumph in difficulty.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ah, Svetlana- it is good, though others can't hurt our feelings. We allow their expressions of themselves to hurt us. Not necessary and not realistic.

So what if he thought your level too high? As compared to what? I've been told I 'think too much'. I had to laugh! I was once told 'Being Nellie sucks'- as though that person had the slightest idea what being Nellie is or feels like. The impetus for this was that I was standing up for a brilliant person in a chatgroup of folks who preferred to talk about others and their social exploits. So? I realized with crystal clarity that I didn't honestly fit there either, though I'm a very good "chatter" but not into meanness - toward my brilliant friend! The remark about either of us didn't fit - so why worry? Mean spiritedness, though - really is unattractive and being there was a choice - a poor one, I learned. So thank you, MIldred (not her real name).

Like you - you don't go back where that person asked you not to, not because he had any power but because his power was meager and uninteresting to you. Why would that hurt YOU? He is the one with the inner turmoil, it would seem. Not much adjustability to others and personalities. He could have been greatly expanded otherwise. His loss is not just handy words. It's so.

I sought acceptance as a kid, too. I was the baby and never credited with much in my family. But I was ok inside, just not sure how to express it. I trusted these people and followed along docilely - thinking that was what was appropriate. I defied it at one point, only to have m eldest sister I was deifying die in a horrendous accident in which I'd have been involved had I not defied her. But she totally rejected me when I did - to extremes - even to trying to turn our parents against me. As a result, I more or less retreated into the docility, figuring that was my lot in life. And in that sad state I married a dominating, unkind man - and struggled for 18 years to BE what it took to please and make it work. It didn't. I didn't instigate it or merit the results, but the hurt included his finagling to turn my children against me, for greedy and mean reasons. My daughter who was then 15 and is now 54, returned to me eventually - (after experiencing her father's cruet treatment) but her life was seriously impacted. My son - who was 17 then and will be 56 tomorrow - has remained estranged. That is excruciating hurt, Svetlana, but I couldn't dwell IN it or feed upon it - or I wouldn't even be here. Along the line I also trusted my other two older siblings, only to be seriously betrayed by them. People can't bear it if they thought they had one under their thumbs and one has the audacity to move out of there. And one must take full charge of responsibility for one's own feelings, actions and interactions, choices, effects on others and sphere of influence. Leaves less time to feel or even to notice rejection! Truly. ;->

I wrote for myself all during that terrible marriage and had done so ever since till my recent involvement here in Hubs some 14 months ago. That has been for reasons about which I feel good. In the event that they change - I can easily be just as happy without doing it.

I've done other things, of course, in all those many interim years from 40 to "going on 80", and happily they included becoming OK with myself and becoming honestly and fully "comfortable in my own skin" so that I really am not blown about by the winds (or words) that ever blow around one. I still like Kipling's "If" - my Dad recommended it to me when I was young.

And when I speak, it is from experience, not theory. I can fully and truly hope your pain and aches subside. They will when you are really at home in yourself and I've no doubt you will be! I really do love and admire you, by the way.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Thank you, Nellieanna! It is very comforting to hear that - we achieve peace by experiencing pain. Otherwise we would never need "achieve" peace if it was our natural state.

You are right, I should ignore, but I cannot. I am working on it. Right now, I am a person who is too vulnerable, open to pain and as you said it is OK, it is only a stage. That is my current state - I cannot jump out of it - like out of a burning house. The fire is inside. So, day by day ... eventually ... it will pass.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Great wisdom, Svetlana, though I have to reserve opinion that we must achieve peace because is is not our natural state. We can't know whether it is or not, since we are seldom allowed or encouraged to BE in our natural state from the moment of birth. If parents were more attuned to what it is, perhaps they would avoid crushing it - perhaps even encourage and accept it. But that's ok. How it is, is how it is.

We may need to achieve or build the conditions for it to become, by being better parents to ourselves. There was a book years ago about being a better parent to oneself. I may have a copy of it somewhere. The idea has merit. In any case - it is not an "other" kind of achievement or goal, but a very much oneself kind of arrival there.


Sa`ge profile image

Sa`ge 5 years ago from Barefoot Island

Ir never ceases to amaze me how each person is so different yet so identical in so many ways. If only to remember that only in the darkness can any light be seen so clearly. :D hugs :D


Merlin Fraser profile image

Merlin Fraser 5 years ago from Cotswold Hills

Like most people I am sure my life has been a roller coaster ride, perhaps I am more fortunate than most because it seems my life has been more ups than downs.

Or maybe I cope better with the downs than others, who knows, my inspiration was my own personal Mr. Chips who told me there was a great big world out there and that I should journey forth and make of it what I could.

Were it not for him and some great adventure books I shudder to think what I would be now. I have met some of my old school pals and to me they look so old and care worn is that how I appear to them I wonder ?

It's not how I feel and I hope it is not how I act, given what we know in medical science today I may only be half way through this life.... But even if that is not the case at least you and I can look back and shout;

"We have Lived and still are Ready for More!"


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Those 'little rooms inside your heart,' Nelieanna, must be filled by now with all the tenants who read and adore your writings, as I do.

Lovely, remarkable poetry - as always, m'dear.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Sa'ge. Yes, that's so true. As different and unique as we are, we are also so much akin.

I love the thought that we need darkness in order actually to see light. Such a profound observation and truth!

Thank you for dropping by!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Merlin - You are surely right-on that you handle your "downs" in effective ways.

I don't know whether the comic strip "Peanuts" was/is available in the UK, but the word "down" always reminds me of one of the characters, Lucy, the smart-alecky girl who would say that she wanted "all ups, no downs". That she seemed to create lots of downs for others at times seemed to escape her notice. haha. But she set up her own psychiatry booth, so for 5 cents, her playmates could get her advice about life and all its peccadillos. hahaha! If "The Doctor Is In" sign were on her stand (like a lemonade stand), it was all there for the nickel.

Good that you had your Mr. Chips for advice! He sounds practical and upbeat with advice which is surely superior to Lucy's advice and example. There is always that old saw that one "cannot hear what your say for what you do!"

I notice that there are ample young folks walking around with downer views and downcast eyes, creating their own "downers".

Outlook direction is not determined by years spent alive! I may be more than half-way through the statistical life expectations - OH, yeah! - but I figure that demonstration is its own best statistic and I have at least another 20 or so years to live abundantly! Who cares about the statistics? Not I! Not YOU!

Thanks for a great comment!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

DRBJ - I think you are exactly right. No vacant rooms now, it seems! I've never counted them by quantity, anyway - but by quality and that is really high these days! Thank you for your wonderful comments! They always give me a lift! Hugs!!


Merlin Fraser profile image

Merlin Fraser 5 years ago from Cotswold Hills

Hey Nellianna,

Peanuts is alive and well in the UK and has been a mainstay of my education for years.

Charlie Brown has to be the greatest optimist ever...

How many times has he asked Lucy to hold the football and how many times has she taken it away ?


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

hehehe, Merlin - OH yes! Poor adorable Charlie Brown, Charles Shultz's alter-ego! I love every character but it was all so much more wonderful when Shultz was alive and writing. It really was his own facets built into each and every character, I think.

We saved a lovely cartoon right after he died, showing St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, where a sign saying "No Dogs Allowed" was being over-ruled so that Snoopy could accompany Charles through the gates. ;->

I have a collection of "Peanuts" books here in my den. No need to take the newspaper now! haha!


Merlin Fraser profile image

Merlin Fraser 5 years ago from Cotswold Hills

I used to have a picture of Snoopy on the side of my Computer, you know the one, where he is lying on top of his kennel looking skywards.

The quote underneath read,

"Yesterday I was a Dog.

Today I am a Dog.

Tomorrow I will still be a Dog.

I guess promotion around here is not an option !"

Not sure my boss thought it was Funny !


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

I love that! Bosses need some comeuppance at times. And I so identify with Snoopy, Merlin! For one thing, we are both Aquarians. :-) There is strong kinship there. I'm no dog, but, then - neither is he, really! He's a philosopher, hero-type. I may not qualify on all fronts, but we are kindred spirits! hehe


Merlin Fraser profile image

Merlin Fraser 5 years ago from Cotswold Hills

Are you familiar with Wallace and Gromit ?

You will find Gromit is Snoopy with attitude !


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

I don't know Wallace and Gromit. Sounds good. But - hehe - Snoopy has no attitude?????? haha


Merlin Fraser profile image

Merlin Fraser 5 years ago from Cotswold Hills

Please allow me to fill in this small gap in your education:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSVD3nzsIyA&feature...


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ah-h-h-h -- I'm going to go check it out! Thanks!!

HEHEHE! CUTE! Gromit could really be a hero! hehe.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

I love the expletive, "Knickers!" hehe


Merlin Fraser profile image

Merlin Fraser 5 years ago from Cotswold Hills

Wallace and Gromit is a whole series of Movies, same animator as Chicken Run.

They are extremely funny and just a hint Gromit is the silent brainy one.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

I noticed that Gromit was smart. He was the one who put on the rain slicker BEFORE the robot antics - no fanfare. ;->


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland

Nellianna, You are beautiful, and I love the way you can group these pieces of yours into wonderful expressions so that they are like lessons on Becoming or Learning to live comfortably in your own self. For some of us, its so hard. I seem to confront this every day - so long trying to live as the reflection of what I thought everyone else saw or wanted me to be. This is a hard lesson to learn in your forties! But I will learn it and I will use your eloquent words and wise sayings as a comfort and a map. up/beautiful. You are one of a kind Nellieana, and its a privilege to know you. hugs...


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Erin - Thank you! What lovely compliments.

I don't know that it is "hard" to learn. It just seems to hide and elude a person till it sinks in. Then it seems so obvious that one wonders what was the holdup.

Actually I was in my forties when it did, and it was prompted by an upset. I hadn't been attempting to learn it. I'd been just trying to keep from rocking the boat, but it blew up anyway. Then I realized my own being as worthy and real. AND I knew for SURE that trying, no matter how diligently, to please or fit what others expect, demand or want one to be just will not work anyway. Forty years of attempting it crumbling all around me were a wake-up of an inner growth that had been going on (and expressed in many of these poems) during the time of trying to be whomever it was "they" wanted. haha - Guess it became clear that I had little to lose by just going on and being who I am! So don't worry. YOU will emerge. Can't keep a good woman down!! Hugs.


Merlin Fraser profile image

Merlin Fraser 5 years ago from Cotswold Hills

You need Seconds ????

How can I deny you a special treat ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqQ_NEGInKE&NR=1


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

OHMYGOSH, Merlin! That was too, too F-U-N-N-Y. I'm still chuckling! hahaha!


Merlin Fraser profile image

Merlin Fraser 5 years ago from Cotswold Hills

There are lots more on YouTube under Wallace and Gromit although you really need to see the films, the first one is called a Grand Day Out. There's another one called The Wrong Trousers, then A close shave and I think the latest is The Curse of the Were-rabbit.

Have you seen the Movie Chicken Run ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVdlxwX6A7g


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

I noticed there are many W&G bits on u-tube and plan to explore more of them. The punch of the short episodes is really fun and attracts my interest. I confess that I'm not really into full-length animated films, for the most part. Maybe featuring W&G, but the trailer preview of Chicken Run didn't really ring my chimes, though it is undoubtedly clever and the animation is phenomenal. The story-line, - - well, not my thing. I appreciate your sharing all these new things with me, though. I grew up with Disney animated movies and have fond memories. Modern technology has opened up much in versatility but perhaps the story development is a bit stunted. hehe. Hugs.

ps I waste a lot of time on jigsaw puzzles, but I feel like it keeps my brain-hand coordination sharp. Too many full-length cartoons might undo the brain end. haha


Merlin Fraser profile image

Merlin Fraser 5 years ago from Cotswold Hills

Only if you were in them...dear heart !

I share your Daily Jigsaw puzzle fix, I like the classic shapes best and I chose 80 pieces and am happy if I can match or beat the average time.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

haha. Good point! So I'm probably out of danger. ;->

I still prefer the greater variety of shapes in the 67-pieces. I have occasionally beaten the average times but usually am happy enough if I'm close. I do it for the fun of manipulating the pieces, seeing their most likely positions and thinking about their fit. I don't rush a lot.


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 5 years ago from London, UK

Such wixse words of wisdom. I admire you for being able to write in such a style. Thank you for this wonderful pleasure.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Hello, hello. - I so appreciate your kind words of encouragement! Hugs and thank you!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

Hi, Nellieanna, how do you do it? You weave words into small poems that say everything! If I tried to explain what life is, and how we got there, I would trip over my own metaphorical feet! wonderful!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear, dear Nell. Thank you - but I don't try to do it, so maybe that's the secret. If or when I try, it is disaster. Your metaphors are much more elegant and expressive, by the way. Hugs.


NotWiredThatWay profile image

NotWiredThatWay 5 years ago from New York

Very original NellieAnna. Your poems are like a chronicle of your mindset and the poems are at times touching and at other time inspirational. Epi sure knows how to chose excellent writers.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thanks, NotWiredThatWay - (mind if I call you NWTW?) :-)

That's what I thought when he referred me to read your hub!


Gypsy Willow profile image

Gypsy Willow 5 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

I enjoyed your poetry and the questions it asked of us. Wonderful!

I'm glad Merlin has introduced you to the great characters Wallace and Gromit!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Gypsy Willow - Thank you so much! Yes - I'm delighted to meet Wallace and Gromit. What characters they are, too! hehe Merlin introduced me to HP, too, by the way!


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 5 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

A breathe of fresh air! Voted up and awesome. Your perspective and life experiences serve you well!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dallas! Been too long since I've heard from you, my friend! Thank you for the gracious comments. Yes, I do believe I am well served! :-)

BTW - I like your new profile picture! Great to see YOU and your lovely lady. So fine looking!


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 5 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

Thanks! Life is a process..! Lots of changes...


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

That is its nature and almost the definition of Life! What is nice is that so many of its changes are results of our own choices, too, probably because it IS one's life, as we sometimes learn through trial and error! haha. But there is much encouragement in that! Having the responsibility offers chances to reverse the kinds of choices made and to make "things change" for the better. It's nice to live the life one's driving and to enjoy going where it's taking one.


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 5 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

Amen!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thumbs up! :-)


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

Nellieanna....Your poetry is so beautiful and meshes with your prose to clarify some profound truths about life. "Becoming" truly takes a lifetime.

Yes, my own journey through life (so far!) has made many twists and turns, and a few sudden dips in the road. It hasn't always been easy, and I've made mistakes along the way--who hasn't?

Still, I've gained many wonderful memories, a dearly loved family and treasured friends. I thought I understood myself and who my "self" was early on, only to learn through my life's unfolding that the self I thought I knew then was only the fledgling "me."

Here I stand on the brink of 68 years, perhaps defining myself better, but still open to new insights and experiences. Life is wonderful, is it not?

JAYE


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Yes, yes - it is truly wonderful! I'm on the threshold of an 80th birthday - meaning I'm in the 80th year of life here now. :-) (One's first year is up to the first birthday, y'know! hehe) But the fact is, every moment is brand new, except that those we've already lived help clarify some things. One might even think of ALL of this life on EARTH as 'fledgling" years becoming oneself - possibly to prepare for another somewhere somehow.

Thanks again, my friend - hugs.


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

Actually, I'm on the brink of my 68th birthday, which means I'm tottering on the edge of 69 years. :-)

Hugs back to you, friend.

By the way, I liked this hub so much I sent the link for it to a friend who is also a poet and a native Texan. I hope she reads it. I'm sure she will love your poetry if she ever begins reading it.

Take care...JAYE


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

That is so sweet to recommend my hub to your friend. Thank you, Jaye! Hugs!


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

I received a "thank you" email from her in which she told me that her daughter (in Minnesota) sent her the same link! Your fame has spread, Nellieanna! JAYE


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Wow -- that's amazing! Thanks for telling me!


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago

Nellieanna, gosh I love to read your lines , I never know what to expect next , If I had to guess ,out of these ......I am the driftwood! :-] Oh and of course you are awesome .


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ahorseback! Thank you for those encouraging and kind words!

I have a very special place in my heart for that driftwood imagery and could identify with it myself at that time I wrote it.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

...well Nellieanna your hallowed hubspace is always an emotional, intellectual and spiritual journey - so satisfying and rich in every lovingly etched detail.

If you go to my profile page and look at the introduction space you will receive a nice surprise - you are in the company of 4 other men - lol lol!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

WOW, Colin! I'm speechless! Thank you for the nice surprise - what an honor! Hugs. And thank you for visiting and enjoying my hub here! Your good opinion means much to me.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

.....and I just added another lady friend of yours (and mine)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

That is wonderful, Colin! :-)


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

When I want to become rejuvenated and whole again. I simply have to pay my favorite female poet a visit and everything transcends to calm for me. Your poetry is motion for me, emotion, devotion and a resting place for my soul. Your verse settles me, gives me tranquility in my raging seas. Thank you is not enough to express my feelings, simply put you are LOVE wrapped in flowers..Hugs from me to you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Ken . . . You always do me such great honor, not only in appreciating my poetry as poetry but especially in gleaning from it what actually inspired most of it - a resident sense for oneself of "all-rightness", even in the midst of what might otherwise be chaos or the "pits". I wrote much of it as a resting place and repository for my real self amid such circumstances, to capture and be a reminder for me of the essence and the potential within for looking up and out of the pits with serenity, hope and joy. Out of that, I found it was OK to recognize the negatives, but that they needn't predominate or be "fed", nurtured & given the residence within, so that it was even more OK to let the dammed up tides of life-force and positives come forth and flourish, & that it didn't depend on "things" being all right, but that things respond to perception, quite literally and demonstrably. It's not for sissies, of course. It takes much courage to rise.

So of course, my heart reaches out to you with great hope and good forecasts for brighter horizons! Hugs - and many thanks, my friend!


Heart Felt Book profile image

Heart Felt Book 5 years ago from New York, NY

AWESOME And I LOVE The INSPIRATION


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Hugs, Heart Felt Book! I love your comment! Thanks!


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 3 years ago from Los Angeles

Oh Nellieanna dear, if the tribulations of life made you the butterfly you are today, it was all worth it. I see your soul being as delicate as the butterfly itself, but your spirit is not fragile and probably has never been.

I love the way you put together this entire piece, poetry, prose and pictures alike.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Well, I like to think that the loving home from which I came got me off to a good start, even though I was dominated by 3 much older siblings. I was loved and encouraged by wonderful parents and learned to be a friend to myself from playing alone at the ranch for months on end. All that we learn about life fits us to handle what it brings.

I can say I wouldn't be who I am without any of it, even the really difficult parts. So you're right. My spirit is not and never was fragile, but I actually needed to preserve the delicate part of me in order to emerge whole which was a conscious goal even during the ordeal. I can admit I might've preferred it to have been different; - but, then - at the same time, I wouldn't give up the process of becoming, so can't really regret. I PRIZE what IS. And it's a tapestry of parts, isn't it? ALL the parts.

Thank you from my heart for coming by and leaving your kind & insightful comments! I'm so happy you're back! Big hugs!

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