My Comparison of My Yesterday Vs. My Today

It's been a few days, or maybe even a week since I've posted something. I usually can just spit a poem out and tweak it a little and post it the next day. However, this week has been a busy week for me, and it was a little difficult to come up with any good thoughts that were clear and precise. I was really occupied being a mom, helping my kids out with costumes and things like that for our homecoming week here in our little town.

It wasn't until I would lay in bed at night to rest that I would come up with something I thought would make sense for a poem. And still, I'm not so sure I'm completely happy with this one I'm posting, but I will leave it up to the readers to decide that.

As this hub title says, I analyze everything. So, when I lay down at night, you can imagine all the things I ponder in my little brain. I think about life. I think about my life and how its changed through the years the most. I don't know why, because I usually live in the moment. I only visit the past when I am writing or when I have too much time on my hands; which isn't that much. In this particular instance, I just couldn't sleep, and so I started analyzing life; my life in general. This poem is the result of that analyzation.

AMONGST

a·mongəˈməNG/prepositionpreposition: amongst

surrounded by; in the company of.

GRANDEUR

gran·deurˈɡranjər,ˈɡranˌdyo͝or/noun

splendor and impressiveness, especially of appearance or style.

AMIDST

a·midstəˈmidst/preposition

variant of amid.

ZOETIC

adjective zo·et·ic \zōˈetik\

Definition of ZOETIC

of or relating to life : living, vital

VIGOR

vig·orˈviɡər/noun

physical strength and good health.

ANGST

angstäNG(k)st/noun

a feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general.

I drive along, and I wonder

as I watch a breeze among

the leaves falling from

the trees…

where are we now? How did

this life get so hard to live out?

I used to breathe in those winds

of fall and feel alive amongst

the splendid grandeur of it all.

Amidst the people of the world,

I was here, a part of earth.

I was human, if but a mystery,

yet still feeling completely

part of a scenery.

Though different, I was,

and unique, I remained;

I felt confident enough

to successfully hide any

pain.

Alive in myself and quite

energetic; I felt my rhythms

as continuous zoetic.

Like the cool water that

rolls over the rocks

of a river; I still felt a

flow of contented

vigor.

Now, it is with much angst

that I try to be a part of

life today; my life in itself…

AGNOSTIC

ag·nos·ticaɡˈnästik/no

a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God or of anything beyond material phenomena; a person who claims neither faith nor disbelief in God.

REALM

realmrelm/nounLAWarchaicliterary

a field or domain of activity or interest

DULLY

In a dull manner; without liveliness; without lustre

QUALM

qualmkwäm,kwälm/noun

an uneasy feeling of doubt, worry, or fear, especially about one's own conduct; a misgiving.

Bearable has gotten dropped

a few notches to knowing I'm

alive but feeling agnostic.

Almost wishing death to

knock on my door. Sick of

waiting on that final realm,

so I can explore.

The sun shines but a dismal

heat. Not a warm invite does

it beat. It shines its rays but dully

I say, blister is all I feel today.

The night comes upon, and I

look for the stars who don't

seem to shine quite as bright

than before.

However, the night, as not the

same, is still my favorite from

the day.

The moon shines and instills in

me a weird but peaceful qualm that

boasts you mustn't give up, just

keep hanging on…