My Favorite Tom Swifties

Tom Swifties are a type of pun in which an adverb or adverbial phrase refers to how someone said something. They originated in the series of books first published in 1910 featuring the fictional character Tom Swift.

In the more than 100 Tom Swift books published, author Victor Appleton II took pains not to repeat such adverbs, or the word "said." I hope you enjoy reading this list of some of my favorite Tom Swifties.

Twenty-five of Victor Appleton's Tom Swift books are in the public domain. They can be downloaded in e-book format from various sources.

• "I've got a knife," he said sharply.
• "I need a pencil sharpener," he said bluntly.
• "I've been to a film festival in Southern France," he said cannily.
• "Its twelve noon," he chimed in.

• "I dropped the toothpaste," he said, crestfallen.
  
  

• "I'm the butcher's assistant," he said cuttingly.
• "I just came in through the door," he said, entranced.
• "I have a split personality," Tom said, being frank.
• "Would anyone like some Parmesan?" he asked gratingly.
• "I forgot my birth control pill,” she said. There was a pregnant pause.
  
  

• "Come here, dog" he muttered.
• "There's a blood sucking insect in every outhouse,” he said aloofly.
• "Where's my billiards equipment?" he said accusingly.
• "There's a stop sign," he said haltingly.
• "We need to call a landscaper," he hedged.
  
  

• "We can't have this and eat it too," said Tom archaically.
• "Cobblers!" said Tom at last.
• "This boat is leaking," said Tom balefully.
• "Give me a haircut," Tom said barbarously
• "I'm losing my hair," Tom bawled.
  
  

• "He's dead, Jim" said Bones gravely.
• "I'm hungry," he said bitingly.
• "The down elevator is over there," he said condescendingly.
• "I really like Picasso," said Tom abstractly.
• "A lot of people didn't show up," said Tom absent-mindedly.
  
  

• "You have to fill in this form,” Tom said blankly.
• "Yes, I have been reading Voltaire," Tom admitted candidly.
• "Use your own toothbrush!" Tom bristled.
• "I'm a great opera singer," said Tom, being callous.
• "I've only enough carpet for the hall and landing," said Tom with a blank stare.

• "We're off to Scotland," said Tom clandestinely
• "Don't add too much water," said Tom with great concentration.
• "I'd like to be a Chinese laborer," said Tom coolly.
• "Give me some pre-packed cheese slices," said Tom craftily.
• "We've brought only gold and frankincense," the Magi demurred.
  
  

• "I want this statue to look like the Venus de Milo," said Tom disarmingly.
• "Don't let me drown in Egypt!" pleaded Tom, deep in denial.
• "Who turned out the lights?" asked Tom darkly.
• "Let's go to McDonald's" said Tom archly.
• "That's too much pineapple," said Tom dolefully.
  
  

• "Pass me the shellfish," said Tom crabbily.
• "You're the son of a female dog!" he sobbed.
• "Here's a person with an IQ of 80!" exclaimed Tom dumbfoundedly.
• "Emily has put on weight," said Tom emphatically.
• "I used to be a paratrooper," Tom explained.
  
  

• "Elvis is dead," said Tom expressly.
• "I used to command a battalion of German ants," said Tom exuberantly.
• "Watch this insect sail through the air," said Tom flippantly.
• "I won't finish in fifth place," Tom held forth.
• "The store has no more bananas," Tom said fruitlessly.
  
  

• "This food tastes of plutonium," said Tom glowingly.
• "Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess," Tom began grimly.
• "I'll beat you with diamonds, clubs, and spades," said Tom heartlessly.
• "There's a snake in the yard," hissed Tom.
• "The doctors had to remove a bone from my arm," said Tom humorlessly.
• "That's an ugly hippopotamus!" said Tom hypocritically.
  
  

Do you have a favorite Tom Swifty? Please post it in the Comments section.