My Healing
I’m not going to fight the memories of the good and bad times
Beat myself up because some of the memories have me longing for your touch
No I haven’t forgotten the pain you caused me or the tears I’ve cried
It’s futile to sit here and try to deny, we did have some good times
Selfishness was the weapon in your war; mine was strength you didn’t know I possessed
Haunted thoughts of you drift into my sub consciousness only to come alive in my dreams
When I close my eyes to sleep
Running away from facing feelings unresolved, only made me realize I need to exorcise these demons
So I can move on with my life
To say I hate you would only give you power, to say I’d loved you once upon a time might be more real
But its forgiveness that I have to find in me to get back what I lost when I turned my power over to you
And you abused it so cruelly
Had to learn to love life again
Even when the darkest days threaten to swallow me whole
Age and maturity watered with the tears of growth
Learning who I am and what I stand for
Imagining good can come from bad
Not letting the past recur in my future
Giving it all to God for without Him I wouldn’t be
HEALING
© 2010 ek ellis