Original Sin

Original Sin

by Laura Summerville Reed


I want to be humble

I want to be noble

I want to be generous

and kind

I want to be these

at someone else’s expense


With the ripping pain that set the course

I blindly left behind all I’d ever known

to scream forth from my mother’s womb

Wailing freedom

to the tune of selfishness

I held the hammer of human nature in tiny fists

and nailed my list of demands

to the nursery room door


I want to be made of stone

I want to be a diamond

Uncut

Never required to shimmer and shine

I want to be made of flesh and blood

I don’t want to have to bleed


I want to walk through your doors

with my list of demands

and nail them to your outstretched hands


LSR 2010©

Comments 32 comments

ralwus 6 years ago

Ahh but gorgeous, then you would be no mortal. and you must be mortal to be a princess, which you are. Lovely. yes x


lalesu profile image

lalesu 6 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon Author

Dear Charlie, thank you so much, you are too kind, but the only crown I possess goes in a highball glass and I drink it straight up, haha! ~ Laura ;D


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 6 years ago

I am not clear on what part of that poem addressed original sin but you did a lovely job of sketching the character of a brat. It was a fun read.


lalesu profile image

lalesu 6 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon Author

Hello Jaggedfrost, I'm sorry the title and content of the poem are unclear to you, but I suppose the ambiguous nature of poetry is some of its beauty; one gleans from it what one will. Thank you for stopping by to read and share your thoughts. ~ Laura


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Hey Laura, the good news is that the only way any of us can be those things is at the expense of someone else--the one who holds the scepter wears the scars of my selfishness and that's ok with him so it's good enough for me. Wonderful as always Ms. Summerville =:)


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 6 years ago from Texas

A tendency towards sin, not feeling guilty but demanding the entire way. One needs to read and reread to gather the tasty morsals from your poetry. Beautiful...


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

You need to get on down to Burger King cause it sounds like you are in the mood to "have it your way". At the same time, do I detect a bit of self-redress and recognition that possibly you expected more than you should have? I sense confidence and courage tinged with a bit of remorse...yeah, that's it! WB


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA

Ah, the raw and unrepentant egocentricity of a child...enviable in its innocent insistence, "It's all about ME".

I so resent the world's constant contradictions, that I am not the center of the universe.

Laura, thanks for the smile this put on my face.

CP


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 6 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

Here is to "straight up" and the drink is on me..!


Hiredpun profile image

Hiredpun 6 years ago from Southern California

Well done Laura Summerville Reed.

~J


James McV Sailor profile image

James McV Sailor 6 years ago from Northern California

Ah yes... I sense some pain and those everlasting questions, "Why me? Why this, why now?"..... But no self pity.... next time it will be different! Well, ultimately it is only as different as we are then. I think I got it right. At any rate I loved the poem, and it rang familiar with me. JM


lalesu profile image

lalesu 6 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon Author

Dear Winsome, it's always so nice to see you here on my page! Thank you for your lovely comments and compliments to my writing, kind sir!

Augustine, that you take the time to read much less reread anything I write is such a wonderful compliment. Thank you so very much!

Ahh, Wayne Brown...I do recognize in myself a bit of all you addressed in your comments. Once again you have such an insight. I thank you for that, my friend!

Dear Christopher..."the center of the Universe", or at least for this Blue Planet..there are just under 3500 satellites orbiting earth, if I need a boost to my ego I just imagine they're all circling ME! haha! Thank you so much for the comments and compliments.

Dallas, now there's an offer I can't refuse, thank you! ~

J.K., thank you so very, very much!

Dear Mr McV, I'm pretty sure you got it right, haha! I am so very glad you enjoyed it and that you felt some connection to the words..thank you so much.

~ Laura


Awful Poet profile image

Awful Poet 6 years ago from The Large Magellanic Cloud (LMC) (m-M)_0 = 18.41, or 48 kpc (~157,000

Simply put.. Beautiful.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

.....yes it's true - you are an original - and though it may not be a sin for anyone who has a smile as beautiful as yours - but it's definitely an art - well, like your writing!!!!!


lalesu profile image

lalesu 6 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon Author

AP, thank you for saying my writing is beautiful. It means so much to me.

Epigramman, you are too kind, my good man. I may have written the poem, but once again you are the artist responsible for the smile at this moment! Thank you so very much! ;D

~ Laura


Awful Poet profile image

Awful Poet 5 years ago from The Large Magellanic Cloud (LMC) (m-M)_0 = 18.41, or 48 kpc (~157,000

I can not get enough of this piece it touches me,

I'm looking forward to readiing more soon.


lalesu profile image

lalesu 5 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon Author

Dear AP, thank you for reading. You honor me. ~ Laura


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 5 years ago

Ouch! I've got some bad-aids though.


Pachuca213 5 years ago

Very nice!


lalesu profile image

lalesu 5 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon Author

Micky, got any linen gauze? ;D

Hello Pachuca, and thank you so very much! ~ Laura


dags the drover profile image

dags the drover 5 years ago from still lost in Western Australia

hi lalesu, I think you have the nub of original sin right there in that poem..... well my understanding of it anyway!! Just those couple of lines that indentify ME as the centre of everything. Well thats what happened for me anyway.... thanks and cheers Dags the Drover


lalesu profile image

lalesu 5 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon Author

Hello Dags the Drover! Thank you for stopping by and making me feel as though everything is a bit closer to the center of my world, haha!. It's truly a delightful thing to know when people read and (at least claim to, lol,) glean some enjoyment from my writing! Thank you, again. ~ Laura


Bill Crosby 5 years ago

I liked your thoughts. They spoke to me. Bill


lalesu profile image

lalesu 5 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon Author

I'm glad you liked it, Bill. That it spoke to you is high praise, indeed. Thank you.


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 5 years ago from Lagos

I would love to walk on water, fly, dance on the moon and touch the skies. Just dreaming like you. Great poem. Lovely


lalesu profile image

lalesu 5 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon Author

Hello Ubanichijioke, thank you so much. So glad to have you reading my words and sharing your thoughts here.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Hi, lalesu, GREAT read. Very deep. Touching. Enjoyed it a lot. And LOVE your writing style. Voted up and away. I am now, with your permission, a fan and follower. Sincerely, Kenneth Avery, from a rural town, Hamilton, in northwest Alabama that resembles Mayberry, the town on the Andy Griffith Show. Glad to meet you!


lalesu profile image

lalesu 5 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon Author

Hi Kenneth! It's so nice to meet you, as well, and thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I've never visited your hometown, but it sounds lovely, much like the area of Western KY where I grew up ~ Laura


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Hi, Laura! Nice to meet you also. We love Hamilton. It's small. We know who all lives here and that sort of thing. You are Cordially Invited to visit anytime. And I Extend My Cordial Invitation to YOU to follow me and check out my comical hubs. If you are in need of a good laugh. I would love that. Have a Safe and Cheery Sunday and let me hear from you soon. Right on, Small Town, America!


lalesu profile image

lalesu 5 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon Author

Thank you, Kenneth, on both counts. I will be reading your stories, and if ever I have the opportunity to visit Hamilton I will certainly be asking you where the best apple pie and cup of coffee can be found! ;D


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

Isn't it somewhat sad that fine Hubs seem to just turn into humus for new Hubbies? [Not a reference to your paper airplanes and tarmac.] I was drawn in by your smile, and stayed for your thoughts. Worth the stay for Up and Interesting.


lalesu profile image

lalesu 4 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon Author

Hello Perspycacious, thank you very much for taking a moment to peek at a bit of my rambling thoughts. You've refreshed and replenished the smile on my face, thank you! ;D

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