Prose - Am I A River?

Prose - Am I A River?

Am I a river?
I was
But now I am a lake
Because of the dam
The dam of life
The dam I hate
The dam I cannot defeat
I see my stream
But I cannot rise above the dam
So I sit
And I wait
And I exist
But I do not live
But as I am slowly released
Part of me has become you
For I too am a stream
Yet you want a river
And now I look for a river too

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Comments 20 comments

Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

This is the best poem you posted on HP so I hope you will continuu in this poetic direction where one offers more than just questions. Great job


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Really? That good? This is in response to a poem I read somewhere on here so I can't take credit for the stream/river analogy... I started thinking about lakes....


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

See? What did I tell you? - the more you read, the better you get:-))).

I have a poem about something very similar, but I am not sure if to post it on HP or to submitte it to a real publisher. Will decide when I come back from vacation after Thankgiving


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Ha... you are the proud parent of a new baby! :)

Just out of curiosity... why would you not post the poem here and attempt to have it published?


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

HP is considered self-publishing and if you want to have your work published by a literary magazine then keep in mind they want original poems, never before published


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

That's because they want all the money for themselves!!!!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 6 years ago

Maybe I'm wrong...but I think if you did not accept money for your work on HP...you can still get it published in a literary magazine...And you do see poems that were published being used for TV ads etc. so....Anyway I loved this Poem.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

b. Malin,

Thanks for responding. I have no idea but I hope you are right.... it keeps hope alive!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

Excellent expression of a very real feeling. I love the free flow of the river, too. However, we must remember that the lake achieves greater depth and width than the river could before being dammed up. And the marine life in a lake is phenomenal. I wrote this little one-linerr about it once long ago:

The height of the dam determines the depth of the lake.

Also - don't forget there are natural lakes without dams, such as Michigan, Huron, Ontario, etc - leftovers from the shallow sea which once covered the continent we're on and part of the slow-moving life of our planet.

Beautiful, though I wonder why you call this poetry - prose?


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Nellieanna... I call it prose because I clearly do not have a sense of what qualifies and poetry and what is prose. I guess I don't think much about it and knee-jerk a title.

Yes the lake has more depth but the dam is representative of life (a metaphor! Bingo! That makes it a poem right?). Some lakes as you say are naturally the way they are and they are at peace; the river dammed has been prevented from fulfilling it's destiny...


mythbuster profile image

mythbuster 6 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

Nice stuff - I tweeted this


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

I'm not sure I know just what qualifies as prose or poetry either. I judge my own by length - LOL. My prose is tediously lengthy and my poetry is very short. But actually - more than that, poetry, for me, has a quality of "music" to it, not necessarily with rhyme but a kind of balance and "measure", possibly a rhythm, but not necessarily. Prose is just sort of strings of words with a message. I think figures of speech such as metaphors and similes can appear in either prose or poetry, though probably more often in poetry. But when one thinks about it, a parable or an allegory is one big metaphor and is usually prose.

I just checked with the computer dictionary for a definition of prose and this is what it says: "written or spoken language in its ordinary form, without metrical structure."

Here's their definition of poetry: "literary work in which special intensity is given to the expression of feelings and ideas by the use of distinctive style and rhythm."

I suspect that to some people "prose" sounds like it should be identical to poetry. It is a rather "pretty" word. But it may be clearer in the adjective form: prosaic. That almost screams "ordinary language." Still few people routinely would identify their memos, letters, or instructions as being in prose form, so just using the term may seem to put a writing into a headier category.

Even though these words are distinct in their meaning, still It's an interesting matter of concept, isn't it?


Daniel J Brereton profile image

Daniel J Brereton 6 years ago from New York, NY

This is a great extended metaphor! I really enjoyed it!


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Mythbuster,

I've been tweeted? Is that good? :)

Thank you for commenting..


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Nellianna,

I get it! I think.... prose could possibly be an extremely well written piece that contains some feeling but does not make it all the way to poetry in the sense of true metaphor and possibly deeper feelings. I don't know... I just write the stuff and it's up to others more learned than I to classify it all. I just hope it works as it does in my mind.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Daniel,

Thank you for commenting... it is a metaphor and it somewhat describes my life in many ways... but it doesn't have to be about another person.... it can be about anything that you wish for....


Fareehaarif profile image

Fareehaarif 5 years ago

Great, I like it...


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@Fareehaarif - thank you for commenting!


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

I love the imagery in this poem. It’s the sort of poem that you read slowly several times and see new meaning each time that you read it.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@AliciaC - thank you!

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