Prose - No Bridge to Cross

No Bridge to Cross

Living with an unrevealing mind
All around the color of dread
There are so many problems
The vine has tied me to my bed

It's a one way ride
Swirling down the sink
Why is leaving always so hard?
I don't know what to think

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do
There's no bridge to cross
There's
no bridge to cross

I feel a new beginning
Bubbling to the surface
But the water is on fire
Change drowns in a furnace

Guilt my companion
Worry always present
Stress, anxiety, pressure
Is how my day is spent

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do
There's no bridge to cross
There's no bridge to cross

Freedom an elusive dream
I'm surrounded by locked gates
Walking a mental minefield
What will be my fate?

Is there an answer
Or only a guess?
The search for perfection
Masks all hint of progress

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do
There's no bridge to cross
There's no bridge to cross

They say time heals all wounds
On this I must rely
But today I must put the knife in
And bleed all over another goodbye

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Comments 23 comments

DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 6 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =)

Beautiful! Thanks for sharing! =)


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Dj... everything here is for everyone... I'm just glad to be able to contribute....


Neverletitgo profile image

Neverletitgo 6 years ago from Minneapolis, MN

It is really reat hub and thanks for sharing.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Never... no answers means no bridge....


anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh 6 years ago from New York

It is said that intense writers are born only when the 'going gets tough'. I haven't seen so much hurt pouring out from the heart of a happy man. So please don't say to me that "its only a poem". I can so well understand that feeling of 'tied down to the bed'. I know how it is. Well, all said and done, the best way is to get out in the sunshine and feel some warm breeze. Its ok to feel hurt or guilty as we are humans ...fragile humans, more specifically. Most important is that you do it soon enough as we don't have much time for the winter to set in. As a writer you would understand that by saying 'winter' I did not literally mean winter. It was more symbolic of losing youth and agility. You know what I mean!! Someone told me once that the best way to be happy is to let go and act stupid once in a while even if that means participating in mindless and worthless fun. The noise outside, tends to overpower the uncomfortable, scary and tormenting silence inside us and thats all what is needed, sometimes, for a new beginning. :)


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

anjalichugh,

I know what you mean... It is merely a poem but you are right to a certain extent that I have my problems. I am generally a positive person and can compartmentalize things so that I can enjoy life. But we all have problems... at times my work is autobiographical and other times it is empathetic... I don't want to take all the mystery out of it so I'll let you decide which is which... Thank you very much for such a heartfelt comment.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Great write. I seem to burn my bridges before I cross them.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thanks Micky,

Usually it's after we cross huh? When you do it before you have no place to go but back....


Joy56 profile image

Joy56 6 years ago

oooh water being on fire, is a great thought... bridges, crossing, new beginnings, i hope you get there, i hope we all get there. When we get there, do you think the pubs will still be open? Really enjoyed reading this


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

wow Elegant, eloquent words to describe negative experience - or feelings of experience, which really is all one has to know about an experience, isn't it? As far as the rest of the world around us as we are experiencing such deep and passionate feelings, - nothing is going on. It's all inside, in our minds and hearts. And the good news is that we have the major "say" about what we allow to take root and grow there, and also about HOW we want it to take root and grow. We can give more but also we can hold out for more to be given us before we lay ourselves on the line, giving without limit only to be denied more.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@Joy - oh yes... in my fantasy worlds there are pubs when we cross to the other side! As they say "it's my dream so I can dream as I wish!"


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@Nellianna - Thank you. The decision to move on is not made lightly by a feeling person; yet have we truly moved on... the blood spatters all over ourselves and others... it dries but never leaves.... like a scar. We can control what we give and what we withhold but we are not immune to the consequences of our decision.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

i suppose that the inherent pain that goes with change, - at least for us human beings, - is in our ability to remember the past and anticipate the future. Other creatures seem simply to live with what is going on in the present, scream when it hurts and enjoy when it doesn't. We scream when it hurts and then keep screaming even long after \the actual source of pain stops. We don't let go. We live with regrets for that which cannot be redone or improved, with an ever-present sense of loss for that which is no longer a choice - and in the process, I guess we sometimes miss doing what CAN be done and can be improved with our present, as we tangle with the past and worry that we'll do it wrong in the future - or hope that it will magically improve somehow. If religion is capable of teaching us anything, it should be the thing we most easily seem to miss in it - genuine forgiveness, "rebirth" -which each moment literally should be - and doing better. The emphasis on guilt and retribution just overshadows those messages, it seems.

I think your lines are incredibly wise:

"The search for perfection?

Masks all hint of progress"

I certainly couldn't say it any better!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

I don't know where that (?) came from in the quotation. Sorry about that. It almost changes the meaning! I didn't notice it till it was too late to edit it out.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Nellieanna,

Great comments... we all do seem to beat each other up at times; along with ourselves... forgiveness is so difficult and I'm no different in my struggles... I wrote a piece called "An Interview with Jesus" and my first question was why I carry a hammer and a nail... I started with my own judgemental nature.

Don't worry about typos... I specialize in them it seems... sotublepgoajg agpofjpafj a


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

Tee hee. Actually sometimes this first ever new Mac laptop seems to be a little like a horse knowing the rider is not vey experienced at riding it and putting me to the test. Though I"ve been into computers a very long time, Mac is a bit different!


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

I wish I could blame the machine... my problem is I type too fast.... I'm very impatient and I just take off with reckless abandon...


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

I'm too fast, in addition to the new machine. hehe. And on the laptop, in an awkward position hardly helps. But reckless abandon is so good!!


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Reckless abandon is great! Your instincts take over and sometimes by abandoning careful consideration you can find yourself in a new place that opens new doors to you...


Nayothara profile image

Nayothara 6 years ago

AWESOME.

This is a painful feeling. Knowing the limits and cannot do much. Feeling everything loosing slowly slowly, but yet cannot do much. This is painful... IT is painful that some people loose the things they should not be loosing by the time. Understanding is just a word in these situation, and Love, there is no love.

Painful~ LOVELY HUB!


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Thank you Nayo...

Yes it's about wanting to leave but knowing that in leaving the pain may actually increase... it's a trapped feeling with no answers... so you wait and hope that something will open a door that you cannot see.... or you dive into the flames and hope you can make it to the unpromised other side....


Nayothara profile image

Nayothara 6 years ago

Yeah, wanting to leave, but well still thinking of that very person and not crossing the lines. Even thought you said you wasn't a emotional person, I think you can understand the emotional feelings better than most of others who says they are sensitive!! I admire the way you write. Simple yet strong, and of course these are complicated situations for every person.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

Nayo... thank you again..

When I say I'm not a sensitive person I mean that I am strong and not weepy about things. I am a leader at work and have a forceful and cocky personality. But on the inside emotions are very much alive. People know I care. I speak with passion at meetings but not as one who pleas with people but as one who puts his personal power of appeal into the words. Everyone knows at the end that I mean it... You know, it's kind of like "I don't just work here. I care about it."

As for hurting someone I could do it easily long ago when I was your age. Now I can't as much even when I feel they deserve it. Maybe though my way of leaving is worse; a thousand little cuts instead of just ending it all at once. Maybe I'm a coward....

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