Square Hailstones - Redneck Tale # 36

Mother Nature knows best!
Mother Nature knows best!

All of this writing stuff will get to you

Sometimes it snows in July, and Mother Nature has been known to perform wonders for any of us who care to take a look once in a while. Today, for example, the weather turned. Hail was coming down from the few clouds that were floating in the blue sky above. The size of the hailstones was about like that of a baseball. Pretty heavy stuff it was. As the hailstones crashed through the trees, knocking leaves, branches, and birds helter-skelter, the noise was deafening and the damage to growing stuff was awesome.

Right about that moment I noticed something different about this hail. It was unlike the hail that had come crashing out of blue skies upon Egypt back in the days of Moses. The doggone hailstones were square. Think about that for a bit. Ordinary hailstones crash through trees, knocking leaves, branches, and birds helter-skelter, with deafening noise and awesome damage to all things that simply want to root in the ground and grow tall and hearty. Once they reach the ground, ordinary hailstones bounce around, roll here and there, and more or less dare anyone or anything to catch them as they bounce and roll.

Not these square hailstones. They did not roll. They did not bounce. They built up, forming walls and ramparts. Furthermore, the bright sunlight reflected off of them as though they had sides like mirrors.

I reached for my trusty digital camera so that I might capture the image of this somewhat unusual display of natural diversity. Unfortunately, the batteries had lost their "batt" such that the gadget refused to do its pixel stuff. No images to back up what I am telling you here. Some days a person can lose while winning. Today I was losing while losing. Today was one of those days.

In the meantime, that hot and beaming sun kept pouring heat and light down onto the square hailstones, melting the things as fast as warm Coca-Cola melts ice cubes in your glass. These square hailstones were quite a bit larger than ordinary ice cubes, but, drip by drip, they disappeared before the camera batteries would recharge for me.

This brought on quite a headache from the tension of hoping that a photo could yet be produced. Oh, it hurt a lot. So off to the doc’s clinic I went in search of some relief.

What a day! That turkey of an M.D. listened as I explained my experience of the morning. When I got through describing the square hailstones, he said, "Hmmmph!" and then told me that he was taking me off of all of the meds I was swallowing.

"That’s it for you, Gus. That’s it for you!"


More by this Author


Comments 24 comments

billyaustindillon profile image

billyaustindillon 6 years ago

I had a good laugh here Gus those square hailstones would be handy for a cocktail ot two though - ready made. :)


SimeyC profile image

SimeyC 6 years ago from NJ, USA

Wow that's pretty cool! Are you sure someone didn't drop an ice tray out of a jet airline!!! Mother nature can be really strange at times - my best was watching it snow upwards - there were some really funny winds going on and somehow the snow came at us sideways and then started shooting upwards!!! Weird!


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

If you were on the meds, Gus, go off them!

If you were off the meds, Gus, go take them quick!


K9keystrokes profile image

K9keystrokes 6 years ago from Northern, California

What a great story Gus! I found myself amazed at the idea of square hail, I laughed at your discriptions of warm cola on ice cubes and felt concern for your poor achin' head. Hope your days get better and that you write more entertaining hubs like this! Thanks for the read.


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA Author

Howdy b.a.d, SimeyC, drbj, and K9K - What can I say to you nice people other than "The cure for not laughing is..." Ahhh - you already know that, don't you?

Gus ;-)))


mquee profile image

mquee 6 years ago from Columbia, SC

Hi Gus, who is your doctor? I might need some of the meds that you take. Great one Gus!!!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA Author

Howdy Milt -Join the crowd. I have opened up a medical referral service and that info is for sale at a good price.

Gus ;-O


mquee profile image

mquee 6 years ago from Columbia, SC

Oh, I see now, this is where you begin to make those millions.


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA Author

Milt - You catch on quickly for an old guy...

Gus ;-)


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 6 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

It's like seeing an alien and the camera battery is dead. How do expect anyone to believe it? Square hailstones. It's not the meds, it's whatever you've been smoking my friend!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA Author

Hi Austinstar - Funny thing, good friend. Back in the "old" days they used to smoke dried Jimson weed (Datura stramonium I believe was the tech name for the stuff) to help with asthma, COPD, and the like. Another funny thing is that the Canadian folks who pushed for legalizing marijuana smoking used my 1996 tobacco radioactivity article like crazy as a main reference to show that their pot stuff is safer than tobacco. They even brought it up to their government as a reason to grant their request for open pot sales in Canada. It's a funny, funny world we live in, cough in, and see strange things in... It may have been something with that breakfast. Do you think "maybe so"???

Gus :-)))


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 6 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

I remember Jimson weed was called Loco Weed. I have no idea whether marijuana is safe or not. I do know that those that use it really like it. In the "old" days, I tried it and found it just put me to sleep. What good is that? I can and have slept standing up just because I can sleep anywhere at anytime. My husband thinks I'm a freak. I can drink coffee and then go back to bed for a nap. I swear I have narcolepsy.

But back to MJ being safe. I doubt it. It's a burning weed causing smoke that is inhaled into the lungs which are way too delicate for me to keep contaminating. That's why I quit those Marlboros so many years ago. I like breathing, it's fun!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA Author

Austinstar - I believe that they call those who walk around asleep, "Zombies."

Gus ;-)


sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 6 years ago

Gosh, I don't have any meds and I don't smoke any funny stuff, so I feel out of it here. Oh, well, that's nothing new. I liked your story.


SampsonVeteran profile image

SampsonVeteran 6 years ago from SAFBVA Member, Box 1741,Bellaire,TX 77402

Thanks sheila b - No meds and no smoking is the greatest. The closest I ever came to that "funny stuff" was accepting a planter pot that I stuck out in the yard. After a time out grew a marijuana plant. I kept the thing because it was a very pretty plant - until I found out what it was. Scared the daylights out of me thinking my neighbors could have turned me in to the law for growing the thing.

Hey - I just noticed something. I got into the comments section on the GusTheRedneck hub site but I was then logged into SampsonVeteran. You can see how that worked out!

Gus :-)))


KFlippin profile image

KFlippin 6 years ago from Amazon

Hmmmmm.......I think Stepehen King would take that idea and run with it, square hail falling and forming up walls and ramparts and reflecting light like mirrors....an alien or high tech attack like none other, trapping the humans, etc.....


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA

Well I swan...I guess Gullible should be my middle name , because I was thinking this was a true story! Your fault......very convincing!

bayoulady


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA Author

Nice bayoulady - Now THAT is quite a coincidence. I thought the same thing.

When a tale is made of the "hole" cloth it is likely that folks will see right through it... They say that a story on canvas is less transparent; however, all I had on hand was mosquito netting.

Note, though, that I do not lie about stuff. I simply tell the truth differently than honest people would tell it.

Gus ;-0


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA Author

Hey there Katie - I apologize for skipping over your most welcome comment. You are correct. Square hail, building into walls and ramparts with their sides shining like mirrors and threatening humankind would make for a good story and a good Sci-Fi movie, too.

It would take a more serious-minded person than me to make a go of that, so why don't you give it a try? I can see the title of the show already - "The Squares From Outer Space - Un-Hip Aliens Try to Freeze All Life and Blind Earthlings With Reflected Radiation from the Hot Sun!"

(Isn't it the greatest to be able to think outside of the box - or maybe, that is, to think outside of the round ball - or maybe even to think just plain "outside?" After all - outside is ordinarily where all hail breaks loose.)

In fact I one time heard someone say out loud, "What in the hail is going on today?" So you tell me "weather" or not my square hail story was or was not (or should have been) just about the most accurate report you ever did read! Go ahead, Tell me!

Gus ;-O


KFlippin profile image

KFlippin 6 years ago from Amazon

Hi Gus, Yes! it is just about the most accurate report I ever did read! And I adore thinking out of the 'fox'. :)


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA Author

Katie - "Accuracy Ueber alles!" Isn't that what the Chinese say? Ooops - wrong box!

Gus ;-O


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA Author

This is the LATE, LATE,LATE Show! Here we are at 28 July and a report just in from the Dakotas tells of 2+ pound size hailstones (round rascals and not square as are my kind of hailstones). Here is a URL for the report. I hope that it is still up there on the Internet when you go to look for it.

http://www.keloland.com/News/NewsDetail6371.cfm?Id...

Gus :-)))


PADDYBOY60 profile image

PADDYBOY60 5 years ago from Centreville Michigan

Howdy Gus. I think someone spilled their glass of lemonade up above.Lol. Strange things happen in nature. I saw a lot of strange things when I lived in Texas. The strangest being me!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Howdy Patrick (Paddyboy) - Sometimes lemonade does that sort of thing to those who write. This type of hailstone is the sort of miraculous undertaking that Moses might have attempted were he a Redneck (just saying...)

Gus :-)))

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working