So confuse

Chris was my everything and my first love, he was the one and i will never forget that day. I wasn't ready and i told him.I wanted it seal until the right moment which is after wedding but he made me believe that we were meant for each other. Yes, i believed because his eyes were filled with everything a young girl wants to see in a guy. I will not say that i was an armature because at 17, i was taking care of myself and catering for my sick mother,as of my dad, the coward wasn't there.

Everything was okay between us and when he had no money to pay his rent and was thrown out by his landlord,i took him in and that was how we began living together, i also helped him got a new job. You see, we were always together but there were times we were not and whenever we are not together,we talk on the phone, at a point, i was suspended for using my cell phone while attending to one of the residents.

It was Victoria who told me about Chris's double life, at first i ignored her but Chris locking his cell phone with a code and even his laptop which i bought for him is now locked with a pas code,these rose my suspicion because he suddenly began locking them and when i asked why; he gave me a good reason. To curb intruders. His friends normally use his laptop at work, i understand and his cell phone too. Anyway, one day i noticed stain of lipstick on his shirt and when i asked him about it; he said, it might be from one of passengers on the bus because the bus was crowded that night.

You see, i trust my man and i trust him with my life but as a young girl, i also have this thing called INQUISITIVE. I wanted to find out if he is cheating and the only one to help me was Victoria,we grew up together and always watched each other's back so she brought up the idea to seduce him and if he ever fall then it means that he is cheating on me. The plan was for her to come to our apartment when i will be at work and Chris home.

"He is a stubborn fella" she told me when i asked her how it went. She went on to tell me how much he loved me and how he warned her never to ever try to come between us, she begged him to forgive her and he agreed and also agreed not to let me know what she did. I bought it then four days later, after a double shift,i went home nine hours late, Chris was not expecting me by that time because normally my shift runs 12hrs but i mean, working 12hrs and an extra 12hours in a dementia nursing home is enough to kill someone, my Manager saw how tired i was so she sent me home and covered the remaining 3hrs.

I still can not believe it, it is been five months now but it is still fresh and the shock is still in me, i still take medication because of the shock which paused my breathing for two hours. How does it feel when one is stabbed with a blunt object? How does it feel when the one to console you is actually the one that made you cry? Do you know what it means to catch your beloved boy friend and best friend on bed? My heart broke that early morning when i saw them; Chris and Victoria. These are the two people i love, cherish and trust. Anyway, the idiots pleaded with me but there was nothing to bring forgiveness.

That vampire sucked my man the first day we set the trap and instead of blood she got juice and it entangled her but the fact is that She had wanted Chris from day one and tried so many ways to get me out of the picture and she got what she want. Now he has no place to go, no where to lay heads, not in her apartment because she lives under her parent's roof. You see, it is so true that one doesn't know the value of what one has until it slip away. How can i take him back? How can i? He stole my virginity and broke my heart and now he wants to come back. I pity him but how can i go on with him? It is true, once a liar, always a liar and once a cheat,always a cheat.

I am so confuse, i don't know what to do? Should i give him another chance as he plead?

"I will make it up to you Angel, please forgive me, to er is human but forgive is divine. I am not the devil, please forgive me, it is hard but you can do it. She led me to it, she lied to me, i am so sorry Baby". This is one of his numerous text messages to me.

I am so confuse and it is affecting me,i cry every minute of the day, i cry at work, i cry while eating and my tears are filled in my story, sometimes i feel like killing myself just to end the pain but how can i take my own life? Please help me, what should i do? It is hard to go on without him but harder to live with him, advise me please, i need your advise as you have read my story.

"Should i give him another chance?"

Comments 6 comments

Shanders profile image

Shanders 3 years ago from Port Huron, Michigan

Some typos and grammatical errors, but overall good job conveying the betrayal in this piece :)


Rossimobis profile image

Rossimobis 3 years ago from Biafra Author

English language is not my major, not even my second language,trying to be good in it but thanks for the observation(s) and for reading. If possible, sort out the errors and give me the correction.


Shanders profile image

Shanders 3 years ago from Port Huron, Michigan

Sure thing :-) wasn't meant to be insulting, just to be clear,i frequently make typos myself lol, and for English not being your first language you're doing great! Look forward to reading more from u :-)


Rossimobis profile image

Rossimobis 3 years ago from Biafra Author

Not @all Shanders, not an insult, no offense buddy , this is a big circle here and i appreciate your observation.


Shanders profile image

Shanders 3 years ago from Port Huron, Michigan

Ok, good :-) I'm always apprehensive to offer constructive criticism, some people done take it well lol although I welcome it personally, its how we grow :-) glad you were not offended


Rossimobis profile image

Rossimobis 3 years ago from Biafra Author

One love...

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